Re: having kids....

[Azure]

Again, I think getting married and having children is a normal , healthy desire .
BUT, here's the rub in my thought process.

Why do so many say it's one extreme or the other:
1. Married with kids  or       2. Bachelor life with dating

Why does marriage have to automatically include kids?
AGAIN, there is NOTHING wrong or bad about getting married and having kids.
BUT why is that the assumed default setting for so many people?

Can't marriage simply be about a loving relationship and partnership ?

Maybe I'm odd, but I enjoy married life and my wife and I never wanted kids.

Question - Is it possible that people usually have kids when married because it's the expected norm of couples?

Howard I know several married couples who did not have or ever want kids. They're all very satisfied with their choices. I just found as I got older that the available  men who were in my age group didn't want to be married. They had either been there or done that and were done with married life or they just never wanted to settle down and lose their freedom

I rarely came across men who said yeah I want to get married but I don't want kids.

Where most folks go wrong is that they end up doing the married and kids routine because that's what they think they are supposed to do. It's more obligation than desire. I know a ton of married with children people who are miserable becuase it isn't what they really wanted. They were pressured into it

[Radical Plato]

Yup ! That's my basic view as well. I believe in GOD, but feel there is more then one path to HIM

How boring, just one god. If I was dumb enough to believe in a divine creation I at least would believe in multiple gods, have some real fun with it. At least the Ancient Greeks had really cool gods.

[Croatch]

How boring, just one god. If I was dumb enough to believe in a divine creation I at least would believe in multiple gods, have some real fun with it. At least the Ancient Greeks had really cool gods.

Many hung like elementary school boys.  You'd think they'd give the statue maker another $20 to add some girth and a few inches.

[OB1]

How boring, just one god. If I was dumb enough to believe in a divine creation I at least would believe in multiple gods, have some real fun with it. At least the Ancient Greeks had really cool gods.

Exactly.
Or the whole bunch of indian deities.

One thing i also observed...
A lot of religious people pretend to believe in god but in reality money is their god.

[Howard]

Exactly.
Or the whole bunch of indian deities.

One thing i also observed...
A lot of religious people pretend to believe in god but in reality money is their god.

I've always had a thing for Zeus. That fuker could throw lighting bolts.
Plus, he's up on Mt Olympus, which is a lot like being on the Olympia stage.

Plus, mythic legend has it that Zeus and his bros came down to mate with human females!
THAT behavior combined with throwing the lighting bolts has to make Zeus the ultimate getbigger GOD to worship.

hope this helps

[OB1]

I've always had a thing for Zeus. That fuker could throw lighting bolts.
Plus, he's up on Mt Olympus, which is a lot like being on the Olympia stage.

Plus, mythic legend has it that Zeus and his bros came down to mate with human females!
THAT behavior combined with throwing the lighting bolts has to make Zeus the ultimate getbigger GOD to worship.

hope this helps

LOL yeah.
When i was a kid Zeus has been quite impressive.

[Howard]

LOL yeah.
When i was a kid Zeus has been quite impressive.

...when you were a kid he was ?

Fuk, I just converted part of my backyard to a scaled Mt Olympus replica and Zeus worship alter.
I have it rigged up to shoot flames at anyone who ridicules it  as silly.

That's how I roll baby.

[Tapeworm]

I've always had a thing for Zeus. That fuker could throw lighting bolts.
Plus, he's up on Mt Olympus, which is a lot like being on the Olympia stage.

Plus, mythic legend has it that Zeus and his bros came down to mate with human females!
THAT behavior combined with throwing the lighting bolts has to make Zeus the ultimate getbigger GOD to worship.

hope this helps

'Mate with.'  Riiight.

[OB1]

...when you were a kid he was ?

Fuk, I just converted part of my backyard to a scaled Mt Olympus replica and Zeus worship alter.
I have it rigged up to shoot flames at anyone who ridicules it  as silly.

That's how I roll baby.

LOL!
May I suggest the use of electricity for some tresspasser electrocuting lightning flashes?

[Azure]

Wow, that phrase of "settle down and lose their freedom" really caught my attention.
In my opinion, IF you marry the right PARTNER, you gain in life and don't lose anything.

Granted, if the guy wants to be free to screw around with multiple partners, ok, that makes sense.
BUT, I don't see too many men out there screwing 100's of Playmate models LOL.

Plus, I don't consider having multiple sex partners as the ideal existence anyway.
In my younger days, I had my share of experience with screwing around with a variety of willing girls.
It was fun and I don't regret it. BUT, it lacked depth and meaning, so I evolved into preferring marriage.

Nailed it.

As cliche as it sounds that's why people should always start out as friends. I knew this was different because when something funny would happen that would be the first person I would want to share it with. If I thought about doing something fun that was the first person I contacted to see if he was available

It wasn't about losing freedom but gaining someone to do life with

Also I know a lot of men who have 100's of women at their disposal and while there fun for a while it's pretty empty coming home to nothing or someone who doesn't care about you. There's nothing like having stability especially in a high pressure situation

I can say the same. I should also add I am doing things I never thought I would do but the right person changes things

[Primemuscle]

Again, I think getting married and having children is a normal , healthy desire .
BUT, here's the rub in my thought process.

Why do so many say it's one extreme or the other:
1. Married with kids  or       2. Bachelor life with dating

Why does marriage have to automatically include kids?
AGAIN, there is NOTHING wrong or bad about getting married and having kids.
BUT why is that the assumed default setting for so many people?

Can't marriage simply be about a loving relationship and partnership ?

Howard, why did it take you so long to find a perfectly logical opinion on having children?

Just so you know, I completely support what you've posted here. Bottom line, "to each his own".

Marriage can definitely about loving relationships and must be about a partnership. If it isn't about this, it is pretty shallow. Children, for some are like icing on the cake.

This world we live in is overrun with humans. I applaud anyone who chooses to not add to this disastrous overpopulation.

Maybe I'm odd, but I enjoy married life and my wife and I never wanted kids.

Question - Is it possible that people usually have kids when married because it's the expected norm of couples?

[Fortress]

... It's pretty empty coming home to nothing or someone who doesn't care about you. There's nothing like having stability.

I cannot wait, each and every day, to return home to that very emptiness of which you speak, both in a personal and a physical sense. It's my sanctuary.

And for me, stability is best achieved without the drama and constant compromise that exists within the dynamic of a romantic relationship.

I am extremely content being alone.

(If I ever again commit to a woman, she'll have to accept that I do not desire to live with her. It can work: I knew an older gentleman, very educated, who lived separately from his wife, and on weekends, they'd alternate one staying with the other.)  

[Howard]

LOL!
May I suggest the use of electricity for some tresspasser electrocuting lightning flashes?

I had a 500,000 volt Tesla coil ready to go , when the power company cut my power off.

No respect for Zeus...bastards.

[Howard]

Nailed it.

As cliche as it sounds that's why people should always start out as friends. I knew this was different because when something funny would happen that would be the first person I would want to share it with. If I thought about doing something fun that was the first person I contacted to see if he was available

It wasn't about losing freedom but gaining someone to do life with

Also I know a lot of men who have 100's of women at their disposal and while there fun for a while it's pretty empty coming home to nothing or someone who doesn't care about you. There's nothing like having stability especially in a high pressure situation

I can say the same. I should also add I am doing things I never thought I would do but the right person changes things

Good post. I also enjoy sharing my life with a loving, stable person.
You need THAT along with a romantic "spark" or it will never get past being good friends.

[OB1]

I had a 500,000 volt Tesla coil ready to go , when the power company cut my power off.

No respect for Zeus...bastards.

LOL

[Azure]

I cannot wait, each and every day, to return home to that very emptiness of which you speak, both in a personal and physical sense. It's my sanctuary.

And for me, stability is best achieved without the drama and constant compromise that exists within the dynamic of a romantic relationship.

I am extremely content being alone.

(If I ever again commit to a woman, she'll have to accept that I do not desire to live with her. It can work: I knew an older gentleman, very educated, who lived separately from his wife, and on weekends, they'd alternate staying with the other.)  

I know people like this too and it works for them. I know at the very beginning we made a pact to not have our home be a place of drama and craziness. We should want to come home and not stay away.

Like I said I came in during somewhat of a down period so there wasn't any delusional stuff going on. I knew what was up. So many people want to just be there for the good times and aren't even willing to handle the little things and bumps in the roads. I think being friends helped because there was honesty that may not have happened had the romantic intentions been vocalized right off

[Howard]

I know people like this too and it works for them. I know at the very beginning we made a pact to not have our home be a place of drama and craziness. We should want to come home and not stay away.

Like I said I came in during somewhat of a down period so there wasn't any delusional stuff going on. I knew what was up. So many people want to just be there for the good times and aren't even willing to handle the little things and bumps in the roads. I think being friends helped because there was honesty that may not have happened had the romantic intentions been vocalized right off

My wife and I are old farts now and as we creep towards age 60, we enjoy a relaxed lifestyle.
Most days are spent at home doing, simple, wholesome stuff.

[Fortress]

I know people like this too and it works for them. I know at the very beginning we made a pact to not have our home be a place of drama and craziness. We should want to come home and not stay away.

Like I said I came in during somewhat of a down period so there wasn't any delusional stuff going on. I knew what was up. So many people want to just be there for the good times and aren't even willing to handle the little things and bumps in the roads. I think being friends helped because there was honesty that may not have happened had the romantic intentions been vocalized right off

Couples had better be friends above anything else. After being married for decades, any sexual "spark" is LONG gone.

At a certain point, every marriage becomes little more than a live-together partnership. If you're not friends, you're fucked.

It's ridiculous to believe a strong sexual attraction/desire will still exist after you've coupled with the same partner tens of thousands of times. Very occasional intercourse might remain a typical warm embrace, but it won't be much beyond an instance of physical closeness.  

[Primemuscle]

Couples had better be friends above anything else. After being married for decades, any sexual "spark" is LONG gone.

At a certain point, every marriage becomes little more than a live-together partnership. If you're not friends, you're fucked.

It's ridiculous to believe a strong sexual attraction/desire will still exist after you've coupled with the same partner tens of thousands of times. Very occasional intercourse might remain a typical warm embrace, but it won't be much beyond an instance of physical closeness.  

Having been married for 50 years, I have to say you got this right. There are always exceptions though.

[King Shizzo]

Having been married for 50 years, I have to say you got this right. There are always exceptions though.

Sorry about the loss of your wife, Prime. You are a rock for handling it so well.

50 years! What a blessing.

[da_vinci]

I cannot wait, each and every day, to return home to that very emptiness of which you speak, both in a personal and a physical sense. It's my sanctuary.

And for me, stability is best achieved without the drama and constant compromise that exists within the dynamic of a romantic relationship.

I am extremely content being alone.

(If I ever again commit to a woman, she'll have to accept that I do not desire to live with her. It can work: I knew an older gentleman, very educated, who lived separately from his wife, and on weekends, they'd alternate one staying with the other.)  

Lol... exactly. It's funny how different people can be, and how many think it's the same for everyone. I personally LOVE that empiness, that silence, that feeling that I'm alone with myself.

 Regarding sex, I like it, and I' did know at about 20 that no way I'm gonna marry till at least age 35-40, just because it'd drive me crazy to fuck the same female over and over for decades. Good for me - I haven't ever had any issues with finding a girl so it's easy to speak and be careless. Some people are happy to find at least a single partner who'd like to fuck them, I can understand that too. Plenty of ppl who got married that I knew in the past - they did the right thing, just because now they'd not be very succesfull at finding sex.
 People are gullible, tricked by nature and by the lies of society that everyone want to believe (happily ever after), the reality is usualy pretty ugly. The worst is when someone (like dude from my remote family circle), who was married for 27 years and got divorced recently. For another woman, and it took him like four years to man up to do that, he said that he haven't been happy for many years, but was too afraid to change anything. What kind of fukkin remorse must be to waste so many years living a torture.

[Howard]

Sorry about the loss of your wife, Prime. You are a rock for handling it so well.

50 years! What a blessing.

Prime seems like a decent man and I'm sure he dearly loved his wife .
I suspect he misses her greatly and I hope he finds peace in this current life.

[BIG ACH]

As I sit here typing this. My two year old is having a major tantrum lol.... For no apparent reason. I tried to reason with her. Now just ignoring her and letting her cry it out.

This is the part where most people will say "I am never having kids" fun times

[Howard]

As I sit here typing this. My two year old is having a major tantrum lol.... For no apparent reason. I tried to reason with her. Now just ignoring her and letting her cry it out.

This is the part where most people will say "I am never having kids" fun times

Nothing in life is always going to be easy.
I know you're a loving father and cherish your lil' girl.

I'm a bit odd Arch and so  is my wife when it comes to kids, so wtf.
For example, my wife's younger sis adopted a little girl from Mexico and loves being a mom.
My wife and I honestly believe some were called to be parents and those like me were not.

[King Shizzo]

Prime seems like a decent man and I'm sure he dearly loved his wife .
I suspect he misses her greatly and I hope he finds peace in this current life.

I would absolutely crumble. Prime is a better man than I.