Competed at my last show in 2011, and despite having trained the most insane, taking the most drugs i've ever taken for a show, and having my best shape to date, I remember doing my mandatory poses and knowing i was only somewhere in the middle of the pack, that the show would be over in a few hours and what the hell was all this for? I knew the answer was not to go back to the drawing board and take more drugs or train harder...because after all you have to ask yourself what for? What will this bring you in the end? Jack shit...
I tell people that guys who are in the top 10 at the olympia sometimes have a secondary income because the revenue from bodybuilding alone (prize and sponsorship) is a joke... Here I am not even at a national level and i'm ashamed to be doing so much abuse to my body...
The year after my competition I decided to get my gyno fixed with surgery. Two little grape sized lumps came out, and i specifically asked to take a picture of those things and to this day those lumps of gross shit remind me of "what else" could be growing inside. That's a hell of a wake up call in a sense, but it wasn't the only one. You'd have to be blind and retarded to not know this lifestyle is beyond weird, dangerous and never ends well.
One of my good friends is on dialysis 3x a week. (40 yrs old)
Another guy I know won his pro card with his eyes looking sickly and yellow, becasue 6 weeks prior he had been hospitalized for liver toxicity during the prep, but that did not stop him.
Someone else had an abscess drained from his bicep...
And a whole pack of guys who end up in the male-stripping milieu, and become so embarrassed that they fall into taking crystal meth to cope with all the "private sessions" they do with high paying clients. But what's that saying? It's only gay if you want it to be? lol Well it's not gay if it pays the GH i guess....
Lately the realest guy in and around bodybuilding is Luimarco. I enjoy his videos and he knows whats up. Just as soon as he is quick to praise a guys shape at a show, he will make a video to show a suspect lump in his arm or delt, and question what he shoots in there?! It's cool because at least its honest.
At the end of the day, I still train as hard as I can. I realized that you can have a 16-weeks out shape and to 99% of the population you are RIPPED and HUGE... you don't have to torture yourself with excessive dieting and cardio (and drugs) to get the approval of a milieu of a select few in the world of bodybuilding. Especially when it puts you into debt faster than a drug habit, (and likely in a hospital just the same)
