Author Topic: Lied to a girl online about my age. Am actually into her now. What to do? (Read 11021 times)

Danimal77 · « **on:** April 11, 2016, 02:06:03 PM »

So, I sent this girl a message on okcupid. She was into my vibe. We went on a date. It went better than expected. Just had date #5 yesterday and I'm actually into her. Here's the rump though. She's 25 and in her profile, her age range is 24-32. So, on okcupid you can change your age whenever you want (unlike pof) and so I changed my age from 38 (my actual age) to 32 so that I could make her cutoff. Now that things are going well, WHEN and HOW would you bring it up? I mean shit could seriously backfire on my ass and go down really badly if it's brought up at the wrong time, in a bad context, or in a bad way. Only serious suggestions are welcome.

Parker · « **Reply #1 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:07:53 PM »

Quote from: Danimal77 on April 11, 2016, 02:06:03 PM

So, I sent this girl a message on okcupid. She was into my vibe. We went on a date. It went better than expected. Just had date #5 yesterday and I'm actually into her. Here's the rump though. She's 25 and in her profile, her age range is 24-32. So, on okcupid you can change your age whenever you want (unlike pof) and so I changed my age from 38 (my actual age) to 32 so that I could make her cutoff. Now that things are going well, WHEN and HOW would you bring it up? I mean shit could seriously backfire on my ass and go down really badly if it's brought up at the wrong time, in a bad context, or in a bad way. Only serious suggestions are welcome.

Is she really 25 or is she 30? You know women do just the same as you did.

Danimal77 · « **Reply #2 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:08:32 PM »

Quote from: Parker on April 11, 2016, 02:07:53 PM

Is she really 25 or is she 30? You know women do just the same as you did.

She's actually 25. Checked out her facebook.

Zillotch · « **Reply #3 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:08:47 PM »

Fuck......... you're a loser.

Coffeed · « **Reply #4 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:10:35 PM »

Why don't you level with her...

Let her know that you've settled and you really prefer girls in highschool.

SF1900 · « **Reply #5 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:10:50 PM »

Youre kind of screwed. She will see this as you lying to her from the get-go. And the longer you wait, the worst its going to get. If you are going to tell her, tell her asap.

On the other hand, if you tell her a year from now, it may not matter to her, if she really likes you--she may look passed the fact that you lied. On the contrary, if she really wants kid, she may see you as too old to have kids with and leave you, thus you just wasted a whole year.

So moral of the story: tell her asap.

polychronopolous · « **Reply #6 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:12:49 PM »

Don't tell her.

Take the secret all the way to the grave.

Parker · « **Reply #7 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:13:40 PM »

Quote from: Danimal77 on April 11, 2016, 02:08:32 PM

She's actually 25. Checked out her facebook.

Welp, liar, liar...

Rascal full · « **Reply #8 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:14:13 PM »

Mate, the way I would play it is thus.

'I have something to tell you which has being weighing really heavy on my heart but I just have to tell you. The thing is when I saw your profile and you were so beautiful and then we've been on lovely dates together which I've really enjoyed and I genuinely think we have a connection. I really hope you can forgive me but I said I was younger than I am to get the opportunity to speak to you but I never could have dreamed things would feel so right between us and I feel terrible for not being totally honest. I am 38 and I promise if you can forgive me I will never lie to you from this day forward'....

Good luck brother with whatever you decide to say.

Danimal77 · « **Reply #9 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:17:00 PM »

Quote from: Rascal full on April 11, 2016, 02:14:13 PM

Mate, the way I would play it is thus.

'I have something to tell you which has being weighing really heavy on my heart but I just have to tell you. The thing is when I saw your profile and you were so beautiful and then we've been on lovely dates together which I've really enjoyed and I genuinely think we have a connection. I really hope you can forgive me but I said I was younger than I am to get the opportunity to speak to you but I never could have dreamed things would feel so right between us and I feel terrible for not being totally honest. I am 38 and I promise if you can forgive me I will never lie to you from this day forward'....

Good luck brother with whatever you decide to say.

That's exactly what I was thinking of doing. It will have to be a face to face. Honestly, yesterday was the perfect opportunity. We spent the entire day together. I should have seized the moment then and there.

Walter Sobchak · « **Reply #10 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:17:31 PM »

Quote from: Danimal77 on April 11, 2016, 02:06:03 PM

So, I sent this girl a message on okcupid. She was into my vibe. We went on a date. It went better than expected. Just had date #5 yesterday and I'm actually into her. Here's the rump though. She's 25 and in her profile, her age range is 24-32. So, on okcupid you can change your age whenever you want (unlike pof) and so I changed my age from 38 (my actual age) to 32 so that I could make her cutoff. Now that things are going well, WHEN and HOW would you bring it up? I mean shit could seriously backfire on my ass and go down really badly if it's brought up at the wrong time, in a bad context, or in a bad way. Only serious suggestions are welcome.

Don't tell her.

Fuck her for a while and move on before she gets a chance to ruin your life.

Danimal77 · « **Reply #11 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:19:44 PM »

Quote from: SF1900 on April 11, 2016, 02:10:50 PM

Youre kind of screwed. She will see this as you lying to her from the get-go. And the longer you wait, the worst its going to get. If you are going to tell her, tell her asap.

On the other hand, if you tell her a year from now, it may not matter to her, if she really likes you--she may look passed the fact that you lied. On the contrary, if she really wants kid, she may see you as too old to have kids with and leave you, thus you just wasted a whole year.

So moral of the story: tell her asap.

She wants kids by 30.

DroppingPlates · « **Reply #12 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:21:45 PM »

Tell it once you're fed up with her

SF1900 · « **Reply #13 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:21:55 PM »

Quote from: Parker on April 11, 2016, 02:13:40 PM

Welp, liar, liar...

How is she a liar? He profile on the dating site says 25 and that is what her FB says.

SF1900 · « **Reply #14 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:23:04 PM »

Quote from: Danimal77 on April 11, 2016, 02:19:44 PM

She wants kids by 30.

Are you okay with having kids up until you're 43? She may not be okay with that.

Danimal77 · « **Reply #15 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:29:41 PM »

Quote from: SF1900 on April 11, 2016, 02:23:04 PM

Are you okay with having kids up until you're 43? She may not be okay with that.

5 years down the line would be good with me. I don't feel the pressure that way.

My gut is telling me she won't react horribly. She IS into older guys. Had she found this out prior to having met me, it could have been a deal breaker, but I can tell that she's into me, so she'll find a way to rationalize it to herself. Her gf's (who are single) may try and change her mind though.

michael arvilla · « **Reply #16 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:39:47 PM »

I did the same thing ( Laura) told her I was 37 when I was really 47... ( she found out when I had to go to the emergency room and they asked " date of birth " and without thinking I said "1963" ) ..: she was pissed but got over it ( once they are into you it's kind of too late/ you wouldn't have even had a shot with this chick if you didn't lie about your age) let it ride ....

Grape Ape · « **Reply #17 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:40:02 PM »

Quote from: Danimal77 on April 11, 2016, 02:29:41 PM

5 years down the line would be good with me. I don't feel the pressure that way.

My gut is telling me she won't react horribly. She IS into older guys. Had she found this out prior to having met me, it could have been a deal breaker, but I can tell that she's into me, so she'll find a way to rationalize it to herself. Her gf's (who are single) may try and change her mind though.

Never bring it up.

If you get bagged, act like it was a typo.

Voice of Doom · « **Reply #18 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:50:28 PM »

Tell her but don't explain why...it makes you look weak and puts the leverage in the relationship on her side. Plus she'll think you're mysterious and dangerous.

Danimal77 · « **Reply #19 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:53:55 PM »

Quote from: michael arvilla on April 11, 2016, 02:39:47 PM

I did the same thing ( Laura) told her I was 37 when I was really 47... ( she found out when I had to go to the emergency room and they asked " date of birth " and without thinking I said "1963" ) ..: she was pissed but got over it ( once they are into you it's kind of too late/ you wouldn't have even had a shot with this chick if you didn't lie about your age) let it ride ....

Okay so you're saying don't bring it up? She'll eventually find out man. She even sent me a facebook friend invite this morning (After yesterdays great date). She'll see my friends (and how older they are), my sisters ages, etc... She'll put 2 and 2 together. Haven't yet accepted the friend invite though. My excuse is that I don't really use facebook, which is legit.

Danimal77 · « **Reply #20 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:55:06 PM »

Quote from: Voice of Doom on April 11, 2016, 02:50:28 PM

Tell her but don't explain why...it makes you look weak and puts the leverage in the relationship on her side. Plus she'll think you're mysterious and dangerous.

What wording would you choose?

Tha Grim Lifter · « **Reply #21 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:57:42 PM »

Who needs to say shit? You'll get over her shit eventually just lie until then.

Henda · « **Reply #22 on:** April 11, 2016, 02:59:59 PM »

Just tell her you forgot your actual age, I always forget mone and have to ask wor lass how old I am whenever it falls in the middle of the range ie 22 to 28, 32 to 38 ect

Conker · « **Reply #23 on:** April 11, 2016, 03:00:44 PM »

just gotta keep up the lie now. meet her see what happens, she may rumble you and not want to see you again. she may rumble you and think fk it if she likes you anyway. she may not rumble(depending how you look for your age).

don't tell her till after you've banged her a few times (if you get that far).

illuminati · « **Reply #24 on:** April 11, 2016, 03:03:58 PM »

If she likes / is into you - is 6yrs That Big of a Deal Breaker.
Would she like you more if you was really 32.??

Tell her your age - Say you put 32 to get a chance to message / speak
With her as you believed you would both get on - & you do.

Her age limit setting would of prevented you getting together.
Tell her now or there could be the chance she thinks you were
Doing it deliberately to just fuck younger women.