is it because you look the same maybe?
No. 4-5k cals a day for the past couple months.
Anyway, threads like this just made me sad. To see some guy torturing himself in an endless, futile pursuit... I find it nauseating.
No one eats 1000 - 2000 calories a day long term. Only for a short while to 'prep for a show', in which one is physically and mentally weak from prolonged starvation.
Gal and no one tried to sell people on the idea that their results were sustainable, at least that was my impression. But they're not. No one can hide behind the stims forever.
Once you pop, you can either return to reality or get back in there and dive down the rabbit hole again, and again, and again.
You need to let go of the image if you ever want to escape the cycle.