How many times a day do you fart?

[nzmusclemonster]

The average person farts 14 times a day

[Army of One]

No idea, ill start counting reps and get back to you

[WannaBePro]

No idea, ill start counting repsrips and get back to you

Fixed.

[d0nny2600]

Too many..I have started photographing my farts for memories.

[Yamcha]

DFE (Daily Fart Emissions) = Pie * R (radius of anus) * -F (Fiber Intake in Grams) * Howard ^ 3

[El Diablo Blanco]

I'd pay good money to have this fart in my face 14 times a day

[Fortress]

Hell, I blow ass 14 times each and every hour.

Good times

[Spike]

Hell, I blow ass 14 times each and every hour.

Good times

All McDonald's , trans fat, old ketchup and onions

[240 is Back]

depends.

If I"m working in a cubicle with a hot female co-worker, I have to drop ass about 75 times a day, because I spend the whole day worrying about it.   One small butt burp becomes a series of massive air blasts, if it's held in.

If I'm working alone at home, I'll do the whole day without it, just because. 

[FREAKgeek]

Get some cheap protein powder, some broccoli, and a carbonated beverage. That should settle you down.

[SquatsRule]

6 Farts per day for strength. 8-10 farts per day for development. 15 farts per day for cardio purposes.

[MAXX]

depends.

If I"m working in a cubicle with a hot female co-worker, I have to drop ass about 75 times a day, because I spend the whole day worrying about it.   One small butt burp becomes a series of massive air blasts, if it's held in.

If I'm working alone at home, I'll do the whole day without it, just because.  

Funny how that works. I've had the same problem working at offices. I Think the secret is to relax your butthole and pretend you're working next to some fat geezer. Think about it, If the butthole is relaxed you naturally let it breathe out gasses without hearing or smelling, just a constant stream. But, if you keep tight the gasses will collect and eventually you need to rip one badly and have to struggle to keep it in. This is my theory anyways. Luckily I have a changing room downstairs for men where I can go and rip some major gas.

[Grape Ape]

Funny how that works. I Think the secret is to relax your butthole and pretend you're working next to some fat geezer. Think about it, If the butthole is relaxed you naturally let it breathe out gasses without hearing or smelling, just a constant stream. But if you keep tight the gasses will collect and eventually you need to rip one badly and have to struggle to keep it in. This is my theory anyways. Luckily I have a changing room downstairs for men where I can go and rip some major gas.

So you're an expert at relaxing your butthole, eh?

[MAXX]

So you're an expert at relaxing your butthole, eh?

yeah learned from the best, your dad

[Fortress]

Nothing worse than being on a date with some cute broad and for whatever reason you become Captain Gasman. Not only that, your shitpipe fumes are smelly in ways not yet experienced.

So you hold them warheads in, and soon your insides begin to swell to dangerous proportions.

[HTexan]

GF says i fart in my sleep.
But, during the day, i'm guessing 0-10 depending at what i eat and how stressful my day has been.

[240 is Back]

GF says i fart in my sleep.
But, during the day, i'm guessing 0-10 depending at what i eat and how stressful my day has been.

I have a nice bed in the office, as well as in the bedroom.   So those nights when I'm feeling windy, I just accidentally work late and crash in here    I keep very late hours and sleep in, so she's none the wiser. 

Nothing worse than being on a date with some cute broad and for whatever reason you become Captain Gasman. Not only that, your shitpipe fumes are smelly in ways not yet experienced.
So you hold them warheads in, and soon your insides begin to swell to dangerous proportions.

If I"m going to be working a corporate duo with an uber hot female singer, or any other arrangement where I'm working with a female all day long, I'll alter the diet to ensure I don't load up on banana smoothies before I head in.  If it's all bros, screw them, I'm cropdusting them without mercy.

[HTexan]

I have a nice bed in the office, as well as in the bedroom.   So those nights when I'm feeling windy, I just accidentally work late and crash in here    I keep very late hours and sleep in, so she's none the wiser. 

I don't care I just fart if she is around. 

[240 is Back]

I don't care I just fart if she is around. 

I've had girlfriends that wanted me to pee on them.   Dirty freak stuff.   I'd change that subject.  Wifey, I just can't go with the door open.  We had a big debate here years ago.  Arvilla said he'd drop a deuce with the door open, mid-conversation.   Said we should man up.   Disgusted, a getbig legend and training guru to the stars, said the door stays shut no matter how long you've been with a girl.
 

[Nails]

[Fortress]

There's no better way to kill a relationship buzz than to expose each other to the unpleasantries of human function.

Southern women believe a man should never enter her bathroom when she's doing her things. It retains mystery and her dignity.

I would never just start blasting anal vapours in the presence of my girl. Nor would I allow her into a washroom when I'm firing chocolate torpedoes.

If my lady ever requested I piss on her or whatnot, that union would be over, period.

[HTexan]

I've had girlfriends that wanted me to pee on them.   Dirty freak stuff.   I'd change that subject.  Wifey, I just can't go with the door open.  We had a big debate here years ago.  Arvilla said he'd drop a deuce with the door open, mid-conversation.   Said we should man up.   Disgusted, a getbig legend and training guru to the stars, said the door stays shut no matter how long you've been with a girl.
 

Never been with a female that wanted to be R Kellyed. Though, I have pissed on a bitch in the shower because she was getting on my nerves.  
Anyway, my GF goes with the door open. I close and even fucking lock the door sometimes, force of habit. I was raise in a big family. She was an only child. She bitched about it once, I ask her why does she want to see me poop? She couldn't answer. I never heard about it again.

[Army of One]

6 Farts per day for strength. 8-10 farts per day for development. 15 farts per day for cardio purposes.

1 fart a day would literally give you the best strength fart

[El Diablo Blanco]

1 fart a day would literally give you the best strength fart

The Galeniko principles state that a constant flow of farts daily builds functional strength similar to forearms on a roofer.

[deadz]

Depends on my diet.