Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger

[Thong Maniac]

just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath

[Wiggs]

Overcome fear of confrontation. Let them talk but never show your hand, act accordingly and use all available resources. In that order.

[Thong Maniac]

Overcome fear of confrontation. Let them talk but never show your hand, act accordingly and use all available resources. In that order.

thanks for the advice, but how do u overcome the fear of confrontation? 

[Chacka]

never show your hand

THIS

[Army of One]

Have sex with the husband to assert dominance

[Andy Griffin]

just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath

Be totally passive-aggressive.

Shy away from them in public but order tons of gay pr0n and have it sent to their address.  Also create fake FB pages in their names and target local black men online, referring to them as "boy" , "jigaboo" , and such while at the same time expressing curiosity of this whole "cuckolding" thing.  Visit websites of local businesses and leave incendiary comments in these people's names.  

Proactive steps like this can help end conflict quickly.  You're welcome.

[Tapeworm]

Excuse yourself from uninvited conversations by saying you've got a lot to do.  If they're making demands that you cut your grass 1/4" shorter so it looks like theirs etc, simply say you'll think about it and, again, make an exit.  Hopefully they'll take the hint and quit hassling.  If things get really unpleasant, or you think they might, document everything with dates and send all communication through a lawyer, but this will get costly.

There's no magic words that makes pain in the ass people suddenly stop being pains in the ass and confrontations/heel digging are only going to add fuel to the fire.  Sorry they live next door to you.  The difference between a good neighbor and a bad one is about 500 yards imo.  If you successfully murder these two and get away with it, what's to stop the next two being equally pesky?  Move out of the suburbs.

[Andy Griffin]

Just fucking man up and speak your mind. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Your father would probably slap you across the head and shake his head at you. You're going to let some old fucks tell you what to do? You fucking low test or something?

You have given the best advice of all.  While I attempted to help the OP work within his self-imposed limitations, you did the kindest thing by telling him to man the fuck up.  Well done, sir.

[The True Adonis]

just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath

Give me some examples of what you are doing that they don't like and I will tell you the truth of what you can or should do.

[cephissus]

Just fucking man up and speak your mind. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Your father would probably slap you across the head and shake his head at you. You're going to let some old fucks tell you what to do? You fucking low test or something?

So what if he is?  Still a case of 'just manning up'

[Thong Maniac]

Give me some examples of what you are doing that they don't like and I will tell you the truth of what you can or should do.

calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.

[Wiggs]

Consider the use of Hegelian Dialectic tactics, false flags, neurolinguistic programming and other advanced strategies.

[Andy Griffin]

Consider the use of Hegelian Dialectic tactics, false flags, neurolinguistic programming and other advanced strategies.

Or just egg his house. 

[Tapeworm]

Bunch of confrontational neighbors in this thread more worried about soothing a bruised ego than being left in peace.

This is not a man-up scenario.  This is a distance yourself from the loony who is still going to be there tomorrow and have him accept the distancing scenario.  Kicking off a feud is nothing but stupid.  The mission is to be left the fuck alone, not to create a battle so you can win it.

That said, it depends what they're doing.  How exactly are they accosting you?  Are they knocking on your door?  Some line drawing may be called for.  Politely.  "I'm very busy here so please don't disturb me by knocking on my door in the future.  No I don't have any time to talk.  Have a nice day."  That's better than being the roid ragey gymrat who screamed bloody murder at the sweet old couple, which is how everyone will view it if you lose your shit.  And better than petty retaliation like knocking on their door in return.  Ignore when you can.  Shoo when you must.

I strive for a nodding acquaintanceship with neighbors.  Good morning.  Good afternoon.  Good day to you then.  I don't want to know your name or your story.

calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.

There's your answer.  "Yes, that would be a lamp in my house.  I'm very busy here so please don't call again.  Thanks.  Bye bye now."

[Dave D]

calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.

Bro you won't win with people like this. They have severe and deep rooted control issues. Nothing you do will satisfy them, if you realize this fact you can plan accordingly.

Being anti confrontational can sucks but the good news is that they're older ( I think I read this) and basically powerless. This couple is a good way to start being confrontational in a non agressive manner .

 They perceive your kindness and youth as a weakness, remind them it's not. You're an adult and you will be treated with respect. If they call or complain again kindly suggest they buy curtains or shades as its very disturbing to you that they'd be looking into your windows at night. 

I'd leave the lamp on until they get the hint. Good luck.

[Never1AShow]

Have a friend dress up in a dark suit and knock on their door pretending to do a background check on you for a very prestigious government position that requires a re-up of your security clearance.  Have him say, I can't tell you exactly what the position is, but you should feel very happy and safe to have a guy like that as your neighbor.  He also could probe them for any dirt on you.

[K-1]

thanks for the advice, but how do u overcome the fear of confrontation? 

Sweep the leg!

No Mercy!

Do you have a problem with that?

[Wiggs]

Or just egg his house. 

 

[spiro]

I have similar issues about confrontation I don't enjoy it. But you are in the right these people sound like assholes You aren't doing anything to purposely bother these people. They are harassing you. When you are in the right it will give you more courage. Don't think about what you are going to say. The more spontaneous the better you will do.

[Marty Champions]

just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath

your aggrivated as fuck thinking the "right" or perfect thing to say
i drink to come up with genious shit because you cant deal with dumbasses and assholes sober because its more challenging when sober

[Marty Champions]

Just fucking man up and speak your mind. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Your father would probably slap you across the head and shake his head at you. You're going to let some old fucks tell you what to do? You fucking low test or something?

doesnt work speaking my natural sober mind id say fuck u u dumb guy bitch i want to kick ur ass

[calfzilla]

calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.

Post pics of her tits ASAP

[drkaje]

Just fucking man up and speak your mind. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Your father would probably slap you across the head and shake his head at you. You're going to let some old fucks tell you what to do? You fucking low test or something?

You're a 1%er, FroZZoR.

Only 1% of advice given on this site is worth a fuck.

[Marty Champions]

trust me i know how to deal with lowlifes who act like they got nothin 2 lose

get a easy buzz go over say what r u doin boy? then apoligize ask for some beer then say naw im kidden i got one more 4 u n 12 more for me if he wont drink leave him alone

if he accepts drinking you proceed to intimidate him indirectly in a friendly way, ask if they need help with anything theyll say no . tell them u used 2 have the state record in in this n that ask if they need hel p be repetive and drunk but be robust hyper and strong people respect that tell him your the man bro , ask are you alright? do u want a beer? ask him for 2 dollars for beer

hell either be your friend or he will avoid you.....win win

[Walter Sobchak]

just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath

Really?

Let's start with question #1....why do they have your phone number?

Then we will move on to discussing why you're such a pussy