Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger

[The Abdominal Snoman]

thanks for the advice, but how do u overcome the fear of confrontation? 

Put up a vinyl fence you can't see through at the cities max height. Than plant 20 foot tall evergreens...And never allow him in your yard. If and when he bitches about the evergreens, call the police and have them come out. Tell the cops he threatened you if you didn't take them down. Just say he said-you better take them down or else. Tell them that your wife or girl saw him do a slashing motion across his neck. But you didn't see it. Tell them you want a restraining order against him .

[The Abdominal Snoman]

Consider the use of Hegelian Dialectic tactics, false flags, neurolinguistic programming and other advanced strategies.

lolz

[The Abdominal Snoman]

Send him this letter

I don't take kindly to disrespect. not on the internet, not in person, not in a grocery store parking lot, not in like at walmart, not in a restaurant, not at the beach, not at the dry cleaners... anywhere.

ppl talk about the 'pussyfication' of America, yet they run their mouths thinking they won't get slapped and get their arm broken in front of their friends.

spent many yrs in a place where if you talk slick and say something out of line to somebody, you know that when you say it, you better be ready for what happens. most ppl here in the 'real world', aren't ready for what could happen.. and run their mouths like the world is a make believe cartoon. despite wearing nice slacks, polished shoes and a nice shirt, the guy you steal that parking spot from at the grocery store and proceed to flip off, may have just gotten out of prison and will have no problem identifying they bitch in you and proceed to teach you a lesson by taking you down to the ground and kicking out your teeth before you even know what happened.

the guy who's willing to go the furthest, wins. if you're not willing to go all the way, it's best you keep your mouth shut and move on, and make it to the next day.


                                                             ---Your Neighbor

[BIG DUB]

Put up a vinyl fence you can't see through at the cities max height. Than plant 20 foot tall evergreens...And never allow him in your yard. If and when he bitches about the evergreens, call the police and have them come out. Tell the cops he threatened you if you didn't take them down. Just say he said-you better take them down or else. Tell them that your wife or girl saw him do a slashing motion across his neck. But you didn't see it. Tell them you want a restraining order against him .

 

[calfzilla]

You already know how Craig Titus would handle this.

[Bossa]

When it comes to neighbours the old adage "familiarity breeds contempt" is exactly why I leave it at a brief hello.

As for dealing with people like this you just need to learn to tell someone to fuck off (while not actually saying that) with a big smile on your face, maybe while feigning concern.  for example to the call you could have said "oh is your insomnia age related? I understand its difficult to sleep through the night when you are older I remember my grandparents going through this.  Perhaps you should look into melatonin."  then say you have to go and end the conversation.  That way you have disregarded their ridiculousness and pointed out that maybe they are the one with the problem.  Or you could just laugh it off and make a comment about your hydro bill.  Unfortunately because they are your neighbours you will have to be somewhat cordial...at first.  Just do not apologize if you haven't done anything wrong like so many people do today.

If that doesn't work then I would just come out and say you don't have time for their nonsense....something to the effect are you calling me because I left a light on in my own home?  I hear home depot has a sale on blinds right now have a nice day.

Failing that just leave a burning bag of dog shit on their door step billy Madison style  

[Master Blaster]

Just do whatever they say.

[Wiggs]

Just do whatever they say.

lol

[Master Blaster]

lol

 

[C-BuZz]

Could not imagine living life as such a beta. Must really suck to be you.

Seriously, what's the worst he's going to do if you tell him to go fuck himself? Hopefully punch you in the face for being such a beta.

[Kim Jong Bob]

thanks for the advice, but how do u overcome the fear of confrontation?  

just ignore them when they bitch about something if you have a fear of confrpntation.... People like that love when ptherxpeople react to there complaints they live for that so you have only two choiches ignore them or do like i did to my mothers neighbour who was like that - threaten to kill them

[Henda]

Once a neighbour who was an absolute jerk had reported us for some shit that I can't remember so one Saturday night I pissed through their letterbox, a day or so later his lass wrote a letter to our lass wanting to put everything behind them. Later it flared up again and had to threaten him with battering him, and from then on made a point of loudly mocking him when I was in the back garden. I know I sound like a wanker here but this fat fuck got in wor lasses face shouting when I was at work one day and was just downright creepy

[Kwon]

calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.

Then tell them/her to get darker curtains or use sleepingpills.

Or just build a HUGE fence so they can't see in on your side

[irishdave]

Do they have a dog? I like dogs but if you want to scare them into backing off - quickest and easiest solution is to cut off the dog's head and leave it at the back door

[DroppingPlates]

thanks for the advice, but how do u overcome the fear of confrontation? 

By not giving a piss about the possible outcome. Just stay calm, don't hold your breath, keep your head up, look them straight into the eyes and tell them respectfully what's on your mind without a sea words.

[Army of One]

Post this question up on Jason Blahas YouTube, and ask him to make a video on it, I'd like to see his thoughts.

[d0nny2600]

Giving out about a light on inside your house?

Go out and purchase many disco lights. Put these on all night in the rooms you aren't sleeping in. Repeat this until they get the picture.

If that fails go shit on their lawn.

[Thong Maniac]

When it comes to neighbours the old adage "familiarity breeds contempt" is exactly why I leave it at a brief hello.

As for dealing with people like this you just need to learn to tell someone to fuck off (while not actually saying that) with a big smile on your face, maybe while feigning concern.  for example to the call you could have said "oh is your insomnia age related? I understand its difficult to sleep through the night when you are older I remember my grandparents going through this.  Perhaps you should look into melatonin."  then say you have to go and end the conversation.  That way you have disregarded their ridiculousness and pointed out that maybe they are the one with the problem.  Or you could just laugh it off and make a comment about your hydro bill.  Unfortunately because they are your neighbours you will have to be somewhat cordial...at first.  Just do not apologize if you haven't done anything wrong like so many people do today.

If that doesn't work then I would just come out and say you don't have time for their nonsense....something to the effect are you calling me because I left a light on in my own home?  I hear home depot has a sale on blinds right now have a nice day.

Failing that just leave a burning bag of dog shit on their door step billy Madison style  

i think this is likely the best apporach. have you had to do this as well? i will be respectful as possible but just like u said it "hey Will, im busy now, feel free to write me a letter addressing your concerns" with a kind of passive aggressiveness approach. right?


as for Donny, yeah that sounds good in practice with the disco light but wouldnt that just create more rage to the point where their life mission becomes to find shit wrong with you or against code, and press those issues from a more legal standpoint?

other getbiggers, thanks for the reply here this has definitely been helpful to me.

i will be putting up a fence as well, which may cause even more issues and animosity unfortunately.

[Thong Maniac]

Bunch of confrontational neighbors in this thread more worried about soothing a bruised ego than being left in peace.

This is not a man-up scenario.  This is a distance yourself from the loony who is still going to be there tomorrow and have him accept the distancing scenario.  Kicking off a feud is nothing but stupid.  The mission is to be left the fuck alone, not to create a battle so you can win it.

That said, it depends what they're doing.  How exactly are they accosting you?  Are they knocking on your door?  Some line drawing may be called for.  Politely.  "I'm very busy here so please don't disturb me by knocking on my door in the future.  No I don't have any time to talk.  Have a nice day."  That's better than being the roid ragey gymrat who screamed bloody murder at the sweet old couple, which is how everyone will view it if you lose your shit.  And better than petty retaliation like knocking on their door in return.  Ignore when you can.  Shoo when you must.

I strive for a nodding acquaintanceship with neighbors.  Good morning.  Good afternoon.  Good day to you then.  I don't want to know your name or your story.

There's your answer.  "Yes, that would be a lamp in my house.  I'm very busy here so please don't call again.  Thanks.  Bye bye now."

thanks Tape, this sounds good to me as well

[drkaje]

Fences make good neighbors.

If they ask just say "I got tired of listening to you bitch" and be done with it.

Passive/aggressive is bullshit and the target usually doesn't give a fuck about you or anything else aside from getting their way.

[Conker]

calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.

start playing really loud heavy metal music late at night, when they come and complain apologise to them but explain you were abused as a child and to get to sleep you either need to leave a light on or listen to loud music. then offer them the choice of which they'd prefer.

failing that just tell them to go fk themselves.

[R.A.M.]

man you came to the wrong place for advice.  ..

I'd kidnap them and beat them with a pillow case full of door knobs.

[Grape Ape]

man you came to the wrong place for advice.  ..

I'd kidnap them and beat them with a pillow case full of door knobs.

I wouldn't fill it.  Would not leave enough pillow case to grip and be awkward to swing.   I think 1-4 door knobs would do.

[Bossa]

i think this is likely the best apporach. have you had to do this as well? i will be respectful as possible but just like u said it "hey Will, im busy now, feel free to write me a letter addressing your concerns" with a kind of passive aggressiveness approach. right?


as for Donny, yeah that sounds good in practice with the disco light but wouldnt that just create more rage to the point where their life mission becomes to find shit wrong with you or against code, and press those issues from a more legal standpoint?

other getbiggers, thanks for the reply here this has definitely been helpful to me.

i will be putting up a fence as well, which may cause even more issues and animosity unfortunately.

Its not passive aggressive you need to use a firm tone while not being overly rude and DO NOT get in to letters that is way too formal. It comes down to being nice until someone stops affording you the same treatment.  In this case they have obviously aggravated you so I would keep my distance, wave when you see them but the next time they call you tell them to come see you in person if there is an issue but not to waste your time with petty nonsense like an interior light that is not their concern.  

For the fence I would TELL them you are building one ahead of time and ask if they would like to pay half as that is the proper way to do it. if they say no but try to argue or give input just tell them you are letting them know it is being built and its not up for debate and walk away.  Just make sure you build it in from the property line so legally they can't say anything if it comes down to it.

[d0nny2600]

as for Donny, yeah that sounds good in practice with the disco light but wouldnt that just create more rage to the point where their life mission becomes to find shit wrong with you or against code, and press those issues from a more legal standpoint?

other getbiggers, thanks for the reply here this has definitely been helpful to me.

i will be putting up a fence as well, which may cause even more issues and animosity unfortunately.

Sorry man I wasn't really being helpful. Honestly I would have told them to fuck off.
I'm not sure what outcome you want? You can either abide by their rules and let them dictate what you do or tell them to fuck off and worry about something else.