Women usually bash superior looking women calling them losers/hos/insecure bitches/overcompesating for shitty personality/etc.
Just too much generalization imo. I just started using again at 24 after taking 4 years off. Juiced from 18-20 nonstop. Started for the wrong reasons just like you. But after getting settled down and getting a good job,buying a house,etc I came full circle and realized I really enjoyed lifting and im back on gear,not to compensate but to enhance the experience.
I was happy and confident at 5'9 150 lbs off gear and im just as happy 40 lbs heavier and back on lol. Nothing to do with overcompensating or being a loser. Sounds like you are projecting tbh
see , thats the thing about juicers, 5'9 and 190 lbs of stocky muscle thinking every one is "jealous" of him, because ppl dnt approve of their drug use.
you can't understand why its looked down upon and thats fine , but a major part is because you gotta stick needles in your self to maintain those 190 lbs, because without them you are 140 lbs, and ppl know that.