Author Topic: Don't get married  (Read 7249 times)

The Abdominal Snoman

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #25 on: July 17, 2016, 01:00:43 PM »
If you're happily married and all your friends are happily married, your friends don't trust you enough to tell you the truth of whats really going on in their house. Their not telling you about the side pieces they have or that they think the wife has...

Thin Lizzy

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #26 on: July 17, 2016, 01:02:02 PM »
When you consider the 50% divorce rate and then consider the percentage of the 50% who stay together, for one reason or another, but aren't happy, it's hard not to conclude that most Marriages don't have a happy ending.

The Abdominal Snoman

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #27 on: July 17, 2016, 01:12:45 PM »
Some of the most brilliant men who walked planet Earth couldn't understand women. Why? Because emotionally women as a whole are bi/polar mentally ill. And brilliant men understand that it's wasted energy with extremely low diminishing returns. Men who think they're in very healthy marriages simply are use to putting up with nonsense and in most cases just play the father figure to their childlike mate...It's an ego thing for these guys. The  smarter women who want to stay married know how to stroke the ego of their husband and let him think he's the "man of the house" and everything is great. They slide into the role that the husband expects them to be in...

Howard

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #28 on: July 17, 2016, 01:49:20 PM »
If you're not going to have kids, there's really no reason at all to get married.  Unless she is loaded.

Having kids is the main cause of stress and strife in most marriages.
I never had 'em and never had a horrible experience getting divorced.
My wife and  often joke about the sorry state of affairs most married with children are in.
I've seen plenty of successful men that marry a woman and she becomes a mom and everything changes.

Plus, you need to marry someone with an equal career.
For example, my ex-wife was a board certified psychologist  with a PhD and good career.
When we divorced , we each took our car, sold the townhouse , had separate credit cards and split.
No hard feelings, no debt owed either way.

So why get married ?
Love , companionship and partnership.

My (current) wife is a  senior VP executive of her section at a major bank
I was a college physics teacher and just retired.
We are both previously divorced and neither of us had kids.

By combining our assets were have been able to obtain more then being single.
Plus, she's my best friend and we love sharing a simple, wholesome lifestyle.
It's a cold , lonely world and it's nice to spend my life with a loving partner at my side.

For my wife and I ,  our lifestyle with marriage as loving, equal partners, works.
BUT, for those younger guys I'd advise against any form of traditional marriage with children.
Stay single unless you meet a decent woman you're attracted to ,  who can also be your best friend.

AGAIN, don't have kids unless you really  feel called to be a parent.


Howard

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #29 on: July 17, 2016, 01:56:41 PM »
If you're happily married and all your friends are happily married, your friends don't trust you enough to tell you the truth of whats really going on in their house. Their not telling you about the side pieces they have or that they think the wife has...

I agree and know plenty of couples that have zero passion for their spouse.
My wife and I always wonder why the fuk do they remain married.

One of her co-workers admitted his marriage sucked while drinking at an office Christmas party.
He went on to tell us, they haven't had sex in over 7 years and rarely talk.
I asked him why he stayed married and he said it was for his kids.
Wow, that's pathetic and while it's a drastic example, his loveless marriage with kids is common.

bigkid

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #30 on: July 17, 2016, 02:07:25 PM »
Having kids is the main cause of stress and strife in most marriages.
I never had 'em and never had a horrible experience getting divorced.
My wife and  often joke about the sorry state of affairs most married with children are in.
I've seen plenty of successful men that marry a woman and she becomes a mom and everything changes.

Plus, you need to marry someone with an equal career.
For example, my ex-wife was a board certified psychologist  with a PhD and good career.
When we divorced , we each took our car, sold the townhouse , had separate credit cards and split.
No hard feelings, no debt owed either way.

So why get married ?
Love , companionship and partnership.

My (current) wife is a  senior VP executive of her section at a major bank
I was a college physics teacher and just retired.
We are both previously divorced and neither of us had kids.

By combining our assets were have been able to obtain more then being single.
Plus, she's my best friend and we love sharing a simple, wholesome lifestyle.
It's a cold , lonely world and it's nice to spend my life with a loving partner at my side.

For my wife and I ,  our lifestyle with marriage as loving, equal partners, works.
BUT, for those younger guys I'd advise against any form of traditional marriage with children.
Stay single unless you meet a decent woman you're attracted to ,  who can also be your best friend.

AGAIN, don't have kids unless you really  feel called to be a parent.


You can have love, companionship and partnership with a long term GF.  Plenty of people do it.   It sounds like you married someone with more money then you.  So that's advantageous for you.

Primemuscle

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #31 on: July 17, 2016, 02:08:50 PM »
aw man, i'm so sorry to hear that.  I think I remember chatting with you about the kidney thing while a family member of mine was battling kidney disease, I think you were engaged in that battle at the time for her.  It's an amazing thing to have that kind of connection for 50 years.

She put up a brave fight. She also decided when it was time to let go. She was a woman of great strength and conviction.

Howard

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #32 on: July 17, 2016, 02:11:26 PM »
She put up a brave fight. She also decided when it was time to let go. She was a woman of great strength and conviction.

I think  remember seeing some post from you on this issue.
It goes without saying, I am very sorry for your loss and hope you find some peace .
Take care and God Bless my friend.

Primemuscle

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #33 on: July 17, 2016, 02:12:23 PM »
You can have love, companionship and partnership with a long term GF.  Plenty of people do it.   It sounds like you married someone with more money then you.  So that's advantageous for you.

Many folks see no need for marriage so they live together, have kids together and love each other for a lifetime. From a legal and financial standpoint this choice can be complicated.

SF1900

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #34 on: July 17, 2016, 02:12:46 PM »
Having kids is the main cause of stress and strife in most marriages.
I never had 'em and never had a horrible experience getting divorced.
My wife and  often joke about the sorry state of affairs most married with children are in.
I've seen plenty of successful men that marry a woman and she becomes a mom and everything changes.

Plus, you need to marry someone with an equal career.
For example, my ex-wife was a board certified psychologist  with a PhD and good career.
When we divorced , we each took our car, sold the townhouse , had separate credit cards and split.
No hard feelings, no debt owed either way.

So why get married ?
Love , companionship and partnership.

My (current) wife is a  senior VP executive of her section at a major bank
I was a college physics teacher and just retired.
We are both previously divorced and neither of us had kids.

By combining our assets were have been able to obtain more then being single.
Plus, she's my best friend and we love sharing a simple, wholesome lifestyle.
It's a cold , lonely world and it's nice to spend my life with a loving partner at my side.

For my wife and I ,  our lifestyle with marriage as loving, equal partners, works.
BUT, for those younger guys I'd advise against any form of traditional marriage with children.
Stay single unless you meet a decent woman you're attracted to ,  who can also be your best friend.

AGAIN, don't have kids unless you really  feel called to be a parent.



No, youre wrong. The main strife in marriage and the number one reason for divorce is money issues.

However, having kids may create the money issue.
X

Howard

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #35 on: July 17, 2016, 02:15:21 PM »
You can have love, companionship and partnership with a long term GF.  Plenty of people do it.   It sounds like you married someone with more money then you.  So that's advantageous for you.

True, it's possible to have love and companionship with a long term gf.
BUT, for my wife and I , being married works better and it's what we both wanted.

I don't think anyone needs to follow our example, if they are happy UNmarried.
What bugs me, is how so many automatically think that marriage must equal kids and traditional crap. Why!? ???

Primemuscle

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #36 on: July 17, 2016, 02:15:48 PM »
I think  remember seeing some post from you on this issue.
It goes without saying, I am very sorry for your loss and hope you find some peace .
Take care and God Bless my friend.

Thank you.

I has been a little over a year since she passed. Our family and I are still adjusting to her not being physically here with us. She is with us in spirit though.

Howard

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #37 on: July 17, 2016, 02:19:36 PM »
No, youre wrong. The main strife in marriage and the number one reason for divorce is money issues.

However, having kids may create the money issue.

My wife and I were on our honeymoon a few yrs back and having a great time.
I smiled at her and said;
" You know, we're spending some our kids college fund on this trip don't you?"
She gave me a puzzled look  so I quickly said ;
" Oh wait a minute, we don't have any kids and we've already been to college. Party on ! "

Primemuscle

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #38 on: July 17, 2016, 02:21:21 PM »
True, it's possible to have love and companionship with a long term gf.
BUT, for my wife and I , being married works better and it's what we both wanted.

I don't think anyone needs to follow our example, if they are happy UNmarried.
What bugs me, is how so many automatically think that marriage must equal kids and traditional crap. Why!? ???

I respect your choice with regards to not having kids. Hopefully children aren't part of the "traditional crap" you speak of. I agree that having children should not be a given. As you mention, kids can bring stress to a marriage....but they also can bring joy.

SF1900

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #39 on: July 17, 2016, 02:22:33 PM »
My wife and I were on our honeymoon a few yrs back and having a great time.
I smiled at her and said;
" You know, we're spending some our kids college fund on this trip don't you?"
She gave me a puzzled look  so I quickly said ;
" Oh wait a minute, we don't have any kids and we've already been to college. Party on ! "

As I said, kids may create the money issue, but the number one reason people give for divorce is money issues, not kid issues.

But its really all nonlinear and connected. Most people don't get a divorced directly because of their children. They may get a divorce for reasons attached to having kids, such as money issues. Again, its nonlinear.
X

bigkid

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #40 on: July 17, 2016, 02:23:23 PM »
True, it's possible to have love and companionship with a long term gf.
BUT, for my wife and I , being married works better and it's what we both wanted.

I don't think anyone needs to follow our example, if they are happy UNmarried.
What bugs me, is how so many automatically think that marriage must equal kids and traditional crap. Why!? ???
I don't think marriage has to equal kids, but I personally would probably not get married if I wasn't planning on having kids.  I certainly wouldn't do it over and over again, but to each his own.  Everyone has their own plan.

Howard

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #41 on: July 17, 2016, 02:26:27 PM »
I'll never marry but not for the reasons typically talked about on getbig but simply because what is the fucking point? It dosent add anything at all to your relationship except making it harder to seperate if it all goes tits up. It's a piece of paper and a bitch taking your name? I fail to see the benefit

You can read my previous posts to see my view of enjoying marriage but no kids.

Guess what? Don't get married ! Unless you want a woman to be your partner and best friend in life, it's a mistake.
The traditional ideas of marriage suck. The idea that the man must be the one to make most of the $$ is silly.



anabolichalo

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #42 on: July 17, 2016, 02:28:38 PM »
i sometimes miss baby mama but in the end my life has never been better since she left


more freedom, more free time, more money, more peace of mind

feels good man

Howard

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #43 on: July 17, 2016, 02:32:04 PM »
I don't think marriage has to equal kids, but I personally would probably not get married if I wasn't planning on having kids.  I certainly wouldn't do it over and over again, but to each his own.  Everyone has their own plan.

I was only married 2x before this one and had good reasons for getting divorced both times.
Cliff notes :
 First wife started to REALLY want kids 2-3 years AFTER we got married. I never did, so we got divorced.

The 2nd wife started screwing around and wanted a variety of men to have sex with.
She was willing to have me do the same and I wasn't interested in doing that.
I actually prefer being monogamous and she didn't. No hard feelings , since we were open and honest.
But we had to get divorced .

Howard

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #44 on: July 17, 2016, 02:35:14 PM »
I respect your choice with regards to not having kids. Hopefully children aren't part of the "traditional crap" you speak of. I agree that having children should not be a given. As you mention, kids can bring stress to a marriage....but they also can bring joy.
Thanks. If one is called to have children it will be a "labor of love".
My wife and I were not called but accept others were.

"Traditional crap" is the stuff some couples "just do" because it's always been done in married life LOL.

Howard

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #45 on: July 17, 2016, 02:37:56 PM »
i sometimes miss baby mama but in the end my life has never been better since she left


more freedom, more free time, more money, more peace of mind

feels good man

I don't want you to take this personal , but the terms " baby mama and baby daddy" make me cringe.
I understand why you used 'em and what they mean, etc.

They just make me cringe like nails on a chalkboard, sorry.

anabolichalo

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #46 on: July 17, 2016, 02:39:01 PM »
I don't want you to take this personal , but the terms " baby mama and baby daddy" make me cringe.
I understand why you used 'em and what they mean, etc.

They just make me cringe like nails on a chalkboard, sorry.
every single post you make, makes me cringe

sorry ???

Mr Anabolic

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #47 on: July 17, 2016, 02:42:52 PM »
Maybe look at the ones who are in happy marriages or good wives and see what they have in common.

I suspect this is a defect in the person choosing as much as in the woman.  Why are you choosing someone who will get fat and depressed?  Maybe pick a chick who likes to take care of herself.  And take a look at her mom first whydontcha.

Yes, you can cherry pick and find some good marriages and good women, but the stats speak for themselves.  The divorce rate is closer to 60% than 50%.  I am not willing to risk my life savings for steady pussy.

Howard

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #48 on: July 17, 2016, 02:42:58 PM »
As I said, kids may create the money issue, but the number one reason people give for divorce is money issues, not kid issues.

But its really all nonlinear and connected. Most people don't get a divorced directly because of their children. They may get a divorce for reasons attached to having kids, such as money issues. Again, its nonlinear.

Excellent point!

My pet peeve is how so many declare and believe that having kids is "inevitable" with sex and /or marriage.
If a couple wants kids and does so, that's great. Obviously, many couples love being parents.

The "all or none" thinking ,  marriage = having children, is what bugs me.

Ya know  it always bugged me that so many meathedz assume you have to take drugs to make any muscle gains.

Live on your own terms and do things you're own way, is my motto.

Howard

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Re: Don't get married
« Reply #49 on: July 17, 2016, 02:44:01 PM »
every single post you make, makes me cringe

sorry ???

Well played Sir...well played  ;)