Try my 3,108 calories shake just blend in a blender sip between meals and watch as you become a mass monster, if this dont get you big then my dick aint 8 inches. 
1 cup of heavy whipping cream 821 calories
4  tablespoon of peanut butter  340 calories
2 scoop of whey protein           200 calories 
1 cup of raisins                        500 calories 
1  bar of dark chocolate            605 calories  
cup of coconut milk                  552 calories 
1 banana                                 90 calories