I want Israeli citizenship - how do I prove I am an ethnic Jew

[muscleman-2017]

I want Israeli citizenship - how do I prove I am an ethnic Jew to their satisfaction?

Is a DNA test sufficient?

[Bevo]

By dieting to 105 pounds 

[Slapper]

Take out your cock at the passport control area, show them your two inch python and blame rabbi Kutstein for the absence of manhood.

They'll understand.

[Irongrip400]

I think if you are a convert you have the right to citizenship too. A friend of mine and her husband moved there because he was Jewish, except he converted to Catholicism. I guess it didn't matter in his case because his mother was Jewish. I guess what I'm saying is, I have no clue.

[8 INCH not biceps]

I want Israeli citizenship - how do I prove I am an ethnic Jew to their satisfaction?

Is a DNA test sufficient?

Walk up to immigration drop a penny on the floor then start searching for it while crying hysterically about the money you just lost.

[local hero]

Does your nose not have to be a certain length or somthing?

[Obvious Gimmick]

Irongrip is correct.....kind of.  If you convert, you are eligible to become a citizen. But it needs to be a legit conversion from a legit synagogue. Not some bullshit on-line jewery.  If you go full orthodox then you get moved to the express lane. It's a long process. And yes if your moms a Jew then you're part of the club.   

[Slapper]

I read on the New York Times the other day that the Spanish government is giving automatic citizenship to the descendants of the Spanish Jews that were expelled in 1492.

So, if you're a Sephardi Jew, give it a try. Never hurts to have another option.

[Mobil]

Drop a pennie on the ground and go crazy to find it...they will know you are Jewish

[wes]

Show them the first dollar you ever earned. 

[robcguns]

Walk up to immigration drop a penny on the floor then start searching for it while crying hysterically about the money you just lost.

Hahahahha

[El Diablo Blanco]

$$$$, give them money and they'll give you a passport.

[Mobil]

Walk up to immigration drop a penny on the floor then start searching for it while crying hysterically about the money you just lost.

Lol said the same till i saw your post

[DroppingPlates]

I want Israeli citizenship - how do I prove I am an ethnic Jew to their satisfaction?

Is a DNA test sufficient?

You're too much of a moron, so there's nothing to satisfy

[Irongrip400]

I read on the New York Times the other day that the Spanish government is giving automatic citizenship to the descendants of the Spanish Jews that were expelled in 1492.

So, if you're a Sephardi Jew, give it a try. Never hurts to have another option.

Sounds to me like Spain is trying to inject a stimulus package into their shit economy. Once in, they won't recover. 

[rocco-x]

Rub gefilte fish on your pits and keep a cig lit in a downpour using the hebrew honker as cover and you're golden.

[jr]

Perform circumcisions and then suck the blood out with your mouth.

[Nails]

You need to show evidence of you severed foreskin to a rabbi at temple

[Obvious Gimmick]

You need to show evidence of you severed foreskin to a rabbi at temple

True

[Yamcha]

Get succ'd off by a Kohen after he cuts your cock

[Obvious Gimmick]

A lot of dick sucking fantisies in this thread 

[jr]

A lot of dick sucking fantisies in this thread 

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2015/02/21/nyc-orthodox-jews-in-talks-over-ritual-after-herpes-cases/23798751/

NEW YORK (AP) — With a swift swipe of his scalpel, Rabbi A. Romi Cohn circumcises the baby boy, then leans down and sucks the blood from the wound as prayers in Hebrew fill the Brooklyn synagogue.

The Orthodox Jewish tradition known as oral suction circumcision reaches back to biblical times but it has created a modern-day dilemma for New York City health officials, who have linked it to 17 cases of infant herpes since 2000. Two died and two others suffered brain damage.

 

[Nails]

You can also PM OneMoreRep a pic of your dick as well, he can verify your getbig stars of david jew account

[El Diablo Blanco]

Israelis are very funny people and love jokes.  Just fly there with an SS t-shirt and a Hitler mustache and start pretending to be hitler.  They'll love it.  They love jokers and will welcome you as a citizen.

[Kwon]

Irongrip is correct.....kind of.  If you convert, you are eligible to become a citizen. But it needs to be a legit conversion from a legit synagogue. Not some bullshit on-line jewery.  If you go full orthodox then you get moved to the express lane. It's a long process. And yes if your moms a Jew then you're part of the club.  

Online Jewery of Peace!

Got my jew-diploma from Mel Goodrum HWRKR CSN MSFIT