But Pro BB is a complete healthy endeavor
Sorry you’re battling with the thoughts of transitioning. Maybe seek a professional counselor. Don’t by the lie that life is about your happiness, you’ll end up always searching for it, never enjoying what you have or the moment. You become a prisoner to an idea/concept.
I also realize you’re having a hard time with professional bodybuilding while comparing it to trans sexual identity. They are both extreme outcomes for people who are obsessed with an ideal. These people lose focus of the risk reward ratio and think every risk is worth the potential reward. They are similar but not completely the same.
Either way get help.