do you think the out of breath passout thing could be anxiety panic related? Ive known many people who experience exactly what you do from anxiety and panic. Do glucose/insulin issues make you pass out, Im no expert just guessing. You seem to also have memory issues? How old are you, Im guessing 30ish? Do you expect to live to 40, or do you even care? Youre looking pretty rough. Who were you talking about with the hair on here, Noelting or something? Couldnt understand.
Nah, don't really have anxiety that bad. Although today I did take a 1/2mg of Ativan in the morning. Was a lil stressed out over my pain med issue.
The memory issues are because when I'm just talking off the top of my head and with the hospital vids I was usually in that hallway with the camera in front of me staring out that big black glass window and always a little bit distracted because I had to worry about who was walking behind me in that hallway. And at home shit I haven't slept actually even including the hospital videos the entire time I was in the hospital there would be two or three nights in a row where I wouldn't sleep at all not one minute not one hour and then say the 4th night or so I would get Maybe 2 hours of sleep from like 4 a.m. until 6 and I would repeat that the next day but then it would be back to sleeping not at all. And not buy not at all I do mean 0 sleep up all freaking night. That's been even worse since getting home because the pharmacy was out of 80 mg oxycontin and I was stuck with the 30 mg oxycodone IR and I sure as fuk can't be using that shit all fucking day, so pain has been an issue the past couple days since coming home and it's a little bit distracting when whenever I sit down it feels like I'm sitting on one of those Midwestern metal fence posts used to wrap barbed wire around. Best way I can describe it(Some of you Midwestern or Southern folks might know what I'm talking about), and when I walk I get like ice pick or dull screwdriver stabbing feelings in my hip that damn near feel like it's hitting the bone or something for some reason. And laying down in bed I don't know how to describe it it's almost like the muscle in my thigh folds over the cut and I've got fingers pushing into it. LoL.... So I'm kind of fucked whatever I'm doing... Up until well, this afternoon, i wasn't able to put on my socks on both feet until about 9 at night when all the painkillers and whatever seemed to build up. This morning I got a little bit more range of motion and found that I said bend over straight at the waist it's easier to put on my socks and shoes. I anticipate that getting easier now that I have my script for the long-acting pain killers.(I hadn't had a dose of those since about 7 a.m. Sunday morning while still in the hospital due to a pharmacy fuck up. The pharmacy had three Pharmacy interns find out a single fucking pharmacist insight all four times I was there since Sunday including Sunday. And they said they were out and needed to order and it wouldn't be here till Tuesday. Greaaaaat.. I get to go Sunday night all day Monday and most of the day Tuesday without the long acting primary painkiller. Well I call the pharmacy they say it's not ready because of the insurance company so I call the insurance company they say it's not approved yet I say what the fuc how can It be not approved yet? Anyways... fast forward to yesterday afternoon until to call the insurance company at 450 before they close to double check if it's been approved and sure enough I call it 450 and they say it's everything is good to go it's been approved so I get down to the pharmacy and they say no it's not been approved so I call back the insurance company and those cocksuckers are closed there's nobody I can talk to. So driving home I decide I'm going to call Walgreens and get their automated thing and see what their status there says and sure enough it says "oxycontin 80 mg has not yet been approved." Oxycontin? It should be oxycodone CR not Oxycontin. And I explained that to a pharmacist girl there, errr "pharmacy intern" and she realizes that she had ordered oxycontin 80 milligrams instead of Oxycodone CR 80 mg and tells me they can reorder it but it's going to be another day or two... Great, so no basel pain med til thurs. So after I get home I call back and ask to speak with an actual pharmacist, not an intern or trainee and explain to her I had to mess of hip surgeries and it was their mistake on ordering the basal pain medication and screwing that up and asking her what would you do in my position and what am I supposed to do and is there any way you can have Oxycodone shipped over from a different pharmacy nearby or get a doctor's approval or Insurance approval expedited for Oxycontin the one you guys ordered? Sure enough they got a hold of doctors office and then got a hold of the insurance company and it was approved within a couple hours. Easy fix if you think logically and look for logical Solutions. Not to mention pay fucking attention to what you're doing. I had to sit and suffer through Sunday night all of Monday all of Tuesday and Monday morning just because this Pharmacy trainee chic didn't read the prescription correctly (and I know damn well they take pictures of the prescriptions and she knew she fucked up when she pulled up the picture and noticed it was for Oxycodone CR 80mg, not oxycontin 80 milligram)... I know they're trainees and whatnot, and went to school and did all the right things, and they picked the right career and they going to make a lot of money and be nice and comfortable for the rest of their lives... not to mention they're all super cute Vietnamese girls... (Well except for one of them who was a white Emo chic). So I was careful not to go off on them for their mistake, however I did make sure they realized it was their mistake and hopefully it was a learning experience for them and a mistake they won't make in the future.
And NO, I'm not abusing my pain medications as I don't have very many and I sure as fuk don't want to run out early and ask the doctor for a refill or something. I mentioned I would likely need two weeks of pain meds and the pain management doctor said I'd would likely need quite a bit more, like three to five weeks worth.
My only concern is how things are going to work out when I start physical therapy because after looking at photos from post-surgery some of the pictures I didn't post I think I can actually see which muscles we're actually cut and removed and it looks more like it's the gluteus medius that was removed. And by removed I mean I can actually see the muscle going down from my hip which appears to be the gluteus medius was cut straight down who and who knows how far up into the hip it was removed but left about a centimeter or centimeter and a half of the muscle remained. Now as far as my knowledge goes the muscle is still there so I can somehow train them also and get it to Fire and somehow down the road I can maybe walk normally again however right now it hurts like a mother fucker and my concern is how do I push that particular muscle or other muscles in that area to a point where they are fatigued enough that it will cause hypertrophy. And how do I push it to that point for hypertrophy begins without painkillers because as it stands right now I can only do so much before it I have to stop because of the pain and I'm 90% sure I am stopping well before the point where that particular muscle, or muscle groups are fatigued to a point where they will grow... basing this on my nearly 18 year profession as a personal trainer having experience we're three having patients with knee and hip replacements as well as shoulder and rotator cuff surgeries. ... the patients or clients I should say usually it's the older women, who decide to tough it out and stop taking their pain medications early are usually the ones who take the longest to regain mobility and full function of their knee hip or shoulder. And I surmise it's because of their inability to push past that pain barrier and give those muscles a reason to adapt and grow.
