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Author Topic: Random tales from my life.....  (Read 1317 times)
Be There
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« on: October 01, 2017, 05:31:28 AM »

I remember going to see Stephen Hawkins to show him a revolutionary way of counting, I arrived and was introduced to Stephen and after brief exchange of pleasantries I held out my hands and showed him how to get to ten with just my fingers.
Stephen looked less than impressed but once I took off my shoes and socks and hit twenty I could see the excitement on his face, it was either excitement or he perhaps needed winding by his carer, nonetheless, he responded via his computer which said "get out of here you fucking moron" , Im sure he meant to say, "you need to stay with me and teach me all you know" but I suppose it got lost in translation.


Anyway, I will be updating this thread regularly to show what a full and exiting life I have led....
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« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2017, 05:32:21 AM »

I remember going to see Stephen Hawkins to show him a revolutionary way of counting, I arrived and was introduced to Stephen and after brief exchange of pleasantries I held out my hands and showed him how to get to ten with just my fingers.
Stephen looked less than impressed but once I took off my shoes and socks and hit twenty I could see the excitement on his face, it was either excitement or he perhaps needed winding by his carer, nonetheless, he responded via his computer which said "get out of here you fucking moron" , Im sure he meant to say, "you need to stay with me and teach me all you know" but I suppose it got lost in translation.


Anyway, I will be updating this thread regularly to show what a full and exiting life I have led....

Sorry, if it ain't Eric, it ain't credible.

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O
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« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2017, 12:01:48 PM »

l„l
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Pray_4_War
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« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2017, 12:03:14 PM »

Who the fuck is Stephen Hawkins?
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Be There
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« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2017, 12:06:11 PM »

Who the fuck is Stephen Hawkins?

Stephen Hawkings cleverer brother...
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The True Adonis
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« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2017, 12:06:56 PM »

I remember going to see Stephen Hawkins to show him a revolutionary way of counting, I arrived and was introduced to Stephen and after brief exchange of pleasantries I held out my hands and showed him how to get to ten with just my fingers.
Stephen looked less than impressed but once I took off my shoes and socks and hit twenty I could see the excitement on his face, it was either excitement or he perhaps needed winding by his carer, nonetheless, he responded via his computer which said "get out of here you fucking moron" , Im sure he meant to say, "you need to stay with me and teach me all you know" but I suppose it got lost in translation.


Anyway, I will be updating this thread regularly to show what a full and exiting life I have led....
I heard that when you met Mr. Hawking, you rolled away in a wheelchair with a much larger motor than his had (you used to race wheelchairs behind the gym on Sundays) and that the last thing you remember is glancing in the side mirrors at his sad, distorted face.

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« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2017, 12:17:47 PM »

I don't get this. Am I missing something?
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« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2017, 12:38:54 PM »

Stephen Hawkings cleverer brother...

You are 0 for 2 dude.  His name is Stephen Hawking.
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« Reply #8 on: October 01, 2017, 12:40:48 PM »

You are 0 for 2 dude.  His name is Stephen Hawking.
"Stephen Hawking cleverer brother"

Shit, I missed a ' before the s
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« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2017, 12:44:34 PM »

I don't get this. Am I missing something?

not sure mate, I on the other hand have never missed anything, in fact I once found "Wally" in 2.3 seconds, I was going through a Wheres Wally book in rehab with Serge Nubret, Serge couldn't find it due to having his painkillers, I had mine but they dont work on me and i was sharp as a tack.

I also managed to get the numbers of 43 nurses.
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« Reply #10 on: October 01, 2017, 12:45:43 PM »

not sure mate, I on the other hand have never missed anything, in fact I once found "Wally" in 2.3 seconds, I was going through a Wheres Wally book in rehab with Serge Nubret, Serge couldn't find it due to having his painkillers, I had mine but they dont work on me and i was sharp as a tack.

I also managed to get the numbers of 43 nurses.
Was he rude to everyone? Even his family?
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« Reply #11 on: October 01, 2017, 12:46:10 PM »

Was he rude to everyone? Even his family?

Goes without saying....
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« Reply #12 on: October 01, 2017, 12:52:32 PM »

Goes without saying....


And he didn't take kindly to disrespect - Not in the Hospital etc etc.
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« Reply #13 on: October 01, 2017, 12:58:25 PM »


And he didn't take kindly to disrespect - Not in the Hospital etc etc.

Now, you mention hospitals, I was once visiting a friend in hospital and there were some contractors working outside, they looked a little confused, I asked could I help and it turned out they had lost their blueprints for the planned extension to the maternity wing, I had some wallpaper in the trunk of my pickup truck so I rolled out out and using a pencil and my eye, I designed the wing based on their accounts from memory, they offered to pay me but I told them it was 'on the house, or 'on the hospital', they all laughed and gave me a round of applause, as I walked away one shouted, you should be onstage mate, you look awesome.
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« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2017, 01:06:17 PM »

Now, you mention hospitals, I was once visiting a friend in hospital and there were some contractors working outside, they looked a little confused, I asked could I help and it turned out they had lost their blueprints for the planned extension to the maternity wing, I had some wallpaper in the trunk of my pickup truck so I rolled out out and using a pencil and my eye, I designed the wing based on their accounts from memory, they offered to pay me but I told them it was 'on the house, or 'on the hospital', they all laughed and gave me a round of applause, as I walked away one shouted, you should be onstage mate, you look awesome.

 Grin LOL!!! MOAR!
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« Reply #15 on: October 01, 2017, 01:58:27 PM »

Someone my dad knew swore that during a day at work down the pit he stood up and banged his head so hard his eyeballs fell out, then he proceeded to walk to the doctors surgery holiding his eyeballs up in his hands so he could see where he was going and sat calmly in the waiting room till the doctor had a cancellation and had time to put his eyeballs back in for him.
He also claimed he smoked a cigarette on a non smoking flight by hanging out the open door secured with a piece of rope round his waist.
Still pales in comparison to a certain gentlemanís exploits
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« Reply #16 on: October 01, 2017, 02:00:15 PM »

Good stuff!  LOL  Cheesy
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« Reply #17 on: October 01, 2017, 03:39:01 PM »

One day I was thumbing a lift to the gym as I'd just got out of prison, when I passed a hospital, and as I happened to have an abcess on my shoulder, not from injecting dirty gear, I infact got bitten by a downs syndrome person, I decided to call in and have it removed. While there I filled up on all the free tea and toast, the paramedics brought in a guy on a stretcher who had been dead six days, I at once brought the skills I'd learned in first aid at the weekend course I got my trainers qualification at, and brought the man back to life. I was asked by the hospital senior staff to become head surgeon on $100,000 a month but I wanted to follow my dream of selling protein shakes at the front desk of a struggling gym. The managers were disappointed but I hit some poses for them and they cheered and remarked I should compete.
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« Reply #18 on: October 01, 2017, 03:41:13 PM »

I disgrace myself by getting up every morning
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« Reply #19 on: October 01, 2017, 04:41:54 PM »

I was walking home from a party the other night, which happened to be a very productive night, there were lots of people there, and some women recognized me from the gym and said, "Hey, i have seen you around, you should compete." I told her that I didn't compete, but she still said she wanted me to train her, so i gave her my business card, this girl happens to know Tom Cruise and told me I should train him to. but when i was walking home from the party, 5 guys approached me with guns and knives, they saw me and what kind of conditioning i was in, and they decided to step off and not rob me, whats funny is that i recognized one of them from my old neighborhood, and we got to talking, and i decided to train all his friends, funny they also asked me if i ever competed.
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« Reply #20 on: October 01, 2017, 04:44:26 PM »

I smell like piss
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« Reply #21 on: October 01, 2017, 05:44:00 PM »

Now, you mention hospitals, I was once visiting a friend in hospital and there were some contractors working outside, they looked a little confused, I asked could I help and it turned out they had lost their blueprints for the planned extension to the maternity wing, I had some wallpaper in the trunk of my pickup truck so I rolled out out and using a pencil and my eye, I designed the wing based on their accounts from memory, they offered to pay me but I told them it was 'on the house, or 'on the hospital', they all laughed and gave me a round of applause, as I walked away one shouted, you should be onstage mate, you look awesome.
Grin
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« Reply #22 on: October 01, 2017, 06:35:54 PM »

I remember going to see Stephen Hawkins to show him a revolutionary way of counting, I arrived and was introduced to Stephen and after brief exchange of pleasantries I held out my hands and showed him how to get to ten with just my fingers.
Stephen looked less than impressed but once I took off my shoes and socks and hit twenty I could see the excitement on his face, it was either excitement or he perhaps needed winding by his carer, nonetheless, he responded via his computer which said "get out of here you fucking moron" , Im sure he meant to say, "you need to stay with me and teach me all you know" but I suppose it got lost in translation.


Anyway, I will be updating this thread regularly to show what a full and exiting life I have led....

Who is Steven Hawkins? Are you referring to my (sort of) cousin, Steven Hawkings?

This man


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The True Adonis
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« Reply #23 on: October 01, 2017, 06:41:08 PM »

Who is Steven Hawkins? Are you referring to my (sort of) cousin, Steven Hawkings?

This man



Fishing for us to ask you about your (sort of) relation to Steven Hawkling is not going to work.
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« Reply #24 on: October 01, 2017, 11:36:26 PM »

Fishing for us to ask you about your (sort of) relation to Steven Hawkling is not going to work.

Okay. It's no big deal anyway.
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