"I want you to get your ass back on my board and do what you do best...MOTIVATE THEM"
August 25th was a hard day for me. I was depressed, confused and downright angry. The loss of a bodybuilding legend and future Mr. Olympia hit me hard. Even with all my education and degrees couldn't stop me from falling into a dark void. I was walking around but I wasn't there. A boundless black terror is how my life felt without Rich Piana being alive. I sat in my study in Lake Placid writing lugubrious poetry and downward spiraling memoirs splattered with sadness. The death of Rich Piana was life-stopping.
Mr. Olympia weekend I flew into LA and grabbed a bite to eat. I proceeded to go to the Expo but after a few feet in I started to sweat and hyperventilate. The Expo wasn't the same without him there, in fact it felt flat. Ron called me on my mobile and we exchanged small talk. To make a long story short I told him I was leaving and going back to the GetBig offices to get some paperwork done. Before I left I ran into Shawn Ray. Small talk ensued, and I asked him to come back to GetBig, give it one more chance. He said he would think about it. I left the Expo with my head down. People noticed.
I sat down at my office to get some much-needed paper done. I ordered Chinese and dug right in to my work and my Kung Pow Chicken. 7pm turned into 10pm and 10pm turned into 1am. Looking over the paperwork I saw Vince Basaile's request for his blue Stars. I put that on top of Ron's pile, so it would be the first thing he saw. I went through all the financials and files on members. I organized all the purchase orders alphabetically and paid all our vendors. To make a long story short I was keeping busy to keep my mind off the great loss of Rich Piana.
Before I knew it, I was awakened by the bright Los Angeles sunrise. I had fallen asleep at my desk. Henrietta, Ron's personal assistant had brought me a Non-fat, caramel macchiato, iced upside down with two shots of espresso and a scoop of Isopure protein...my regular drink when I'm at the office. I moped around the office...I was in a FUNK...AND I KNEW IT!
It's funny. The death of Rich Piana has changed my world forever. It has placed itself on my Day Runner’s calendar and I can't delete it. I've been given a membership to a club I didn’t' want to join. First, sadness, then anger, then depression set it. People around the GetBig office tried to console me but said all the wrong things. "I know how you feel" was the one thing that made me angry. NO! No one knows how I feel because no one had the special, unique relationship I had with Rich. I retreated to my office, closed the door and shades and sat down. To make a long story short, I grabbed some fitness bands, attached them to my office door and started Hate-Exercising. Sweat, poured down my face mixed with tears. Heavy breaths echoed my office and I swear everyone on Olive Street could hear my heart beating.
The phone rang! Like a machine getting its power shut off, I stopped. Looked at the phone for a moment then answered it. It was Ron. This conversation was something I never had with Ron before. Ron asked me how I was doing and through a staccato of tears, mucus and traumatic convulsions, I mustered an "Ok". Ron knew I was lying and told me to shut up and listen. He'd been watching me on his surveillance system and knew I had been there at the Getbig offices for almost two days. He told me that GetBig needs me. I'm like that bright beacon of hope shining through a storm filled ocean. Apparently, members were PM'ing him wondering what happened to the Most Positive Member Of The Month and where is Fallsview. Ron told me that there was a void at GetBig and people were noticing. In fact, negativity has been at an all-time high since my sabbatical. The last sentence Ron said to me was..." I want you to get your ass back on my board and do what you do best, MOTIVATE THEM."
That was it. Ron had hung up and I was sitting there, phone in hand and mouth hanging open. Ron's motivational talk sparked a fire, a fire that had gone out on August 25th. You must give your grief a purpose. When you experience loss, you must be able to hold both grief and joy in the same moments. I learned I can't hide in the shadow of Rich Piana's life. I have a very precious, meaningful life and I need to seize the day. I learned that I'm going to step into the sunshine and let the memory of Rich Piana shine bright!
I encourage everyone here to read this post again...and again. I for one believe that this post is best paired with dark chocolate, fresh brewed tea and a comfy chair. Let these words touch your soul. Let these words be your torch in that dark cave...lighting the way back home. Don't be afraid, there are people here that care, and you are stronger then you think.
So, to make a long story short, I guess in my grief I did some good things for some people. I heard that Ron saw Vince's file on top of his desk and read it again with some of my notes and awarded Vince his Blue Stars. Many years gone from GetBig, Shawn Ray is back (Thank You Shawn, I owe you one). For me I've revitalized my entire life. I've renewed my passion of becoming a Bikaram Yogi and started an Etsy shop selling small soap stone carvings I do in my spare time. I've never felt more alive...and more determined!
I'm coming back/making my Triumphant return to GetBig with a new attitude. A new program will go live this Thursday at 8pm EST, 5pm PST. It's going to be for the members that feel alone and who's hearts beat just like mine!
So, in closing I can say that as frightening as loss can be, most of us are resilient. Missing someone we harvest those great stories about the times we spent with them. Sure, it can be sad, but it can also push a laugh and smile out. We are strong, but it never hurts to let others help us along our journey. Remember, death is not a technical glitch in our system...it’s a feature. It's something all of us can predict. So, to put it simply...BE NICE. Seriously, it’s not hard and I know some of you like to be funny at others expense and some just plain mean but really, we all think we have time. That’s our biggest mistake. So, make friends, debate politely and live like it’s your last day on earth. Because for some...it very well may be.
STAY POSITIVE.
Regards,
Fallsview.
