It's a well-known fact that 99% of all bodybuilders employ the Matt Canning method of 'True Height Adjustment' (THA) when calculating their stature. THA being the fusion of terminological inexactitudes, unscrupulous use of hidden lifts, Marshian algebraic equations and an immaterial invocation of Gödel's incompleteness theorems to construct the following formula:
Length times Diameter plus Weight over Gait divided by Angle of posture squared ((L*D)+(W/G))/(A^2). Thus, it is entirely possible for the 5'6.5" Dorian to be 5'10.5”.
Brilliant and insightful.
Meta-physical, might I add that the imprecise variables built into the Canning THA exhibit an alluring "spooky action" (N.B. not related to the dark deeds of Goodrum’s evening constitutionals about Greenville's Bowery district). Canning states that his height is 5'8.5" tall, but also offers that he is accelerating into a nonstop incremental shrinking rate of roughly 1cm per decade. The stated Canning height (CH) and the impending rate of Canning height decline (CHD) form what even the most soft-headed Getbiggers recognize as an entangled pair (like Tbombz and Ahmed the Fez merchant in a Turkish bath house). Hence, not only will the CH elude being accurately measured because it is always declining at the rate of the CHD, but any attempt to precisely measure the CHD is equally futile because its measurement depends on Canning's height being fixed at a set point in time, which is itself impossible because of temporal infinitesimality. Consequently, the desideratum of capturing the CH will always be frustrated by CHD, and vice versa. So, unless we can, Mattatis Mattandis, get a fix on either the CH or the CHD, the upshot introduces the Matterial problem of quantum superposition, which is, as you know, more famously referred to as Schrödinger's Matt.
