I hate these but anyways
1-Uncle Joon- All his gimmicks turn on him and virtually cave his giant nose into his brain
2-Dj 181, I would say overdose of steroids but those are probably bunk. No I feel he will meet his demise while having one too many narcissistic rages in front of the wrong chickie who will proceed to beat him to death with a pack of twinkies. He did finally get his arms up to 14 and 1/2 inches and his quads up to 12 inches from 8 so he did die knowing he accomplished something6-
3-Shizzo. Suicide after getting perma banned from every bodybuilding website out there. Oh and also from an overdose of alcohol and pecker nectar. His dying words were rumoured to be, "all these sailors, gimmicks, every last one of them"
4-Matt C-While having a sleepover with all 22 of his baby mommas he accidentaly gets smothered by a couple of the fat ones in his sleep. Sadly he had just got an article with md approved for publication entitled
Vince Goodrums Pumps his Guns Instead Of Some Cheating Husband's Ass. Luckily Matt had cashed out his crypto currency and was esitmated to be worth $1 Billion dollars at death making him only the second richest getbigger in history behind Suck My Muscle. This ensures Matt'c Children Matt, Matilda, Matt, Matt Matilda, Matt, Matilda, Matilda, Matt, Matilda, Matilda, Vince, Matt, Matilda, Matt, Matt, Ron, plus the 4 sets of twins not yet born until later this year are ensured a long and prosperous life in Thunder Bay
5-Vince Goodrum- While giving yet another one of South Carloina's Infamous cheating husbands the 8 inch kielbasa in walks the man's very irate 400lbs wife who screams "Homewrecker!!!" while brandishing a machete. Unfortunately Vince's Box Cutters and Small spray bottle of bleach are not in the corduroy jeans around his ankle, but in the pocket of his 8 Ball Leather jacket which he left on the coat rack by the front door. There is a court battle going on currently between ex husband and getbig hall of famer Vissy and Vince's Cousin Shawn over whom gets the Caliber Fitness Empire and more improtantly his $100 Youtube Royalty check
6-EsFitness- You might think he will go out in a blaze of glory but you would be wrong. EsFitness after years of being an outlaw, too much smack, crack, wacky tobac, and Cognac, along with bad spider bites, tons of gear, not taking any disrespect and 5 coca colas each at breakfast lunch and dinner decides to go 100% Home Grown organic fruits vegtables, free range eggs, grass fed beeef and dairy. His body rejects all these healthy foreign products and it rebels against him and he croaks after injesting 3 free range eggs cook in 100% organic Coconut Oil.
After news of his passing hit the world, all the prisons, sherrif's departments, celebrities he trained and the state of mexico itself all hang their respective flags at half mass. Rumour has it Linda wants Es Buried beside Bruce in Seattle
7-Vince Basile---Well Fitness Frenzy tells it so well
written by ironmeister and FitnessFrenzy.
One night, after a few too many glasses of cheap red wine from Aldi, Basile decides to test out his new biceps supinator exo-skeleton suit, which is a machine he has nicknamed "Mona".
As Basile painfully gets up from his dirty kitchen chair, he takes a screw wrench in his shaking hand and slowly walks into the living room. On the dusty shelf stands a replica of the Sandow statue and some wrinkled, wet magazines with men of an erotic nature. It is good that Getbig never asks about a love life or a wife … "only gay, if you want it to be" he thinks to himself.
Further into the living room, he sees the machine that he has been working on for so long. Mona, the machine, looks magnificent. There are blue stars on the side of the machine, which he has carved out from lapis lazuli.
Still a little drunk from the cheap red wine, Basile sits down into the heavily modified biceps supinator, which is now more like a real powered exoskeleton. As he slowly sits down into the machine, a visor folds down onto his face. As Mona starts up, Basile starts the voice command. "Load Getbig, Gossip & Opinions", he tells Mona. Wearing the exoskeleton, Basile looks like a kind of old rusty terminator.
As Getbig is starting up on Basile's LCD head visor, Mona says to him: "Master, there is an incoming call". "Who is it from, Basile says?". Mona replies. "I can't see, but the call is from Regina, Saskatchewan". Basile then says: "notify the Canadian police". Fucking Avesher, he says to himself.
When Getbig finally loads, Basile posts in a few shitty threads as usual and desperately tries to prove once again his long ago forgotten achievements in the bodybuilding scene.
Mona then comes with a warning: "Master, ironmeister is now online". "Launch a few gimmick attacks at this vile scum", Basile says nervously.
After bashing Goodrum and being owned by a few tiny tits on Getbig, Basile stands up in the exoskeleton suit, which has powered hydraulics to help him move around. He then exits his house and tells Mona to prepare the jet thrusts. As the thrust begins to fire up, Basile flies up in the skies like Iron Man. As he flies over Manly beach, he is reminded of the apartment, he once had, that he should never have sold. Arnold's dried up cum is still hidden somewhere in that apartment.
Suddenly, the thrusters break down and Basile realizes that he only has a few seconds left to live. Grasping his 15.1 inch chubby arm, he visualizes for the last time the moment he measured the mighty guns of the oak…then he hit's Sydney's hard asphalt and feels his dentures going through his brain…then all turns black.
"Flotsam and jetsam", "wake up, Vince" a soft voice sounds in the utter blackness. Basile opens his heavy eyes and looks into a white room without walls. A man in a bunny suit is sitting in front of him…"welcome to heaven son", Jesus says. Basile rubs his eyes in amazement and says "is Nasser here?, is Oliva already here?" Bunny Jesus smiles and does not answer. He points his finger towards a white house and a garden situated in the horizon.
After a long walk Basile finally reaches the beautiful house and knocks on the door. The door opens and Ron smiles at him…"Welcome Basile, I have something for you". He turns and walks to the table in the center of the room…Basile follows him until suddenly he stops and freezes in awe.
Blue shiny stars are standing on the table…"a lifetime award for the oldest Getbigger". Basile takes a big breath and shakes his head " finally after all those years"…a tear is sliding down his cheek.
that my friends are my predictions for 2018
