I se myself as a very selfish self entitled self absorbed jerk, who doesn't give q shit about anyone else but himself
So that is self delusional, get the fuck out here with your bullshit shit fer brains
Yes, it is delusional. Obviously you invent absurd flaws ("selfish and self-entitled") which distract from your real flaws.
"I'm not a mediocre bodybuilder, I just get bored so I can't train consistently"
"I'm not a pussy with no desire to fight other competitors, I just love bodybuilding too much to dedicate myself to boxing training. I prefer to pick on drunks at the pub and set up inter-continental challenges on the internet instead."
"Women dont leave me because I'm a degenerate social abortion, but because I'm too in love with myself."
"I don't treat people like shit because they wouldn't have anything to do with me otherwise, I do it because I 'dont care about them'."
Whenever you look inside, you see only the lies you've created for yourself. They protect you from the pathetic reality.