Short version - I'd give Arnold everything from the front, Heath every thing from the back, except calves.
Ummmm...This doesn't quite come out (poor choice of word there, LOL!) very
straight and to the point. You may wish to reword it.

Just kidding.

Arnold is still Numero Uno. He makes everyone before, during and after his time look (and here I am being kind) inadequate.
Phildo just looks like something fell out of a rhino's anus and is about to be harvested by dung beetles.