You're only gay if you're attracted to men right? (or what looks like a man) 
Or if your girlfriend is packing a cawk... (particularly if its bigger than yours)
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Here's a modern arrangement that I'm struggling to assimilate into my neanderthal world view - serious question, no BS:
■ Kaitlyn Jenner is post-op, so now has a mangina
■ She is in a relationship with someone who has also physically transitioned from previously having male genitalia
So does that mean they are both now lesbi4n..? Or is there another category, like 'homotransexual'?
