Getbiggers,
It's not unusual to run into various types of anabolic steroid users, from the typical male, 18-35, to older folk, women, even mentally challenged bros like my friend Marvin. But who can honestly say they know a person suffering from dwarfism who is a heavy gear user? Well, I certainly can, and he's a bastard!
The other day at the gym, I was collecting all the 45 pound plates in the place in order to load up the leg press with a challenging weight when, lo and behold, I literally stumbled on a midget doing dumbbell curls. Dwarves are usually stumpy, but this fellow defied stumpy- he was literally as wide as he was tall (perhaps 4 feet), and looked like a slightly taller version of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. I stopped in front of him and looked down, staring. "What the fuck you lookin at?" the little devil snarled. "Pound for pound, I'm probably the strongest in this gym" he bragged. "See, folks like me get more out of steroids cause of our being smaller" he snapped. Then he waddled proudly over to an Olympic bar loaded up with 400 pounds and dead lifted it, albeit his range of motion was a only few inches due to his size. Swelling up his chest, he walked by me, as if I were supposed to be impressed. I thought I heard him mutter "fuckin ####". Later, I noticed him cursing some other lifters, and lecturing them on proper gear use. He even challenged one of them to a fight!
At the time, I was too shocked by the sight of the little freak to correct his arrogant attitude, but I lay quivering in bed that night, shaking in rage. The next time I saw him, there would be a reckoning.
There he was at the gym the next day, and I approached him, smirking, and made an innocent enough joke- 'Hey there, Tom Thumb, be careful, if immigration officers catch you they'll deport you back to the land of Lilliput!" I roared, laughing. Nobby came along and joined in "little bahstahd, fook off!" he said, then kicked the little fellow over with his foot. Then Marvin, a Down-Syndrome afflicted bodybuilder at the gym, came over, laughing, and kicked the little bastard in the face! He wobbled to his feet, and ran out the gym, screaming "I'll be back with my friends, you fuckers!!" as everyone roared with laughter.
