Biggest assholes I have met in bodybuilding....

[oldtimer1]

In the late 70's I trained at Atlas gym in Jersey city. You younger guys don't realize that gyms were rare. Especially bodybuilding gyms. Most guys into bodybuilding trained in garages, basements and some YMCA's. Atlas was on the second floor of a store front business. There are pictures of Sergio training there but I never saw him there.  I think guys that train in the modern gyms of today would be shocked by this place.  The rug on the floor looked like they found it in a dump. From deadlifting on the wood floor underneath you had to be careful where you walked or you could twist an ankle stepping in a hole covered by the rug. I loved the place.

 Bodybuilding was starting to take off. I was a bodybuilding fan since I was a kid because the neighboring town Union city was Joe Weiders head quarters on 32nd street. As a very young kid in the 60's they would give me stacks of free expired magazines. Even got to see the man Joe Weider. To a 70lbs little kid he looked like a giant in his suit.  

Back to Atlas. Hate to say it but guys on steroids stink. The place had a stench. I had no clue who the manufacturer of the equipment was. It was painted gold if my memory serves me but it was all mismatched stuff. I'm sure much of it was home made by a welder. It was there I saw my first Nautilus machine. They had the original combo plate loading Nautilus curl and tricep machine. Guess I'm rambling now.

The guy who managed the place was the nicest guy.  He wasn't the owner. I have no clue who owned it. He lived in the place on a little dirty mattress on the floor. He cooked on a hot plate. Rumor had it he was a recovering homeless alcoholic. I think he was just happy to have a place to live. Everyone loved him.

It was soon after that I met Jose and Pedro. Names changed to protect them. Two Hispanic steroid using teenagers. They both had sick potential to get to the top. Jose was already the NJ teen champion. He was about 210 and 5'10 ripped. About 230lbs off season. Pedro had even bigger potential but was a lazy in the gym.  At around 6' he had the biggest arms I've seen to date at that time. These two were celebrities. They worked as bouncers on the side and the code in North Jersey if you were a bounce anywhere you got free admission to any other club. I remember going to the big college dance club at the time. A real huge place.  I'm with Jose and it's winter. Jose opens his coat and he has Heineken beers everywhere. Two in his belt. Two in an inside pocket. Two under his arm. I never saw him do this in the car where we were pre gaming prior to going in. He said, " Want one?"  Here we are drinking for free until I noticed something. Jose, "They don't serve Heineken."  

The dance music is blasting and I make my way to the dance floor on the outer perimeter. I'm watching the chicks dance and I start to move my self. I know it won't be long till I'm out on the floor with a chick. The place is packed. I feel someone shove me. I figure it's just crowded. Then it happens again. I turn around and realize a guy is shoving me on purpose. He blows me a kiss like what are you going to do twinkle toes. I hit him with three quick shots to his face and he fell like he was electrocuted flat on his face.

 Then I notice something else. All the bar tenders hopped over the three huge bars heading for me. I looked by the entrance and the bouncers are heading in my direction. Back then bouncers took joy in breaking bones and fucking people up. Now law suits stops that but in north Jersey the mob ruled and many of the clubs were mob owned. I felt real terror.  The club was packed and with the dim lights and light effects I blended into the crowd and walked fast toward the exit. A bouncer was running toward me and I told him the fight is on the dance floor and he ran right by me. I got in my car and my heart was going a million miles an hour.  I had a shift car and I put it in first gear ready to peel out and hit the road. Then it a happened. What happened was nothing. I sat in my car for about 45 minutes. No one was looking for me. Here comes Jose drunk as hell. He tells me there was a big fight by the dance floor. Some guy knocked a guy out cold. All his buddies were circling the place looking for him. It was chaos. I told him it was me as I drove out of the place.

[Dave D]

In the late 70's I trained at Atlas gym in Jersey city. You younger guys don't realize that gyms were rare. Especially bodybuilding gyms. Most guys into bodybuilding trained in garages, basements and some YMCA's. Atlas was on the second floor of a store front business. There are pictures of Sergio training there but I never saw him there.  I think guys that train in the modern gyms of today would be shocked by this place.  The rug on the floor looked like they found it in a dump. From deadlifting on the wood floor underneath you had to be careful where you walked or you could twist an ankle stepping in a hole covered by the rug. I loved the place.

 Bodybuilding was starting to take off. I was a bodybuilding fan since I was a kid because the neighboring town Union city was Joe Weiders head quarters on 32nd street. As a very young kid in the 60's they would give me stacks of free expired magazines. Even got to see the man Joe Weider. To a 70lbs little kid he looked like a giant in his suit.  

Back to Atlas. Hate to say it but guys on steroids stink. The place had a stench. I had no clue who the manufacturer of the equipment was. It was painted gold if my memory serves me but it was all mismatched stuff. I'm sure much of it was home made by a welder. It was there I saw my first Nautilus machine. They had the original combo plate loading Nautilus curl and tricep machine. Guess I'm rambling now.

The guy who managed the place was the nicest guy.  He wasn't the owner. I have no clue who owned it. He lived in the place on a little dirty mattress on the floor. He cooked on a hot plate. Rumor had it he was a recovering homeless alcoholic. I think he was just happy to have a place to live. Everyone loved him.

It was soon after that I met Jose and Pedro. Names changed to protect them. Two Hispanic steroid using teenagers. They both had sick potential to get to the top. Jose was already the NJ teen champion. He was about 210 and 5'10 ripped. About 230lbs off season. Pedro had even bigger potential but was a lazy in the gym.  At around 6' he had the biggest arms I've seen to date at that time. These two were celebrities. They worked as bouncers on the side and the code in North Jersey if you were a bounce anywhere you got free admission to any other club. I remember going to the big college dance club at the time. A real huge place.  I'm with Jose and it's winter. Jose opens his coat and he has Heineken beers everywhere. Two in his belt. Two in an inside pocket. Two under his arm. I never saw him do this in the car where we were pre gaming prior to going in. He said, " Want one?"  Here we are drinking for free until I noticed something. Jose, "They don't serve Heineken."  

The dance music is blasting and I make my way to the dance floor on the outer perimeter. I'm watching the chicks dance and I start to move my self. I know it won't be long till I'm out on the floor with a chick. The place is packed. I feel someone shove me. I figure it's just crowded. Then it happens again. I turn around and realize a guy is shoving me on purpose. He blows me a kiss like what are you going to do twinkle toes. I hit him with three quick shots to his face and he fell like he was electrocuted flat on his face.

 Then I notice something else. All the bar tenders hopped over the three huge bars heading for me. I looked by the entrance and the bouncers are heading in my direction. Back then bouncers took joy in breaking bones and fucking people up. Now law suits stops that but in north Jersey the mob ruled and many of the clubs were mob owned. I felt real terror.  The club was packed and with the dim lights and light effects I blended into the crowd and walked fast toward the exit. A bouncer was running toward me and I told him the fight is on the dance floor and he ran right by me. I got in my car and my heart was going a million miles an hour.  I had a shift car and I put it in first gear ready to peel out and hit the road. Then it a happened. What happened was nothing. I sat in my car for about 45 minutes. No one was looking for me. Here comes Jose drunk as hell. He tells me there was a big fight by the dance floor. Some guy knocked a guy out cold. All his buddies were circling the place looking for him. It was chaos. I told him it was me as I drove out of the place.

Lol

Waiting for it to happen but nothing happened.

Great story!

[LurkerNoMore]

Not a pro... but an old timer in Atlanta had a scar on his right shoulder, about the size of a dime with multiple little dots in it.  Just like your parents have when they got the childhood vaccine that left the same kind of scar.   I noticed later that he had one on his left shoulder too.  I was like "wow, never saw anyone with two before"   got to talking and he said only the one on the left was from the vaccine.  The one on the right came from his dumb ass buying 5ml vials of homemade finaplex that was sold in the glass high school chemistry vial containers.  You know... the kind with the 3/4" thick rubber stopper on top that seals it?   Dude said he was 20 years old and was pushing an 18g needle THROUGH all the rubber to draw out and inject each time.  I was like "18g???  WTF??" and he said yeah that when he tried using a smaller needle like a 22g, it always bent going through the stopper.  He said it was so long ago that people didn't have the internet for advice and he never once thought to pull the stopper out and preload his syringes or to load the syringe and then change the needle.  He said "so I ended up with this and... THIS!!!"  at that point he pulled the back of his shorts down and his ass cheeks had 2-3 of the same scars on each side

[wes]

Great fucking story Rich..........had me in stitches buddy! LOL

[wes]

Not a pro... but an old timer in Atlanta had a scar on his right shoulder, about the size of a dime with multiple little dots in it.  Just like your parents have when they got the childhood vaccine that left the same kind of scar.   I noticed later that he had one on his left shoulder too.  I was like "wow, never saw anyone with two before"   got to talking and he said only the one on the left was from the vaccine.  The one on the right came from his dumb ass buying 5ml vials of homemade finaplex that was sold in the glass high school chemistry vial containers.  You know... the kind with the 3/4" thick rubber stopper on top that seals it?   Dude said he was 20 years old and was pushing an 18g needle THROUGH all the rubber to draw out and inject each time.  I was like "18g???  WTF??" and he said yeah that when he tried using a smaller needle like a 22g, it always bent going through the stopper.  He said it was so long ago that people didn't have the internet for advice and he never once thought to pull the stopper out and preload his syringes or to load the syringe and then change the needle.  He said "so I ended up with this and... THIS!!!"  at that point he pulled the back of his shorts down and his ass cheeks had 2-3 of the same scars on each side

WOW,that`s fucking nutz! LOL  

I`ve got a pretty big indentation/chunk of flesh missing on my left ass cheek from an abcess caused by using Winsrol V.

What a healthy endeavor bodybuilding is! 

[wes]

As I previously mentioned probably about a million times (sorry),at the YMCA,we had a powerlifting team and me and Harris were part of the team.

We were all traveling up to Nashua New Hampshire to compete in a meet..............everyo ne had different cars, and we drove up with a real funny joker named Ron Stewart.

Someone else drove up with us too,but I can`t remember who it was.........anyway,this was long before Harris got his weight up to 220 or230  pounds, and he was a little bit light, and wanted to compete in the 198 pound class.........weighing in at 198 on the nose if possible.

As I mentioned earlier this guy was a prodigious eater and always carried a shitload of food with him in his gym bag at all times as well as quarts of milk and quarts of OJ........staples in his diet.

In his infinite wisdom,he started sipping on a gallon of milk earlier that day and kept sipping or gulping it down on the way to the meet.


As I also mentioned his quads and ass were huge from heavy squats but he had a tiny waist so he was forced to wear kahkis,overalls,painters pants and restaurant type pants from his job.....otherwise he lived in sweatpants.

He always looked weird with baggy pants and his belt cinched really tight to hold up his pants,though I think his ass would have done the job even if he didn`t wear a belt.

OK,so he finally sucked down that whole gallon of milk over a decent time period,then he ate a restaurant sized can of Chef Boyardee ravioli,a box of cookies ( he was a cookie freak),and 3-4 peanut butter sammiches`.

Ronnie stopped several times so he could piss from all the milk he drank.........the we started to smell something foul in the car.......it was Harris farting his ass off.


We were dying and Ron almost puked.


All of a sudden Harris yells:

"Ron stop the fucking car man,I have to shit real bad".


Ronnie told him he stunk but we were losing time and to try and hold it.


Harris was insanely farting, and finally after some more yelling,Ron pulled over to the side of the road.

No trees or bushes,just a mountain.............so here we have a giant black guy running furiously up the side of this huge mountain with a giant ass and huge legs wearing white painters pants.


All of a sudden the legs of his white pants were suddenly brown with wet shit running down his legs........we fucking died !  LOL  


After cleaning up and changing we resumed our trip.


You had to see it to appreciate it but it was one of the funniest things I`ve ever seen and quite frankly pretty fucking nasty also!  

[IroNat]

Great stories guys.

Thanks for sharing.

[Big Tex C*ckburn, PhD]

I was friends with Branch Warren many years ago. We used to train together all the time then go out for lunch afterwards. One day, I mentioned to him that I wanted to swing by the local GNC to pick up some protein supplements and vitamins, so off we went. As I was paying for the items at the counter, the middle-aged woman serving me looked at my vitamins and remarked, ‘oh, these look interesting? Have you used them before?’ I informed her that I had, and that I hadn’t suffered a cold or bout of flu in a few years now. ‘As long as you’ve got your health, that’s the main thing,’ she replied. Suddenly, Branch stepped out from behind me. ‘What the fuck did you just say?’ He growled at her. She looked puzzled and glanced at me, unsure of what to do. I’m a fucking elf, am I?’ Branch continued. He misheard her and assumed he had been mistaken for a pet elf. His well-known insecurities were about to cause a Chernobyl-like meltdown which I wasn’t at all prepared for.

‘ELVES ARE MYTHICAL BEINGS, YOU FUCKING SLAG! I’M AVERAGE HEIGHT!! LOOK AT YOUR ARMS… PROBABLY NOT EVEN TWELVE INCHES!! I’LL BENCH-PRESS YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!’

He let out a high-pitched shriek as he launched himself up over the counter, leaping on to the woman’s back and then bit down hard on her ear. She screamed in agony as she fought to shake him off, but her arms couldn’t reach back far enough to get a hold of him. She thrashed around violently, throwing herself backwards into various shelves in order to get him off of her, but with his legs wrapped around her waist, and his hands covering her eyes, she was fucked.

‘SANDRA, HELP! FUCKING HELP! THIS THING IS BITING ME!’ She cried out to her assistant, who was now running up from the back of the store with a CO2 fire extinguisher in hand. ‘WENDY, HOLD ON!’ With nerves of steel, Sandra calmly took up an isosceles stance, pulled the pin on the extinguisher, and steadied her breathing. As she took aim, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. she lined up the nozzle and Wendy pivoted around to face her, bringing Branch into sight. ‘Freeze, you pumped up piece of shit’. Branch took the full blast of the CO2 right in his gruesome little face, and the force of it took him clean off of Wendy’s back and into a stack of Mutant whey protein. Wendy fell to her knees, clutching her bloodied ear and began to sob. Suddenly, the tubs of protein began to shake. It was Branch… he was getting back up. ‘FINISH HIM!’ Wendy screamed. Sandra didn’t hesitate: she emptied the rest of the extinguisher up and down the entire length of his childlike body, freezing him where he stood. He looked every inch the ambassador for Mutant whey, posing next to the tubs like a little gargoyle with his face paralyzed in a contorted expression of fury.

Terrified that I might end up arrested and forced to pay damages, I quickly carried him out of the shop and took him to Mcdonald’s to defrost while I had lunch. After a while he began to thaw out and regain the use of his facial muscles. I’m still a man, aren’t I? He asked me. I looked down at the sorry little figure before me and couldn’t find it in my heart to tell him the truth: ‘Of course, Branch. You’re still a man.’

He looked back up at me, his eyes still filled with tears. ‘I kill wild pigs. Honest, I do!’ I was taken aback by the sudden optimism of his tone. As though he’d just revealed something so impressive that his earlier emasculation would be immediately forgotten. ’Giant ones, with huge teeth! And… and, they’re REALLY scary! I chase them down with vicious dogs! And then I take out my giant knife and I STAB THEM!’ He suddenly became very animated and leapt up excitedly, making stabbing and slashing motions at the air with an imaginary sword. ‘SWOOSH! SLASH! En Garde!’ He cried out, as he pranced around on the balls of his feet, darting in and out like a fencer.

I stared open mouthed in shock as the tiny Texan battled an imaginary giant pig in the middle of Mcdonald’s. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I noticed a few individuals turning around to look at me as though I was somehow responsible and had deliberately encouraged a physically and intellectually stunted man to put on a show for my own amusement. Before I could ask him to sit down he jumped up onto a chair, then climbed onto the table and started bellowing out a song as if he were performing in a musical:

They call him The Braaaanch!
He’s thick as a treeeeeeee!
At home on the raaaannch!
He’s bigger than theeeee!

At that point, I didn’t know what to do so I just fucking jumped up and ran straight out the door. I ran faster than I’ve ever ran in my life. My lungs were killing me but I was determined to keep going as I heard Branch shouting in the background: ‘Wait! My little legs… I can’t keep up. Why are we running? Is it a bear?’ After a few miles, when I was sure I’d lost him, I collapsed by a park bench and caught my breath. I had a stitch that felt like my stomach was being fucked by Goodrum’s giant black penis, but I didn’t care. I vowed never to speak to Branch ever again, and I’m proud to say that I never did.

[wes]

 

[Joe Valentino]

I was friends with Branch Warren many years ago. We used to train together all the time then go out for lunch afterwards. One day, I mentioned to him that I wanted to swing by the local GNC to pick up some protein supplements and vitamins, so off we went. As I was paying for the items at the counter, the middle-aged woman serving me looked at my vitamins and remarked, ‘oh, these look interesting? Have you used them before?’ I informed her that I had, and that I hadn’t suffered a cold or bout of flu in a few years now. ‘As long as you’ve got your health, that’s the main thing,’ she replied. Suddenly, Branch stepped out from behind me. ‘What the fuck did you just say?’ He growled at her. She looked puzzled and glanced at me, unsure of what to do. I’m a fucking elf, am I?’ Branch continued. He misheard her and assumed he had been mistaken for a pet elf. His well-known insecurities were about to cause a Chernobyl-like meltdown which I wasn’t at all prepared for.

‘ELVES ARE MYTHICAL BEINGS, YOU FUCKING SLAG! I’M AVERAGE HEIGHT!! LOOK AT YOUR ARMS… PROBABLY NOT EVEN TWELVE INCHES!! I’LL BENCH-PRESS YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!’

He let out a high-pitched shriek as he launched himself up over the counter, leaping on to the woman’s back and then bit down hard on her ear. She screamed in agony as she fought to shake him off, but her arms couldn’t reach back far enough to get a hold of him. She thrashed around violently, throwing herself backwards into various shelves in order to get him off of her, but with his legs wrapped around her waist, and his hands covering her eyes, she was fucked.

‘SANDRA, HELP! FUCKING HELP! THIS THING IS BITING ME!’ She cried out to her assistant, who was now running up from the back of the store with a CO2 fire extinguisher in hand. ‘WENDY, HOLD ON!’ With nerves of steel, Sandra calmly took up an isosceles stance, pulled the pin on the extinguisher, and steadied her breathing. As she took aim, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. she lined up the nozzle and Wendy pivoted around to face her, bringing Branch into sight. ‘Freeze, you pumped up piece of shit’. Branch took the full blast of the CO2 right in his gruesome little face, and the force of it took him clean off of Wendy’s back and into a stack of Mutant whey protein. Wendy fell to her knees, clutching her bloodied ear and began to sob. Suddenly, the tubs of protein began to shake. It was Branch… he was getting back up. ‘FINISH HIM!’ Wendy screamed. Sandra didn’t hesitate: she emptied the rest of the extinguisher up and down the entire length of his childlike body, freezing him where he stood. He looked every inch the ambassador for Mutant whey, posing next to the tubs like a little gargoyle with his face paralyzed in a contorted expression of fury.

Terrified that I might end up arrested and forced to pay damages, I quickly carried him out of the shop and took him to Mcdonald’s to defrost while I had lunch. After a while he began to thaw out and regain the use of his facial muscles. I’m still a man, aren’t I? He asked me. I looked down at the sorry little figure before me and couldn’t find it in my heart to tell him the truth: ‘Of course, Branch. You’re still a man.’

He looked back up at me, his eyes still filled with tears. ‘I kill wild pigs. Honest, I do!’ I was taken aback by the sudden optimism of his tone. As though he’d just revealed something so impressive that his earlier emasculation would be immediately forgotten. ’Giant ones, with huge teeth! And… and, they’re REALLY scary! I chase them down with vicious dogs! And then I take out my giant knife and I STAB THEM!’ He suddenly became very animated and leapt up excitedly, making stabbing and slashing motions at the air with an imaginary sword. ‘SWOOSH! SLASH! En Garde!’ He cried out, as he pranced around on the balls of his feet, darting in and out like a fencer.

I stared open mouthed in shock as the tiny Texan battled an imaginary giant pig in the middle of Mcdonald’s. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I noticed a few individuals turning around to look at me as though I was somehow responsible and had deliberately encouraged a physically and intellectually stunted man to put on a show for my own amusement. Before I could ask him to sit down he jumped up onto a chair, then climbed onto the table and started bellowing out a song as if he were performing in a musical:

They call him The Braaaanch!
He’s thick as a treeeeeeee!
At home on the raaaannch!
He’s bigger than theeeee!

At that point, I didn’t know what to do so I just fucking jumped up and ran straight out the door. I ran faster than I’ve ever ran in my life. My lungs were killing me but I was determined to keep going as I heard Branch shouting in the background: ‘Wait! My little legs… I can’t keep up. Why are we running? Is it a bear?’ After a few miles, when I was sure I’d lost him, I collapsed by a park bench and caught my breath. I had a stitch that felt like my stomach was being fucked by Goodrum’s giant black penis, but I didn’t care. I vowed never to speak to Branch ever again, and I’m proud to say that I never did.

FUCK!!!  Amazing story, Man

[dexitrim]

I was friends with Branch Warren many years ago. We used to train together all the time then go out for lunch afterwards. One day, I mentioned to him that I wanted to swing by the local GNC to pick up some protein supplements and vitamins, so off we went. As I was paying for the items at the counter, the middle-aged woman serving me looked at my vitamins and remarked, ‘oh, these look interesting? Have you used them before?’ I informed her that I had, and that I hadn’t suffered a cold or bout of flu in a few years now. ‘As long as you’ve got your health, that’s the main thing,’ she replied. Suddenly, Branch stepped out from behind me. ‘What the fuck did you just say?’ He growled at her. She looked puzzled and glanced at me, unsure of what to do. I’m a fucking elf, am I?’ Branch continued. He misheard her and assumed he had been mistaken for a pet elf. His well-known insecurities were about to cause a Chernobyl-like meltdown which I wasn’t at all prepared for.

‘ELVES ARE MYTHICAL BEINGS, YOU FUCKING SLAG! I’M AVERAGE HEIGHT!! LOOK AT YOUR ARMS… PROBABLY NOT EVEN TWELVE INCHES!! I’LL BENCH-PRESS YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!’

He let out a high-pitched shriek as he launched himself up over the counter, leaping on to the woman’s back and then bit down hard on her ear. She screamed in agony as she fought to shake him off, but her arms couldn’t reach back far enough to get a hold of him. She thrashed around violently, throwing herself backwards into various shelves in order to get him off of her, but with his legs wrapped around her waist, and his hands covering her eyes, she was fucked.

‘SANDRA, HELP! FUCKING HELP! THIS THING IS BITING ME!’ She cried out to her assistant, who was now running up from the back of the store with a CO2 fire extinguisher in hand. ‘WENDY, HOLD ON!’ With nerves of steel, Sandra calmly took up an isosceles stance, pulled the pin on the extinguisher, and steadied her breathing. As she took aim, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. she lined up the nozzle and Wendy pivoted around to face her, bringing Branch into sight. ‘Freeze, you pumped up piece of shit’. Branch took the full blast of the CO2 right in his gruesome little face, and the force of it took him clean off of Wendy’s back and into a stack of Mutant whey protein. Wendy fell to her knees, clutching her bloodied ear and began to sob. Suddenly, the tubs of protein began to shake. It was Branch… he was getting back up. ‘FINISH HIM!’ Wendy screamed. Sandra didn’t hesitate: she emptied the rest of the extinguisher up and down the entire length of his childlike body, freezing him where he stood. He looked every inch the ambassador for Mutant whey, posing next to the tubs like a little gargoyle with his face paralyzed in a contorted expression of fury.

Terrified that I might end up arrested and forced to pay damages, I quickly carried him out of the shop and took him to Mcdonald’s to defrost while I had lunch. After a while he began to thaw out and regain the use of his facial muscles. I’m still a man, aren’t I? He asked me. I looked down at the sorry little figure before me and couldn’t find it in my heart to tell him the truth: ‘Of course, Branch. You’re still a man.’

He looked back up at me, his eyes still filled with tears. ‘I kill wild pigs. Honest, I do!’ I was taken aback by the sudden optimism of his tone. As though he’d just revealed something so impressive that his earlier emasculation would be immediately forgotten. ’Giant ones, with huge teeth! And… and, they’re REALLY scary! I chase them down with vicious dogs! And then I take out my giant knife and I STAB THEM!’ He suddenly became very animated and leapt up excitedly, making stabbing and slashing motions at the air with an imaginary sword. ‘SWOOSH! SLASH! En Garde!’ He cried out, as he pranced around on the balls of his feet, darting in and out like a fencer.

I stared open mouthed in shock as the tiny Texan battled an imaginary giant pig in the middle of Mcdonald’s. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I noticed a few individuals turning around to look at me as though I was somehow responsible and had deliberately encouraged a physically and intellectually stunted man to put on a show for my own amusement. Before I could ask him to sit down he jumped up onto a chair, then climbed onto the table and started bellowing out a song as if he were performing in a musical:

They call him The Braaaanch!
He’s thick as a treeeeeeee!
At home on the raaaannch!
He’s bigger than theeeee!

At that point, I didn’t know what to do so I just fucking jumped up and ran straight out the door. I ran faster than I’ve ever ran in my life. My lungs were killing me but I was determined to keep going as I heard Branch shouting in the background: ‘Wait! My little legs… I can’t keep up. Why are we running? Is it a bear?’ After a few miles, when I was sure I’d lost him, I collapsed by a park bench and caught my breath. I had a stitch that felt like my stomach was being fucked by Goodrum’s giant black penis, but I didn’t care. I vowed never to speak to Branch ever again, and I’m proud to say that I never did.

+1

Bravo!

If there was a way to add to your reputation on Getbig, I'd do it.

[Tapeworm]

Great stories. I haven't got shit to offer by comparison but I'll give it a shot.

I landed a job at a youth hostel (when I was in my youth) in Bruges, Belgium. The pay was a pittance but food was free, as was the beer. I'd never done any real lifting up until then. Some may question whether I still have, but fuck em. I'd been a swimmer in even younger years and had developed a vanity which I've never been able to shake off. So after a few months of indulgence and laying around I get my ass to the local gym, walking distance from the hostel through narrow cobbled one way streets.

I walk in for the first time to join up and who should I see across the room on the leg extension but the man himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger. No, jk. Nobody there worked out or had any idea what they were doing, so I fit right in. The owner had obviously served his time tho. He was a bulked dude named Hans. Just charged you by the week.

He never hassled you or offered any advice, even though it was sorely needed. He just hung out at his mini desk by the door and watched the goings on in the gym. So I'd say hi when I walked in, and he'd say hello. But when I left and said see you tomorrow or whatever one of two things would happen. Sometimes he'd say "Ok, see you then." And it was friendly but a little distant. Alternatively, he wouldn't say anything but he'd smile approvingly and nod a few times. You got the smile and nod if you busted your ass that day.

Goofy as it was it really motivated me. Had to get the nod from big Hans.

My employer was less than enthused by my fitness aspirations.  The steak and chicken breast always needed a reorder. I was always eating, which they pointed out, and creatively nicknamed me Always Eating.

Despite my hopeless exercise selection I managed to gain a bit and looked alright. Got tons of tail at that youth hostel and even shacked up with the local hottie briefly, who was completely out of my league, much to the chagrin of the local boys.

To this day, 22 years down the road, if I catch myself half assing a workout, I think "Fuck. I wouldn't get the nod for this."

Thanks, Hans.

[wes]

Here`s a story where I was the biggest asshole in bodybuilding !

I`m usually a real mellow guy but when I get pissed off I really get pissed off.

This is one of the times where I really got pissed......I`m still pissed off about this to this fucking day actually LOL  

As most of you guys who know me from being on here for a fucking eternity are aware that I`ve done a veritable shitload of contests.

Well at most of these contests I either flew or took a bus............never liked driving far and cramping up with no food,water,rest,etc. etc.......... plus I usually travelled all by myself....... no friends,my wife hates the long drawn out hours long contests and some are held over a 2 day period so she usually stays home...........no entourage unless it was a close by local show or something like that...............it felt kind of like the loneliness of the long distance runner type of thing...............trav elling light but on a mission all by myself,but I always used this type of self  isolation during all of my contest preps to avoid disitractions and to keep me focused.

Bear with me,I know I`m rambling!

It was 2012 and I had joined gh15`s board as most of you guys know........I learned a lot of shit about using gear from some of those guy esspecially the British dudes on there.

Anyway,I never used huge dosages except when at the peak of a cycle then after a few weeks I`d taper back down to a lower dosage..........still by most standards today,I was almost completly natural.  

I was never one to rely soleley on drugs,,only used them as a training aid and as a means to an end.........I liked training too much to just be a lazy fuck and once I flipped that switch in my head,I could stick to a mean ass Spartanlike eating regimen most of the time while never cheating on my diet. With my shitty genetics I felt the need to be stricter than some guys might have been just to look credible and halfway decent on stage.

Some of these bus rides are excrutiateingly long,boring,tedious.........and the bus is full of fat smelly fucks with screaming kids.

I usually did multiple contests in a row but this year I was going for my pro-card in the NABBA USA Nationals............... ............I had seen the guy who won it last year and I knew that being 57 with my newfound knowledge of gear usage I would be hard to beat especially since I didn`t have to be huge as NABBA does height classes as opposed to weight classes........great for a smaller guy like me.

OK,I`ll get to the friggin point dammit! LOL  

The contest was in York Pa.,I had a layover in Binghampton N.Y..............when I`m changing busses I always make it a point to wait outside as busses leave and arrive and I listen intently for the announcments of the arirvals and departures because if I miss that bus,I`m completly fucked...............all that work would be for nothing.

I`m waiting in Binghampton sitting outside,I see a bus arrive going to NYC,no announcement other than departing for NYC....................s ame thing happens again a few hours later..another bus going to NYC.............meanwhil e I had inquired a zillion times when the York Pa. bus would be arriving.

After the second bus to NYC leaves I go back inside and ask again then the guy tells me that both NYC busses stop in York Pa,,mind you he never announced it and never told me this the many times I asked the fuckhead.

I was in a long line of passengers at the ticket line and I was just fucking stunned................. ...all I did for about 2 whole minutes was to stare at this fat mutherfucker behind the couner........I said nothing and he just sat there with his head down.

COFFEE

[wes]

As an aside,I had done the NABBA Nats 3 other times and the contest promoter and his wife really liked me...........we had dinner and shit like that, they were cool.

He calls me up before the show I tell him I look better than I ever had in my entire life and I`m 57 at the time been trainning since Charles Atlas was a kid.

I even had legs this time! LOL  

Honestly though for me,I looked fucking great,..............I was really impressed by how I looked and never felt quite this good about my chances of doing really well and possiblyeven winning a pro-card.

I sent him a few pics,he called me on the phone and was truly impressed by how I looked.....this further bolstered my confidence.

OK,now I`m back in line at the fucking Binghampton N.Y. bus station facing reality!

I could contain myself no longer,I whipped my 60 pound gym bag at the announcer at the ticket booth hiting him in the head/face area.

Then I went completely off...........people in lline just started scattering while I`m screaming (FUCKING HALOTESTIN AGAIN) you 12 donut eating looking fat peiceof fucking whale shit,do you know what the fuck I`ve been eating for the last 20 weeks.....of course you don`t because you eat any fucking thing you want you fat fuck.

Guy grabs a club from behind the counter......the shit just got real now because I felt like fucking him up permanantly.

So I ask him if he really wants to come at me with the club because I warn him that if he does he better kill me because all it was only gonna do was piss me off a little more than I already was.

Then 5 security guards came and escorted me out of the bus station.......I can no longer ride on any bus in the United States...............thi s is what they told me and they called me afterwards on the phone the same thing.........I told them they could fuck their busses and suck my cock.................luc ky I was sober or I would have been locked up with charges once again for sure.

THANK GOD!!

Christ I didn`t even get a chance to choke the fat bastard out or anything!!

Now I`m in Binghampton with a 60 pound gym bag on foot not knowing jackshit about the place at all..............I was so pissed but mostly very depressed...........I trained my ass off for that show!

I finally find a  hotel,get a room,look at myself in the mirror and after I took a shower to get off all the Pro-Tan all I can tell you is that I actually wept...................n ot cried but wept like Jesus or something.

I finally get back home the conest promoter calls me and asks me how come I didn1t show up at the contest............I explained the details and he tells me I would have easily won my pro-card no problem................. .after hanging up with him,I wept a litttle more.

I was the asshole but I had done worse things so it is what it is.

Last show I ever did!

[wes]

Great stories. I haven't got shit to offer by comparison but I'll give it a shot.

I landed a job at a youth hostel (when I was in my youth) in Bruges, Belgium. The pay was a pittance but food was free, as was the beer. I'd never done any real lifting up until then. Some may question whether I still have, but fuck em. I'd been a swimmer in even younger years and had developed a vanity which I've never been able to shake off. So after a few months of indulgence and laying around I get my ass to the local gym, walking distance from the hostel through narrow cobbled one way streets.

I walk in for the first time to join up and who should I see across the room on the leg extension but the man himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger. No, jk. Nobody there worked out or had any idea what they were doing, so I fit right in. The owner had obviously served his time tho. He was a bulked dude named Hans. Just charged you by the week.

He never hassled you or offered any advice, even though it was sorely needed. He just hung out at his mini desk by the door and watched the goings on in the gym. So I'd say hi when I walked in, and he'd say hello. But when I left and said see you tomorrow or whatever one of two things would happen. Sometimes he'd say "Ok, see you then." And it was friendly but a little distant. Alternatively, he wouldn't say anything but he'd smile approvingly and nod a few times. You got the smile and nod if you busted your ass that day.

Goofy as it was it really motivated me. Had to get the nod from big Hans.

My employer was less than enthused by my fitness aspirations.  The steak and chicken breast always needed a reorder. I was always eating, which they pointed out, and creatively nicknamed me Always Eating.

Despite my hopeless exercise selection I managed to gain a bit and looked alright. Got tons of tail at that youth hostel and even shacked up with the local hottie briefly, who was completely out of my league, much to the chagrin of the local boys.

To this day, 22 years down the road, if I catch myself half assing a workout, I think "Fuck. I wouldn't get the nod for this."

Thanks, Hans.

That was a damn good story Tape............everybod y needs a helping Hans at times!

[Tapeworm]

That was a damn good story Tape............everybod y needs a helping Hans at times!

Thanks bud.  Funny how some people stick with you over the years.

Fucking heartbreaking story about the NABBA. Some guys need their oxygen access canceled!

[wes]

Thanks bud.  Funny how some people stick with you over the years.

Fucking heartbreaking story about the NABBA. Some guys need their oxygen access canceled!

Yeah,I wanted to kill that guy and he swore up and down that he announced that the NYC bus would be stopping in York,but he truly never did announce it.

[Tapeworm]

If it's any consolation he's still working nights at a bus station for $7/hr and can't take his shirt off in public! Justice!!

[wes]

I guess that`ll have to work !  LOL 

[LurkerNoMore]

I was friends with Branch Warren many years ago. We used to train together all the time then go out for lunch afterwards. One day, I mentioned to him that I wanted to swing by the local GNC to pick up some protein supplements and vitamins, so off we went. As I was paying for the items at the counter, the middle-aged woman serving me looked at my vitamins and remarked, ‘oh, these look interesting? Have you used them before?’ I informed her that I had, and that I hadn’t suffered a cold or bout of flu in a few years now. ‘As long as you’ve got your health, that’s the main thing,’ she replied. Suddenly, Branch stepped out from behind me. ‘What the fuck did you just say?’ He growled at her. She looked puzzled and glanced at me, unsure of what to do. I’m a fucking elf, am I?’ Branch continued. He misheard her and assumed he had been mistaken for a pet elf. His well-known insecurities were about to cause a Chernobyl-like meltdown which I wasn’t at all prepared for.

‘ELVES ARE MYTHICAL BEINGS, YOU FUCKING SLAG! I’M AVERAGE HEIGHT!! LOOK AT YOUR ARMS… PROBABLY NOT EVEN TWELVE INCHES!! I’LL BENCH-PRESS YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!’

He let out a high-pitched shriek as he launched himself up over the counter, leaping on to the woman’s back and then bit down hard on her ear. She screamed in agony as she fought to shake him off, but her arms couldn’t reach back far enough to get a hold of him. She thrashed around violently, throwing herself backwards into various shelves in order to get him off of her, but with his legs wrapped around her waist, and his hands covering her eyes, she was fucked.

‘SANDRA, HELP! FUCKING HELP! THIS THING IS BITING ME!’ She cried out to her assistant, who was now running up from the back of the store with a CO2 fire extinguisher in hand. ‘WENDY, HOLD ON!’ With nerves of steel, Sandra calmly took up an isosceles stance, pulled the pin on the extinguisher, and steadied her breathing. As she took aim, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. she lined up the nozzle and Wendy pivoted around to face her, bringing Branch into sight. ‘Freeze, you pumped up piece of shit’. Branch took the full blast of the CO2 right in his gruesome little face, and the force of it took him clean off of Wendy’s back and into a stack of Mutant whey protein. Wendy fell to her knees, clutching her bloodied ear and began to sob. Suddenly, the tubs of protein began to shake. It was Branch… he was getting back up. ‘FINISH HIM!’ Wendy screamed. Sandra didn’t hesitate: she emptied the rest of the extinguisher up and down the entire length of his childlike body, freezing him where he stood. He looked every inch the ambassador for Mutant whey, posing next to the tubs like a little gargoyle with his face paralyzed in a contorted expression of fury.

Terrified that I might end up arrested and forced to pay damages, I quickly carried him out of the shop and took him to Mcdonald’s to defrost while I had lunch. After a while he began to thaw out and regain the use of his facial muscles. I’m still a man, aren’t I? He asked me. I looked down at the sorry little figure before me and couldn’t find it in my heart to tell him the truth: ‘Of course, Branch. You’re still a man.’

He looked back up at me, his eyes still filled with tears. ‘I kill wild pigs. Honest, I do!’ I was taken aback by the sudden optimism of his tone. As though he’d just revealed something so impressive that his earlier emasculation would be immediately forgotten. ’Giant ones, with huge teeth! And… and, they’re REALLY scary! I chase them down with vicious dogs! And then I take out my giant knife and I STAB THEM!’ He suddenly became very animated and leapt up excitedly, making stabbing and slashing motions at the air with an imaginary sword. ‘SWOOSH! SLASH! En Garde!’ He cried out, as he pranced around on the balls of his feet, darting in and out like a fencer.

I stared open mouthed in shock as the tiny Texan battled an imaginary giant pig in the middle of Mcdonald’s. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I noticed a few individuals turning around to look at me as though I was somehow responsible and had deliberately encouraged a physically and intellectually stunted man to put on a show for my own amusement. Before I could ask him to sit down he jumped up onto a chair, then climbed onto the table and started bellowing out a song as if he were performing in a musical:

They call him The Braaaanch!
He’s thick as a treeeeeeee!
At home on the raaaannch!
He’s bigger than theeeee!

At that point, I didn’t know what to do so I just fucking jumped up and ran straight out the door. I ran faster than I’ve ever ran in my life. My lungs were killing me but I was determined to keep going as I heard Branch shouting in the background: ‘Wait! My little legs… I can’t keep up. Why are we running? Is it a bear?’ After a few miles, when I was sure I’d lost him, I collapsed by a park bench and caught my breath. I had a stitch that felt like my stomach was being fucked by Goodrum’s giant black penis, but I didn’t care. I vowed never to speak to Branch ever again, and I’m proud to say that I never did.

LOL!!!

[wes]

Hey guys I was just wrtiting up another great story that I wanted to share with you..................it was lost all of a sudden...........no clue as o why but I`ll redo it tomorrow as I know some of you guys will really like it.

It involves a guy in our gym that had a near death experience with a 760 pound squat.

My PC is fucking up lately.................. as I`ve stated I type with one fucking finger and was cranking this story out and  'POOF' it was gone.

Stay tuned I got more pretty good stuff if you guys are interested,and if not let me know and I`ll quit trying to write  anything that bores youguys.

After the squatting incedent I alluded to, I plan on talking about how I met Chris Dickerson,Bill Grant..Jeff Poulin,Claude Rigon,Elliot Gilchrist Leon Brown,and a cool kind of story about looking for Mike Katz in New Haven Ct. back in the day................NOTIC E I SAID A COOL KIND OF STORY ........YOU`LL GET IT ONCE YOU READ IT.

Some of the above names will not be familiar to some younger cats here but look them up at musclemeory.com and you`ll see they were pretty great boybuilders.

Sorry about losing the story because it`s a good one that involves a serious strong freak named Bill Tolliver and his 760 pound squat,but no problem writing it over again.

I`ll get to it tomorrow as my typing finger is almost as tired as my jerking off hand !!

Did I say that  

Keep in touch with yourself and let me know if I should continue along these lines........I`m talking some serious bodybuilders here..

Again give me the YAY OR NAY on whether you want more or just want me to shut the fuck up for once..............also how I met Jeff King,Artie Prince,Joe Gomes,Rich Roy,Matt Dufresne,Larry Tyler,Pat Hayes,and a bunch of other psychos and some good stuff about each one  of them..........pus WWE wrestlers at our gym with Ted Arcidi.

Then IFBB pros Bill Grant,Jeff Poulin,Danny Padilla,Elliot Gilchrist,Dave Marinelli,and more............even got a short story about Bob Bednarski Olympic weighlifter in mind.

If you don`t recognize these even younger names hit musclemory.com again as I`m talking some very serious bodybuilders who were legendary in their day.

[AbrahamG]

I was friends with Branch Warren many years ago. We used to train together all the time then go out for lunch afterwards. One day, I mentioned to him that I wanted to swing by the local GNC to pick up some protein supplements and vitamins, so off we went. As I was paying for the items at the counter, the middle-aged woman serving me looked at my vitamins and remarked, ‘oh, these look interesting? Have you used them before?’ I informed her that I had, and that I hadn’t suffered a cold or bout of flu in a few years now. ‘As long as you’ve got your health, that’s the main thing,’ she replied. Suddenly, Branch stepped out from behind me. ‘What the fuck did you just say?’ He growled at her. She looked puzzled and glanced at me, unsure of what to do. I’m a fucking elf, am I?’ Branch continued. He misheard her and assumed he had been mistaken for a pet elf. His well-known insecurities were about to cause a Chernobyl-like meltdown which I wasn’t at all prepared for.

‘ELVES ARE MYTHICAL BEINGS, YOU FUCKING SLAG! I’M AVERAGE HEIGHT!! LOOK AT YOUR ARMS… PROBABLY NOT EVEN TWELVE INCHES!! I’LL BENCH-PRESS YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!’

He let out a high-pitched shriek as he launched himself up over the counter, leaping on to the woman’s back and then bit down hard on her ear. She screamed in agony as she fought to shake him off, but her arms couldn’t reach back far enough to get a hold of him. She thrashed around violently, throwing herself backwards into various shelves in order to get him off of her, but with his legs wrapped around her waist, and his hands covering her eyes, she was fucked.

‘SANDRA, HELP! FUCKING HELP! THIS THING IS BITING ME!’ She cried out to her assistant, who was now running up from the back of the store with a CO2 fire extinguisher in hand. ‘WENDY, HOLD ON!’ With nerves of steel, Sandra calmly took up an isosceles stance, pulled the pin on the extinguisher, and steadied her breathing. As she took aim, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. she lined up the nozzle and Wendy pivoted around to face her, bringing Branch into sight. ‘Freeze, you pumped up piece of shit’. Branch took the full blast of the CO2 right in his gruesome little face, and the force of it took him clean off of Wendy’s back and into a stack of Mutant whey protein. Wendy fell to her knees, clutching her bloodied ear and began to sob. Suddenly, the tubs of protein began to shake. It was Branch… he was getting back up. ‘FINISH HIM!’ Wendy screamed. Sandra didn’t hesitate: she emptied the rest of the extinguisher up and down the entire length of his childlike body, freezing him where he stood. He looked every inch the ambassador for Mutant whey, posing next to the tubs like a little gargoyle with his face paralyzed in a contorted expression of fury.

Terrified that I might end up arrested and forced to pay damages, I quickly carried him out of the shop and took him to Mcdonald’s to defrost while I had lunch. After a while he began to thaw out and regain the use of his facial muscles. I’m still a man, aren’t I? He asked me. I looked down at the sorry little figure before me and couldn’t find it in my heart to tell him the truth: ‘Of course, Branch. You’re still a man.’

He looked back up at me, his eyes still filled with tears. ‘I kill wild pigs. Honest, I do!’ I was taken aback by the sudden optimism of his tone. As though he’d just revealed something so impressive that his earlier emasculation would be immediately forgotten. ’Giant ones, with huge teeth! And… and, they’re REALLY scary! I chase them down with vicious dogs! And then I take out my giant knife and I STAB THEM!’ He suddenly became very animated and leapt up excitedly, making stabbing and slashing motions at the air with an imaginary sword. ‘SWOOSH! SLASH! En Garde!’ He cried out, as he pranced around on the balls of his feet, darting in and out like a fencer.

I stared open mouthed in shock as the tiny Texan battled an imaginary giant pig in the middle of Mcdonald’s. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I noticed a few individuals turning around to look at me as though I was somehow responsible and had deliberately encouraged a physically and intellectually stunted man to put on a show for my own amusement. Before I could ask him to sit down he jumped up onto a chair, then climbed onto the table and started bellowing out a song as if he were performing in a musical:

They call him The Braaaanch!
He’s thick as a treeeeeeee!
At home on the raaaannch!
He’s bigger than theeeee!

At that point, I didn’t know what to do so I just fucking jumped up and ran straight out the door. I ran faster than I’ve ever ran in my life. My lungs were killing me but I was determined to keep going as I heard Branch shouting in the background: ‘Wait! My little legs… I can’t keep up. Why are we running? Is it a bear?’ After a few miles, when I was sure I’d lost him, I collapsed by a park bench and caught my breath. I had a stitch that felt like my stomach was being fucked by Goodrum’s giant black penis, but I didn’t care. I vowed never to speak to Branch ever again, and I’m proud to say that I never did.

Great fucking story.  My cheekbones hurt from laughing so hard.

[Tapeworm]

Hey guys I was just wrtiting up another great story that I wanted to share with you..................it was lost all of a sudden...........no clue as o why but I`ll redo it tomorrow as I know some of you guys will really like it.

It involves a guy in our gym that had a near death experience with a 760 pound squat.

My PC is fucking up lately.................. as I`ve stated I type with one fucking finger and was cranking this story out and  'POOF' it was gone.

Stay tuned I got more pretty good stuff if you guys are interested,and if not let me know and I`ll quit trying to write  anything that bores youguys.

After the squatting incedent I alluded to, I plan on talking about how I met Chris Dickerson,Bill Grant..Jeff Poulin,Claude Rigon,Elliot Gilchrist Leon Brown,and a cool kind of story about looking for Mike Katz in New Haven Ct. back in the day................NOTIC E I SAID A COOL KIND OF STORY ........YOU`LL GET IT ONCE YOU READ IT.

Some of the above names will not be familiar to some younger cats here but look them up at musclemeory.com and you`ll see they were pretty great boybuilders.

Sorry about losing the story because it`s a good one that involves a serious strong freak named Bill Tolliver and his 760 pound squat,but no problem writing it over again.

I`ll get to it tomorrow as my typing finger is almost as tired as my jerking off hand !!

Did I say that  

Keep in touch with yourself and let me know if I should continue along these lines........I`m talking some serious bodybuilders here..

Again give me the YAY OR NAY on whether you want more or just want me to shut the fuck up for once..............also how I met Jeff King,Artie Prince,Joe Gomes,Rich Roy,Matt Dufresne,Larry Tyler,Pat Hayes,and a bunch of other psychos and some good stuff about each one  of them..........pus WWE wrestlers at our gym with Ted Arcidi.

Then IFBB pros Bill Grant,Jeff Poulin,Danny Padilla,Elliot Gilchrist,Dave Marinelli,and more............even got a short story about Bob Bednarski Olympic weighlifter in mind.

If you don`t recognize these even younger names hit musclemory.com again as I`m talking some very serious bodybuilders who were legendary in their day.

Bring it!

[wes]

Cool.......thanks Tape.  

[Primemuscle]

Here`s a story where I was the biggest asshole in bodybuilding !

I`m usually a real mellow guy but when I get pissed off I really get pissed off.

This is one of the times where I really got pissed......I`m still pissed off about this to this fucking day actually LOL  

As most of you guys who know me from being on here for a fucking eternity are aware that I`ve done a veritable shitload of contests.

Well at most of these contests I either flew or took a bus............never liked driving far and cramping up with no food,water,rest,etc. etc.......... plus I usually travelled all by myself....... no friends,my wife hates the long drawn out hours long contests and some are held over a 2 day period so she usually stays home...........no entourage unless it was a close by local show or something like that...............it felt kind of like the loneliness of the long distance runner type of thing...............trav elling light but on a mission all by myself,but I always used this type of self  isolation during all of my contest preps to avoid disitractions and to keep me focused.

Bear with me,I know I`m rambling!

It was 2012 and I had joined gh15`s board as most of you guys know........I learned a lot of shit about using gear from some of those guy esspecially the British dudes on there.

Anyway,I never used huge dosages except when at the peak of a cycle then after a few weeks I`d taper back down to a lower dosage..........still by most standards today,I was almost completly natural.  

I was never one to rely soleley on drugs,,only used them as a training aid and as a means to an end.........I liked training too much to just be a lazy fuck and once I flipped that switch in my head,I could stick to a mean ass Spartanlike eating regimen most of the time while never cheating on my diet. With my shitty genetics I felt the need to be stricter than some guys might have been just to look credible and halfway decent on stage.

Some of these bus rides are excrutiateingly long,boring,tedious.........and the bus is full of fat smelly fucks with screaming kids.

I usually did multiple contests in a row but this year I was going for my pro-card in the NABBA USA Nationals............... ............I had seen the guy who won it last year and I knew that being 57 with my newfound knowledge of gear usage I would be hard to beat especially since I didn`t have to be huge as NABBA does height classes as opposed to weight classes........great for a smaller guy like me.

OK,I`ll get to the friggin point dammit! LOL  

The contest was in York Pa.,I had a layover in Binghampton N.Y..............when I`m changing busses I always make it a point to wait outside as busses leave and arrive and I listen intently for the announcments of the arirvals and departures because if I miss that bus,I`m completly fucked...............all that work would be for nothing.

I`m waiting in Binghampton sitting outside,I see a bus arrive going to NYC,no announcement other than departing for NYC....................s ame thing happens again a few hours later..another bus going to NYC.............meanwhil e I had inquired a zillion times when the York Pa. bus would be arriving.

After the second bus to NYC leaves I go back inside and ask again then the guy tells me that both NYC busses stop in York Pa,,mind you he never announced it and never told me this the many times I asked the fuckhead.

I was in a long line of passengers at the ticket line and I was just fucking stunned................. ...all I did for about 2 whole minutes was to stare at this fat mutherfucker behind the couner........I said nothing and he just sat there with his head down.

COFFEE

This is a well written and interesting story. I was expecting a bigger ending though. But, non-fiction is real life. Not everything ends with a bang in reality. To my way of thinking you weren't the biggest asshole. The guy selling the tickets was.