What are the signs of obsessive love?
Obsessive love can be differentiated from a healthy love relationship by having addictive qualities. For example, the person who suffers from obsessive love tends to want to spend excessive time with their love object, such that they think excessively about and engage in behaviors that put them in touch with their love object to an extreme degree. They may limit how much they engage in recreational activities or other social relationships, even becoming incapacitated to the point of being unable to work. A person who obsessively loves may engage in escalating tools of psychological control, or other forms of control, in an effort to keep their love object close. Examples of that include controlling money or food and in extreme cases, stalking or using violence. The individual who is obsessively in love, as well as the object of that love, may be dependent and codependent on each other, respectively. The person who loves obsessively may behave as if addicted to their love object. In turn, the object of obsessive love may have difficulty setting clear limits and boundaries on the obsessive behaviors.
Suffering from obsessive love may include the following:
Low self-esteem/a tendency of needing excessive reassurance
Obsessively talking about their loved object
Making repeated calls, texts, and/or faxes to the love object
Unwanted intensive attention to the love object
A tendency to have extremely good or bad (not balanced) feelings about someone
A tendency to focus on only the positive or the negative aspects of their loved one
Trouble focusing on work, recreation, socializing, or other aspects of their lives outside of the object of their affection
Attempts to monitor or otherwise control their love object's life and activities
Excessive joy, to the point of relief, when able to get in touch with or be with their love object
