Agreed, 100%
I suffered (still suffer) with mental challenges - constant internal dialogues, over analyzing of comments people make, or their tone, fuck it destroyed my life. I drank for YEARS, to slow my mind down, I drank to the point where for the last 5 years I was drinking 30 cans of BudLight and a small 1/2 pint of vodka every day. I held down jobs, attended school etc. The alcohol destroyed my body, I had constant gout, high blood pressure etc.
This morning at 5:30 am in the pouring cold rain I set a new personal best running, my life has totally changed and I owe it in part to marijuana edibles. I eat 100mg per day ( I break it down in 25 or 50 mg - 4 to 2 times a day ) and my mind is calm, I focus on positive things, stretch and enjoy life. I am not advocating use of marijuana for anyone at all and I don't think anyone under 21 should use it. It costs me $3.00 a day and It has changed my life ( 3 years 5 months without a drop ) and the cessation of drinking was natural - I just stopped drinking.
J
I haven’t told many people and since we’re talking about Luke’s (among others) depression but on Wednesday I encountered a traumatic experience that triggered several other traumatic experiences from my past including one that happened 33 years ago that’s still very vivid almost on a daily basis...
A surfer died in the water on Wednesday morning in front of my house, we tried to save him but failed. We think he had a heart attack in the water. He was out there floating past the breakwater, there were already two surfers out there, I swam out to help pull We think he had a heart attack in the water. He was out there for floating, pulled him in and started CPR until the lifeguards, paramedics and police came...we lost him.
We worked on him for about 20-30min even while the lifeguards, paramedics and police were there. We knew he was probably gone before we pulled him to shore. We were essentially working on a deceased man but still kept trying.
33 years ago I was working at a Chinese, Vietnamese and Korean night club in LA, it was a neutral zone for rival Asian gangs. Security consisted of off duty cops, all armed and we all very close friends. One night one of the gang members asked us if we could let his “cousin” in. We let him but he was warned if he drank he have to leave. Of course we caught him drinking, kicked him and he threatened to come back and kill us. We got that shit all the time and took it with a grain of salt.
1:45am I’m just inside the front entrance, Henry (Asian off duty Marshal) was at the back of the corridor, the guy we kicked out took a three point stance, one shot went about 3” above my head into the wall, three went into Henry, he dove behind a wall, I pulled his gun from his holster, myself and the other two off duty cops ran out in the middle of Valley Blvd shooting at the car, we hit the car but he got away. We ran in and Henry was a mess. He gave his dying declaration to all three of us. He was transported and died on the operating table, Doctor said he was shot with hollow points and there was nothing they could have done. His insides were destroyed beyond repair.
I (like many) have dealt with death a lot with family members and friends. I know those that have been in war, police, fire, hospital workers, etc see it all the time but traumatic episodes stick with you and I don’t think it something to get used too. Maybe at the time if you’ve seen it enough it might not bother you as much but from the cops and military that I’ve spoken too, it eventually catches up.
Even with what I’ve witnessed, I’ve had periods of depression and to this day still have night terrors. I can only imagine what others have gone through that have seen worse.
