Should I buy a $4000 espresso machine?

[Tapeworm]

Looking at the Lelit Bianca. Probably a Eureka grinder.

Are there coffee nuts here?

[Mr Anabolic]

Save yourself $3994...

[Griffith]

That's quite a machine.

[Tapeworm]

Believe it or not you can spend way more on a 'prosumer' unit. Brands like La Marzocco have you paying just for the name imo. Londinium and Slayer are even pricier. Way pricier.

The Bianca incorporated a control valve that lets the user profile the flow according to the pressure gauge. You can do long pre-infusions for light roasts, mimic the hand pump flow found on machines like Londinium where you physically pull the lever to create pressure (which is why coffee snobs call making espresso 'pulling a shot'), and it's done manually so you're not at the mercy of a programmed profile like you would be on a Decent and other computerized machines. In that sense it's beyond barista.

I'm tempted. Flat burr grinders with minimal grounds retention go from $1k-$2.5k, and you need one of those too.. That is just to grind coffee beans. Yeah, it does seem like a sanity check moment.

None of our millionaires are home baristas?

[FitnessFrenzy]

try to find a used one. They must depreciate like crazy?

[oldtimer1]

$4000 on a coffee machine?  Do you drive a $200K car and live in a 2 million dollar house?  If you do then go for it. Those 20K refrigerators like the one Pelosi owns are nice too.

[Grape Ape]

Yes, you should.

Just so the following conversation will happen:

"Hey, check out my new $4,000 espresso machine"

"Wow, I know you were thinking about it, what made you pull the trigger?"

"Some guy named Grape Ape on the internet said so"

[Tapeworm]

try to find a used one. They must depreciate like crazy?

Nice if I could but apparently no one ever sells them since they just came out in 2018 and there's really nothing to upgrade to in the small volume, personal use world.

 I've seen multi head machines at restaurant supply auctions which would certainly be double boiler (because you need different temperature water for making espresso than for frothing milk). It's occurred to me to take a crack at them and even try to retrofit my own flow control valve but they have a massive countertop footprint. What the heck do I want with 3 or 4 group heads? Nevertheless, I've been tempted to go completely off the reservation, rip one apart, pretend to be the boilermaker, fabricator, electrician, and carpenter I'm not, and build it in to the kitchen cabinetry. That'd be fucking cool.

[Griffith]

How are the Lavazza espresso machines?

[Tapeworm]

$4000 on a coffee machine?  Do you drive a $200K car and live in a 2 million dollar house?  If you do then go for it. Those 20K refrigerators like the one Pelosi owns are nice too.

Almost. I drive a year 2000 Isuzu truck which I purchased at a machinery auction for $13,000. But it has 4 wheel drive and is mechanically sound, except for the radiator which is going to cost me money soon, since having to pour a half a coke bottle of coolant into it each morning is getting kinda old, what with having to tip the cab forward in order to do it.

My house could conceivably be worth 2 mil one day, if I ever find time for earthworks and landscaping. The view is exceptional but the land is raw. You can barely get a quad over it. Upside, every boulder and rock I need for retaining and walling is right there. Ah, granite. People pay good money for that. I've got it all for free. Shouldn't take more than a few thousand hours with the backhoe.

That's what I need the espresso for!

[Tapeworm]

Yes, you should.

Just so the following conversation will happen:

"Hey, check out my new $4,000 espresso machine"

"Wow, I know you were thinking about it, what made you pull the trigger?"

"Some guy named Grape Ape on the internet said so"

She's heard of you already. Apparently, 'Because I didn't want to be a Y Board ninja, darling' sounds like an unlikely, shortdick excuse to women who got stuck with drywall contractors.

[BB]

How important is coffee to you, and how is the lifespan on these things? If you like it, buy it, just make sure you'll really enjoy the thing. I see $4000 on a espresso machine, and I think "Egads!", but if you figure in the cost of a good espresso, etc.... once or a few times a day, it will pay for itself in a few years.

[chaos]

Looking at the Lelit Bianca. Probably a Eureka grinder.

Are there coffee nuts here?

Gay

[BB]

My house could conceivably be worth 2 mil one day, if I ever find time for earthworks and landscaping.

I read this really fast as "earthworms", and it made me really happy for a few seconds. Think about it, a man outside with his espresso and earthworms, not a care in the world, master of every night crawler he surveys.....

[The Scott]

Live And Let Die (1973)

It’s very early in the morning and Bond is tucked up in his London apartment with a lovely Italian agent, when the doorbell rings. It’s M. Three ‘00’ agents have been killed in the last 24 hours and Bond must establish a connection.

“Coffee, Sir?”  he says, and proceeds to his La Pavoni espresso machine. He grinds the beans, connects the portafilter and brews, by pulling the lever, forcing the hot water through the coffee.  Pulling the lever, adjusting the controls, frothing the milk, the steaming … the whole operation takes a while and looks like priming an engine. It’s quite a ceremony. “Is that all it does?” quips M sarcastically, as Bond gives him the cup.

You only live twice...If this purchase satisfies you and is financially within your reach (read: does NOT put you in financial straits, etc.), think WWB..JB..D and then do as you desire, sir.

[oldtimer1]

Live And Let Die (1973)

It’s very early in the morning and Bond is tucked up in his London apartment with a lovely Italian agent, when the doorbell rings. It’s M. Three ‘00’ agents have been killed in the last 24 hours and Bond must establish a connection.

“Coffee, Sir?”  he says, and proceeds to his La Pavoni espresso machine. He grinds the beans, connects the portafilter and brews, by pulling the lever, forcing the hot water through the coffee.  Pulling the lever, adjusting the controls, frothing the milk, the steaming … the whole operation takes a while and looks like priming an engine. It’s quite a ceremony. “Is that all it does?” quips M sarcastically, as Bond gives him the cup.

You only live twice...If this purchase satisfies you and is financially within your reach (read: does NOT put you in financial straits, etc.), think WWB..JB..D and then do as you desire, sir.

Quoted for truth

[Walter Sobchak]

That's quite a machine.

Looks like something XFagtor would own and GoFagIt would come over and operate.

[Tapeworm]

How are the Lavazza espresso machines?

They haven't blipped my radar but I just had a quick google. I wouldn't go anywhere near a pod machine where the coffee comes pre-ground in a tea bag thing. The stuff that makes coffee yummy are generated during roasting and are volitile, so they'll all just evaporate away into the air pretty quick from beans that are ground up into tiny bits and put in a tea bag. You might have noticed how strongly your kitchen smells like coffee for a day right after opening a new bag of pre-ground coffee, but a few days later the bag doesn't fill the room with aroma anymore.

If I was going to go for a low-investment system, I'd probably go for a low cost grinder which is totally fine for anything but pressure extracted espresso and a plunger 'french press' style maker. You get to control the water temperature and residence time. If you have a coffee roaster near you, purists say that beans roasted in the last couple weeks are best since oxidation takes it's toll over time. You will make awesome coffee with fresh beans, ground right before use, in a plunger.

Drip style 'Mr. Coffee' makers are horrendously inefficient extractors imo. You get to control nothing. They are the US favorite, everybody got one, and not at all the way to go. I have a soft spot for them, since I grew up with them and they're a beacon in the darkness on every road trip or early morning start at service stations and convenience stores, but they are just a goddamn awful way to make a cup of joe.

[Walter Sobchak]

They haven't blipped my radar but I just had a quick google. I wouldn't go anywhere near a pod machine where the coffee comes pre-ground in a tea bag thing. The stuff that makes coffee yummy are generated during roasting and are volitile, so they'll all just evaporate away into the air pretty quick from beans that are ground up into tiny bits and put in a tea bag. You might have noticed how strongly your kitchen smells like coffee for a day right after opening a new bag of pre-ground coffee, but a few days later the bag doesn't fill the room with aroma anymore.

If I was going to go for a low-investment system, I'd probably go for a low cost grinder which is totally fine for anything but pressure extracted espresso and a plunger 'french press' style maker. You get to control the water temperature and residence time. If you have a coffee roaster near you, purists say that beans roasted in the last couple weeks are best since oxidation takes it's toll over time. You will make awesome coffee with fresh beans, ground right before use, in a plunger.

Drip style 'Mr. Coffee' makers are horrendously inefficient extractors imo. You get to control nothing. They are the US favorite, everybody got one, and not at all the way to go. I have a soft spot for them, since I grew up with them and they're a beacon in the darkness on every road trip or early morning start at service stations and convenience stores, but they are just a goddamn awful way to make a cup of joe.

Holy fuck...did Mutt Canning steal this account?

[French]

wait for blackfriday and buy this one instead

https://www.forceusa.com/products/g20-commercial

[SOMEPARTS]

Almost. I drive a year 2000 Isuzu truck which I purchased at a machinery auction for $13,000. But it has 4 wheel drive and is mechanically sound, except for the radiator which is going to cost me money soon, since having to pour a half a coke bottle of coolant into it each morning is getting kinda old, what with having to tip the cab forward in order to do it.

My house could conceivably be worth 2 mil one day, if I ever find time for earthworks and landscaping. The view is exceptional but the land is raw. You can barely get a quad over it. Upside, every boulder and rock I need for retaining and walling is right there. Ah, granite. People pay good money for that. I've got it all for free. Shouldn't take more than a few thousand hours with the backhoe.

That's what I need the espresso for!

You could have just said "no" to the question. 

Also...gayer than a $4,000 espresso machine.

[Tapeworm]

How important is coffee to you, and how is the lifespan on these things? If you like it, buy it, just make sure you'll really enjoy the thing. I see $4000 on a espresso machine, and I think "Egads!", but if you figure in the cost of a good espresso, etc.... once or a few times a day, it will pay for itself in a few years.

Reviews are pretty positive. Everything scales up with magnesium and calcium if you're careless. And you just gotta descale periodically.

Interestingly (or boringly to the thread tortured), you actually need a certain minimum mineral content in your coffee water to make a decent cup. Distilled water, which is ideal for the unit, makes shit coffee. It doesn't extract flavors well.

[Tapeworm]

Gay

You get that land or what, workingclass?

[Tapeworm]

Live And Let Die (1973)

It’s very early in the morning and Bond is tucked up in his London apartment with a lovely Italian agent, when the doorbell rings. It’s M. Three ‘00’ agents have been killed in the last 24 hours and Bond must establish a connection.

“Coffee, Sir?”  he says, and proceeds to his La Pavoni espresso machine. He grinds the beans, connects the portafilter and brews, by pulling the lever, forcing the hot water through the coffee.  Pulling the lever, adjusting the controls, frothing the milk, the steaming … the whole operation takes a while and looks like priming an engine. It’s quite a ceremony. “Is that all it does?” quips M sarcastically, as Bond gives him the cup.

You only live twice...If this purchase satisfies you and is financially within your reach (read: does NOT put you in financial straits, etc.), think WWB..JB..D and then do as you desire, sir.

This dream is for you,
So pay the price.
Make one dream come true.
You only live twice.

Best Bond song ever.

[Tapeworm]

Holy fuck...did Mutt Canning steal this account?

The juden did it.

You could have just said "no" to the question. 

Also...gayer than a $4,000 espresso machine.

So you admit a $4000 espresso machine isn't the pinnacle of gay.

Try this. You can buy a bean grinder from a company called Monolith. It's like $2500. To grind coffee beans. They're in Seattle. So they're probably liberals. Idk if I trust a machinist with purple hair.