Bhank, sorry you are feeling poorly.
You might want to change your handle to Yo-yo because that's what you've been doing lately. It's getting difficult to keep up. One day your all hyped up on getting bulked up no matter what it takes. Youu end up making yourself sick and then you go overboard trying to loose the water weight, which everyone but you seems to know is not real weight anyway. This might be too much logic for you, but slow and easy might actually do something to help you achieve the goal you seek of being both big and cut.