Why whatever I bench won’t be enough you guys will talk shut so I will bench more and that could lead to another pec tear which I am simply not going to risk for anything the tendon is still attached and I plan to keep it that way
So:
Filming decidedly mediocre squats is okay, even though you must know you'll be roasted for it?
Logic fails you here.
Also, you're worried about ripping a pec because IF a bench video was poorly received, you'd be so stirred up by the backlash, you'd film yourself attempting dangerous weights...why?
You're all but admitting you're desperately seeking approval from a bunch of strangers. At your age, and given your ostensible claims of great intellect, you should be light years beyond such a blatant need for external approval. That and your constant self-proclamations of being so big, so tough, so attractive and so strong make me think you are up to your 19" neck in a midlife crisis.