Depression, Panic and Anxiety

[djliftsthings]

Couple members talked to me about their mental health issues so I thought Id do a post on my situation and how I came to get panic and anxiety in check. I wont really comment on depression cause thats a whole other ball game in my opinion. Could be a long post.

Im bipolar with antisocial personality disorder. My meds are paxil and divalproex for 22 years, and in those 22 years Ive missed a grand total of 4 days of meds. Im religious with them. They help for sure, but the biggest thing I learned is dont count on just the pills to get panic and anxiety in check.

Got my first panic attack in 1999, infuckingsane shit, had no idea what was happening. Voices in my head telling me to kill myself, heart beating through my chest, everything spinning around me, if you have never had one you cant even comprehend how scary one of these is, especially when  you dont know what they are.  From August to October 1999 I had intermittent panic attacks 16 hours a day and lost 60 pounds in that time, eventually ending up in the psych ward near death for a 3 month stay. Got out of the psych ward and still had the attacks but more like one a week.

Anyways, still having them in 2005 I was getting another one in June of 2005 and just said "fuk it, if its gonna kill  me let it happen, and if not lets get this attack shit over with so I can move on". That was literally the last time I ever had an out of nowhere panic attack, and to this day I believe psychologically knowing they wont kill you and really are just a shitty inconvenience is the biggest step by far. Ive had 3 attacks in the last 16 years, but I know that 2 were from being brutally sick, my immune system was in the shitter I was so sick and my body was in panic. The 1 other time was because I drank like 2 litres of coca cola on an empty stomach and duh had a massive caffeine sugar induced panic attack. I ended up in the hospital that night and the nurse asked me "did you take coke"? and I said ya lots, 2 litres at least. She laughed and I was confused. It all worked out.

I rode the anxiety train big time up until a few years ago. The biggest thing I learned about anxiety is my anxiety is directly correlated to what I eat. If I eat processed foods, especially msg or spices I will blow up with anxiety. Also, and this is huge, histamine causing and histamine containing foods will 100% bring on  anxiety if you eat too much of them. Its like a barrel of histamine in your gut and when it flows over you will have brutal anxiety. I eat really plain other than my quarter pounder meal twice a week. Glutamine, sugar, caffeine and other garbage will cause anxiety.  If you have anxiety look up histamine releasing foods and foods containing histamine, its a major major cause.  I would estimate 95% of any anxiety I have had is food related. I also take Vitamins B,C,D, Omega 3, and a probiotic which no doubt have assisted me in not having anxiety. It all starts in the gut, no doubt about it.

I cant comment on life and personal issues causing anxiety as I have a really low stress life other than living below the poverty line, but thats minor, I make it work.

other than that, sorry for the long post. If anyone on here has any questions about this stuff ask away or pm me. I may come across as a nutjob on here, but in reality I think I have handled my mental illness pretty damn good. Even my counsellor said I was a major success story at mental health regina for where I was and where I am now

[joswift]

Feel for you pal

Had some struggles myself last couple years due to having to spend 3 weeks in hospital with an operation they fucked up nearly killing me.
the following two years I spiralled out of control, depression isnt something thats easy to explain.
Im still taking Citalopram at the moment and the occasional diazipam to help me sleep.

Its always lurking around the corner though...

[bLuEeYes]

I guess you are right. The only times I had panic attacks were when I smoked alot of weeds or smoked it while already worried. Then I tought I'll die or I'll go crazy because of it and the attack began. When I became used to it, I knew I was safe, that I won't die or go crazy just because I'm feeling high.

We feel anxious only because we do not accept our certain death fate. Once we accept it, do not get bothered by it, we don't have anxiety. As for depression, I think it's an anger we do not let go toward the people who are responsible for getting us angry. Internalizing emotions does bad stuffs to people.

To me, the best way to deal with mental health is to talk to people you don't know about it. Either a professional or some strange guy on omegle etc .Then just read a bunch of old psychology/psychoanalysis books and studies ( Not the shit you'll find on dailymail.co or some shady fags website) and get in touch with yourself, because the missing key to the cure is within you. A perfect understanding of oneself lead to a realm of calm and control.

[djliftsthings]

I guess you are right. The only times I had panic attacks were when I smoked alot of weeds or smoked it while already worried. Then I tought I'll die or I'll go crazy because of it and the attack began. When I became used to it, I knew I was safe, that I won't die or go crazy just because I'm feeling high.

We feel anxious only because we do not accept our certain death fate. Once we accept it, do not get bothered by it, we don't have anxiety. As for depression, I think it's an anger we do not let go toward the people who are responsible for getting us angry. Internalizing emotions does bad stuffs to people.

To me, the best way to deal with mental health is to talk to people you don't know about it. Either a professional or some strange guy on omegle etc .Then just read a bunch of old psychology/psychoanalysis books and studies ( Not the shit you'll find on dailymail.co or some shady fags website) and get in touch with yourself, because the missing key to the cure is within you. A perfect understanding of oneself lead to a realm of calm and control.

this is sooooo true. I have zero fear of death and look forward to it and you are right, it contributes massively to not having anxiety, in my opinion

[joswift]

this is sooooo true. I have zero fear of death and look forward to it and you are right, it contributes massively to not having anxiety, in my opinion

agreed

I was only thinking about that about a month ago, once you realise that everything is futile and no matter what you do it will all be eventually for nothing why worry?

I am also now at the point I am losing fear of consequences, becauase I always tell the truth no matter how hard it is, and trust me it really is one of the most difficult things to do.
Whatever consequences I face for telling the truth Im ready to accept and even die for.

[djliftsthings]

agreed

I was only thinking about that about a month ago, once you realise that everything is futile and no matter what you do it will all be eventually for nothing why worry?

I am also now at the point I am losing fear of consequences, becauase I always tell the truth no matter how hard it is, and trust me it really is one of the most difficult things to do.
Whatever consequences I face for telling the truth Im ready to accept and even die for.

good for you, I always saw you as one who will stand behind what they say. I wish more people would be like that, but sadly most of society is soft

Hi to Oscar

[joswift]

good for you, I always saw you as one who will stand behind what they say. I wish more people would be like that, but sadly most of society is soft

Hi to Oscar

Thats why I always fucked with Joons head, he offered me money and gear , I just refused him because I said I couldnt be bought, he couldnt grasp that because he thought everyone had a price

[20inch calves]

I have suffered depression for many years and have had my struggles with alcohol. The only I didn't drink were some yrs that I was married n focused on competing.. when I had my kids I also stayed sober. I got divorced. Now the only time I stay sober is when they are with me. I never ever have drank around. Alcohol is a slippery slope. U drink to forget the past.. before u Know it it gets a hold on you

[bLuEeYes]

agreed

I was only thinking about that about a month ago, once you realise that everything is futile and no matter what you do it will all be eventually for nothing why worry?

I am also now at the point I am losing fear of consequences, becauase I always tell the truth no matter how hard it is, and trust me it really is one of the most difficult things to do.
Whatever consequences I face for telling the truth Im ready to accept and even die for.

Difficulty and suffering in life is inevitable. At least one should find a good reason to suffer for. Morals and truth are one.

[wes]

I have suffered depression for many years and have had my struggles with alcohol. The only I didn't drink were some yrs that I was married n focused on competing.. when I had my kids I also stayed sober. I got divorced. Now the only time I stay sober is when they are with me. I never ever have drank around. Alcohol is a slippery slope. U drink to forget the past.. before u Know it it gets a hold on you

Dude if you`re still drinking,get to a meeting or a shrink or rehab if needed.

Alcohol is a depresant and will fucking kill you.

[Van_Bilderass]

I started having panic attacks at 18. I wish I'd known then what I know now, I was suffering needlessly and those attacks left real scars on my psyche I haven't had outright panic attacks in a long while but anxiety is always high and the depression is always there. But I try not to complain, just try to accept it.

I found some consolation in the aphorisms of a certain philosopher by the name of E.M Cioran. He talks about the impossibility of living and the impossibility of dying. Neither is acceptable, but somehow you go on. There is a certain consolation in horror. 

[djliftsthings]

I started having panic attacks at 18. I wish I'd known then what I know now, I was suffering needlessly and those attacks left real scars on my psyche I haven't had outright panic attacks in a long while but anxiety is always high and the depression is always there. But I try not to complain, just try to accept it.

I found some consolation in the aphorisms of a certain philosopher by the name of E.M Cioran. He talks about the impossibility of living and the impossibility of dying. Neither is acceptable, but somehow you go on. There is a certain consolation in horror. 

wowwwwwwww that quote is bang on

[20inch calves]

Dude if you`re still drinking,get to a meeting or a shrink or rehab if needed.

Alcohol is a depresant and will fucking kill you.

I know it will..I do stay sober 5-6 days a week now. I just go way overboard that once or twice a week. It seems it's the only time that I feel happy

[wes]

I know it will..I do stay sober 5-6 days a week now. I just go way overboard that once or twice a week. It seems it's the only time that I feel happy

Been there done that for years bro....you need a rehab to get sober and meetings to stay sober.

I realize you know this but don`t put it off because it only escalates....it never gets better until we quit entirely.

I drank so much everyday that when I lived in Florida early 90`s,I had a complete mental breakdown....not a pretty sight, and I was never more scared in my life.....I was completely out of my mind.

Good luck,and don`t falter do it tomorrow.

[djliftsthings]

Been there done that for years bro....you need a rehab to get sober and meetings to stay sober.

I realize you know this but don`t put it off because it only escalates....it never gets better until we quit entirely.

I drank so much everyday that when I lived in Florida early 90`s,I had a complete mental breakdown....not a pretty sight, and I was never more scared in my life.....I was completely out of my mind.

Good luck,and don`t falter do it tomorrow.

ya cause you arent out of your mind at all today 

[oldtimer1]

Sincerely sorry for your troubles. My daughter just opened her Psychiatric practice. We are having Thanks giving on Friday due to conflicting work schedules. When my two daughters in the medical field  get together one of the top topics for them is what medicine to prescribe for psychiatric problems. They stay right on top of the current and established research.  Having a new practice she said her new patients are saying they can't get an appointment for a lengthy periods of time with psychiatrists. The clients are so appreciative she has a new practice taking new patients. So sick of doctors that give you an appointment weeks and sometimes months later.   

Anyway, I pray you find peace.

[djliftsthings]

Sincerely sorry for your troubles. My daughter just opened her Psychiatric practice. We are having Thanks giving on Friday due to conflicting work schedules. When my two daughters in the medical field  get together one of the top topics for them is what medicine to prescribe for psychiatric problems. They stay right on top of the current and established research.  Having a new practice she said her new patients are saying they can't get an appointment for a lengthy periods of time with psychiatrists. The clients are so appreciative she has a new practice taking new patients. So sick of doctors that give you an appointment weeks and sometimes months later.   

Anyway, I pray you find peace.

in Regina takes a solid year to get in to see a psychiatrist and forget  about the psych ward, full all the time

[Marty Champions]

Panic attacks can come from too many grains and not enough fruit


If I eat a ton of starches and no fruit juice I believe it can deprave your blood of oxygen wich signal your brain to panic

If your drowning or being suffocated it’s the same feeling as anxiety or drowning or panic attack


I hope u take my advice because if u think u can just believe it away it won’t go away that way

[Van_Bilderass]

If your drowning or being suffocated it’s the same feeling as anxiety or drowning or panic attack

I think a feeling of drowning or suffocating is a good way to describe a panic attack. At least they way they felt to me. Like the terror one would feel being buried alive.

I don't know about your fruit cure though. I know fruit juices make me fat but I love them.

[TheGrinch]

had severe panic attacks years ago... found out was caused by Tren.

stopped using it... no more panic attacks

[ThisisOverload]

Good post.

I struggled with severe anxiety (GAD) for most of my life until about 5 years ago. I've only had one panic attack and it's when i was in high school.

They had me on meds for 2 years and it helped some, but the best thing i did was to learn how to "let go". Of everything. It wasn't about death for me, most of it was about work and social requirements. What society thinks you should be and do. Once i learned how to manage the triggers and let go of things it all became better. But it took years.

In my 20's i worked a high stress job for a huge engineering and construction company. I was pushed to the limit every day and treated like a slave. Everyone was working 60 hours a week and treated like shit. It bothered me because i liked my job but hated the environment i was in. I wouldn't sleep at all and had severe struggles with anxiety. I'd get so anxious that i'd freeze up and couldn't function for hours. It was terrifying.

I also struggled with social anxiety my entire life and still do. Going to a psychiatrist helped, but not like people would think. What i learned is that i do have social anxiety and i'm claustrophobic, which is a bad mix. Loud crowded places drive me insane, literally. I also learned that i'm an introvert and don't like people very much. So i enjoy my time alone more than time with friends and family. Knowing this helped me realize how to control certain situations and that prevented a lot of anxiety problems.

About 5 years ago i was in a bad place, very upset at the world and hated life for the most part. I always wondered why? So i took a month of work and traveled to Alaska for 3 weeks, staying in a small town. Over this time period i basically rebuilt my mental state of mind. Read a lot of books and focused on what really matters. Which is being happy with YOURSELF.

What i learned is that nothing really matters except your friends and family. Work is not important and what society thinks of you means nothing. 99.99999% of the people you meet will never be a part of your real life, so fuck them. Do what makes you happy and stop worrying about your boss, projects, people and expectations.

I set my expectations so low for everything that i get surprised more often, things are better because the little things matter more. Work and go home on a normal schedule, it will be there tomorrow. Fuck your boss and random people's expectations. Learn to not care what people think about you and speak the truth, be honest and don't feel bad if people disagree with you.

Today my life is great, i have no worries and every single day is like vacation. I moved out of the big city because that was contributing to my anxiety. I live in the mountains and work a normal 8-5 job in engineering and development for a small company. I save money and have enough that i never worry about that either. Money can cause a lot of stress and causes people to become evil.

I do what i want and if someone has a problem with that i don't care AT ALL. It's almost funny because sometimes i'm in a stressful situation and people wonder why i'm so calm. It's because it doesn't fucking matter and will be forgotten in a few days. Just let that shit go.

Last year I was in a meeting with the owner of my company and we had just gotten fired by our biggest client because the owner was lazy and didn't respond to the client fast enough. We lost millions in future projects. Everyone at the table was red faced mad and yelling at each other, playing the blame game. I was just sitting there waiting for the meeting to be over. The owner asked me why i was so calm? I said because there is nothing we can do to change this and we should just focus on finding a new client. He was pissed! I asked him why he was mad? It was his fault we lost the contract. That didn't go over well but he respected me for it a few days later.

Fast forward 6 months and we secured a new contract with another big developer. Life was fine! We didn't even have any money problems, they just caused panic about it. Waste of time and energy. Fuck em.

So i learned this simple trick when something bothers you.

Can you do something about it RIGHT NOW? If you can, do it. If not, let it go.

Sounds too easy but it helps me stop dwelling on shit. If i can change something i do, if i can't, i just let it go and focus on something productive.

Anyway, i hope people can learn how to deal with it. I did and i'm a better person. But i don't care about most things anymore, which may create other problems down the line i think, primarily with relationship with my GF, but that's a completely different story.

Also learn to meditate and study Buddhist teachings. It helps i promise.

[Marty Champions]

I think a feeling of drowning or suffocating is a good way to describe a panic attack. At least they way they felt to me. Like the terror one would feel being buried alive.

I don't know about your fruit cure though. I know fruit juices make me fat but I love them.

finally student listens to master

[Primemuscle]

agreed

I was only thinking about that about a month ago, once you realise that everything is futile and no matter what you do it will all be eventually for nothing why worry?

I am also now at the point I am losing fear of consequences, becauase I always tell the truth no matter how hard it is, and trust me it really is one of the most difficult things to do.
Whatever consequences I face for telling the truth Im ready to accept and even die for.

Lying usually makes matters worse. The truth will set you free.
I admire people who share their stories no matter how painful it is to do so. It definitely puts each of our lives in perspective. Well done, Josh.

Reading the above posts, I realize no matter how bad off I think I am, there is someone who has had or is having a worse go of it.

Occasionally I suffer mild anxiety which comes from lifelong feelings of insecurity. The little bit of depression I have is manageable because of the antidepressant Bupropion. As long as I remember to stay physically fit, I'll be fine. Schizophrenia runs in my family. I have claustrophobia.

Not so many years ago before there was psychotropic medications some of us would have been institutionalized. Thinking of, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Nurse Ratched was quite the charmer.


Oregon State Hospital Salem, Oregon - razed in 2008
 

       

[wes]

ya cause you arent out of your mind at all today 

You fucker !! LOL 

[djliftsthings]

Good post.

I struggled with severe anxiety (GAD) for most of my life until about 5 years ago. I've only had one panic attack and it's when i was in high school.

They had me on meds for 2 years and it helped some, but the best thing i did was to learn how to "let go". Of everything. It wasn't about death for me, most of it was about work and social requirements. What society thinks you should be and do. Once i learned how to manage the triggers and let go of things it all became better. But it took years.

In my 20's i worked a high stress job for a huge engineering and construction company. I was pushed to the limit every day and treated like a slave. Everyone was working 60 hours a week and treated like shit. It bothered me because i liked my job but hated the environment i was in. I wouldn't sleep at all and had severe struggles with anxiety. I'd get so anxious that i'd freeze up and couldn't function for hours. It was terrifying.

I also struggled with social anxiety my entire life and still do. Going to a psychiatrist helped, but not like people would think. What i learned is that i do have social anxiety and i'm claustrophobic, which is a bad mix. Loud crowded places drive me insane, literally. I also learned that i'm an introvert and don't like people very much. So i enjoy my time alone more than time with friends and family. Knowing this helped me realize how to control certain situations and that prevented a lot of anxiety problems.

About 5 years ago i was in a bad place, very upset at the world and hated life for the most part. I always wondered why? So i took a month of work and traveled to Alaska for 3 weeks, staying in a small town. Over this time period i basically rebuilt my mental state of mind. Read a lot of books and focused on what really matters. Which is being happy with YOURSELF.

What i learned is that nothing really matters except your friends and family. Work is not important and what society thinks of you means nothing. 99.99999% of the people you meet will never be a part of your real life, so fuck them. Do what makes you happy and stop worrying about your boss, projects, people and expectations.

I set my expectations so low for everything that i get surprised more often, things are better because the little things matter more. Work and go home on a normal schedule, it will be there tomorrow. Fuck your boss and random people's expectations. Learn to not care what people think about you and speak the truth, be honest and don't feel bad if people disagree with you.

Today my life is great, i have no worries and every single day is like vacation. I moved out of the big city because that was contributing to my anxiety. I live in the mountains and work a normal 8-5 job in engineering and development for a small company. I save money and have enough that i never worry about that either. Money can cause a lot of stress and causes people to become evil.

I do what i want and if someone has a problem with that i don't care AT ALL. It's almost funny because sometimes i'm in a stressful situation and people wonder why i'm so calm. It's because it doesn't fucking matter and will be forgotten in a few days. Just let that shit go.

Last year I was in a meeting with the owner of my company and we had just gotten fired by our biggest client because the owner was lazy and didn't respond to the client fast enough. We lost millions in future projects. Everyone at the table was red faced mad and yelling at each other, playing the blame game. I was just sitting there waiting for the meeting to be over. The owner asked me why i was so calm? I said because there is nothing we can do to change this and we should just focus on finding a new client. He was pissed! I asked him why he was mad? It was his fault we lost the contract. That didn't go over well but he respected me for it a few days later.

Fast forward 6 months and we secured a new contract with another big developer. Life was fine! We didn't even have any money problems, they just caused panic about it. Waste of time and energy. Fuck em.

So i learned this simple trick when something bothers you.

Can you do something about it RIGHT NOW? If you can, do it. If not, let it go.

Sounds too easy but it helps me stop dwelling on shit. If i can change something i do, if i can't, i just let it go and focus on something productive.

Anyway, i hope people can learn how to deal with it. I did and i'm a better person. But i don't care about most things anymore, which may create other problems down the line i think, primarily with relationship with my GF, but that's a completely different story.

Also learn to meditate and study Buddhist teachings. It helps i promise.

 
holy fuck
this is the best post I have ever seen on getbig, and Ive been on and off (lol) since 05
thanks for this, its now saved forever for me to refer to