here's a laugh for you on this monday or any other day.

[funk51]

   

   

[funk51]

   A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL
HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS. THE PILOT SAID, I TOLD HER FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO.

[funk51]

   

[funk51]

 

[funk51]

    jagger @ 80 McConnell  @ 81 years old. I guess sex drugs and rock and roll is the better path in life.

[funk51]

 

[funk51]

   An atheist was seated next to a dusty old cowboy on an airplane and he turned to him and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The old cowboy, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.
“Okay,” he said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The atheist, visibly surprised by the old cowboy's intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the cowboy replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?

[oldtimer1]

You really think America is in better shape under Biden than Trump?

[funk51]

You really think America is in better shape under Biden than Trump?

   

[funk51]

 

[funk51]

You really think America is in better shape under Biden than Trump?

     

&t=14s   

&t=87s   

   

   

[funk51]

 

[wes]

Pretty good stuff funk !!

[funk51]

 

[funk51]

  A blonde wanted to try out ice fishing. She went out and purchased all the gear she would need and headed to a local spot to try to catch some fish.
She went out onto the ice with her gear and after getting comfy on the stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice as she had seen on the internet. As she was cutting, she heard a voice from the heavens speak out, saying,
 "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
🐡
The blonde was startled. She stood up and looked around but saw no one. Cautiously, she moved a little further out onto the ice and set up in a different spot. She sipped some hot chocolate from her thermos and then started cutting another hole. Again, the voice called out, seemingly from all around her.
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
🐟
Now feeling quite scared and starting to get a bit frustrated, she moved all the way to the far end of the ice and laid out all her gear, sat upon her stool and started cutting another hole. Right away, the heavenly voice boomed out, this time louder than ever, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!".
🐠
She jumped off her stool and looked all around her. She shouted to the heavens,
"IS THAT YOU, LORD?" 🕊
The voice answered, "NO. THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE SKATING RINK. ⛸️ ⛸️
THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
🎣😁

[Kwon]

   

SUPERB

[funk51]

 

[falco]

The real one:

The parody:

[funk51]

    Tom Reynolds boarded his flight to Chicago and made his way to the aisle seat he had reserved. To his surprise, a blonde woman was already sitting there.
“Excuse me,” Tom said, trying to stay polite. “That’s my seat. I specifically booked it.”
The woman looked up and said confidently, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until the plane lands in Chicago.”
Tom frowned and checked her ticket. Sure enough, it clearly showed she was assigned the middle seat.
“Your ticket says you’re in the middle,” he pointed out. “I booked this aisle seat because I’m six-foot-five, and I need the legroom. You’re, what, five-foot-one? You’ll be just fine in the middle seat.”
The blonde, completely unfazed, repeated, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until the plane lands in Chicago.”
The woman in the window seat chimed in, “You should probably move. My ex was only six-foot-one, and he always needed the aisle seat to avoid feeling cramped.”
Still, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, and I’m sitting in this aisle seat until the plane lands in Chicago.”
Frustrated, Tom finally called over a flight attendant. After listening to the situation, the attendant nodded, leaned down, and whispered something in the blonde’s ear.
Suddenly, the blonde’s expression changed. Without a word, she grabbed her things and moved to the middle seat.
Relieved, Tom settled into his aisle seat.
After landing in Chicago, curiosity got the better of him. He approached the flight attendant and asked, “What did you say to her?”
The attendant grinned. “I told her the aisle seat wasn’t going to Chicago.”