i think everyone would be better off it they stopped basing their lives on attracting each other and more about improving themselves
Why not both?
Self improvement would absolutely make everyone better off for sure.
But there are studies that show (don't ask for a link, just heard it referenced many times (Peterson?, not sure) that 50% of women are childless by age 30, and 50% of those will never have kids, and 90% of those will regret it.
Attracting a partner is basic instinct, and we shouldn't veer from that.