Bhanks murder prep kit - suggestions needed

[Dave D]

Bhanks has threatened to murder* Flexacon:

You are a piece of shit putting up photos of someone’s deceased parents I will fucking kill you if you ever reveal yourself you worthless fucking coward

Realistically this will never happen, it is all empty threats BUT if Hankins were to follow through on this what type of items should he have in his travel kit?

Knowing he’s done two bb contests and nearly went into organ failure both times, it’s safe to assume the stress from planning out a murder would likely lead to a heart attack and/or stroke resulting in his death, BUT it may be a fun exercise to think of the helpful items he would need.

I’ll start and recommend that he pack super absorbent Depends, these are to practical not to have.

* These threats have been sent to local Kitty Hawk law enforcement

[Gym Rat]

Brians all talk.
He will kill no one...
So far, hasnt lived up to any of his "big talk".

[Grape Ape]

As long as the murder starts on time, and he doesn't have a long drive home and work the next day, it could happen.

[affeman]

[Krankenstein]

Bhanks has threatened to murder* Flexacon:

Realistically this will never happen, it is all empty threats BUT if Hankins were to follow through on this what type of items should he have in his travel kit?

Knowing he’s done two bb contests and nearly went into organ failure both times, it’s safe to assume the stress from planning out a murder would likely lead to a heart attack and/or stroke resulting in his death, BUT it may be a fun exercise to think of the helpful items he would need.

I’ll start and recommend that he pack super absorbent Depends, these are to practical not to have.

* These threats have been sent to local Kitty Hawk law enforcement

Is CranApple juice acceptable hydration for a murder?

[robcguns]

That’s was fucking creepy.

[wes]

Who`s Brian

[Skeletor]

Looks like an animatronic from the 80s...

[webstar]

Pain killers not for the victim for Brian
FTTP - in case the haters get to him
Lasik when the haters get to him
Reading glasses to read the labels correctly

[Dave D]

Is CranApple juice acceptable hydration for a murder?

Yeah the anabolic properties are needed to fuel his rage.

I’m also thinking a box of Whelch’s fruit snacks would be beneficial. They are nutritious and delicious.

[Taffin]

That’s was fucking creepy.

Rob - those are all over fucken Instagram (some are quote funny tho - they refer to him as O'Tren)

[Taffin]

Pain killers not for the victim for Brian
FTTP - in case the haters get to him
Lasik when the haters get to him
Reading glasses to read the labels correctly

Smelling salts to bring him round from the physical effort of trying to achieve something physical
Post-mortem letter to his dead parents apologising for being a fuck-up and ending as a murder-suicide
Empty will - as he's spunked it all up the wall on bio-identical hormones and debts to his Cartel Maid Conchita

[Rambone]

I believe the proper term is “murder death kill”

[The Scott]

bhanky brings to mind Branch Warren in, "The Terror of Tiny Town".



"This town ain't big enough fer teh both of us!"

[GymnJuice]

Pain killers not for the victim for Brian
FTTP - in case the haters get to him
Lasik when the haters get to him
Reading glasses to read the labels correctly

Knee sleeves should be ordered 4-6 weeks in advance of the planned hit

Melatonin cycle should also start 4 weeks ahead of time for maximum anabolic effect

He will also need to recruit a new getaway driver, since Em can't drive at night and plans may change at the last minute. Perhaps his relationship with Coop and/or Spaulding could be mended in time?

[AbrahamG]

Are we talking strictly murder or is a raping in the cards as well?

[Dave D]

Great list everyone!

I think this advice will really help Hankins out for all future, non murder, endeavors.

Are we talking strictly murder or is a raping in the cards as well?

Great question.

If one were to assume such things, logically  the raping would occur post mortem.

So that would need to be taken into consideration.

[Krankenstein]

Great list everyone!

I think this advice will really help Hankins out for all future, non murder, endeavors.

Great question.

If one were to assume such things, logically  the raping would occur post mortem.

So that would need to be taken into consideration.

Will he need posing trunks?  If so, wet look is approved or no?

[Flexacon]

Can you please stop giving Bhanky ideas. Unlike him I have a pretty good life and would like to keep living!

Also he reported my profile pic to mods 

[Sandrock]

Holy Christ O' Hearn is looking weirder than ever.  The skin pulled around the eyes is what's really getting to me.

Maybe O' Hearn should be hank's accomplice in this murder?  They'll need selfie rings for the post murder selfies.  Brian should also bring a shaker full of fake hair to shake on to his bald head so he can look his best for the selfies.

[Dave D]

Ohearn wearing his own character on a shirt as if that’s normal behavior for whatever low level of celebrity he is.

Poor guy still doesn’t understand why he’s not as well known as Fabio.

[falco]

Full blown wax figure.

[hench]

His face looks weird as fuck.

[Taffin]

Are we talking strictly murder or is a raping in the cards as well?

Good point.  Pretty sure bhanky will set up some sort of scenario where he gets brutally pegged 'against his will'    before staggering towards the MDK component... hmmm... 🤔 so he'll need some sort of mop to cover his bloody tracks too

[IroNat]

Bhanks has threatened to murder* Flexacon:

Realistically this will never happen, it is all empty threats BUT if Hankins were to follow through on this what type of items should he have in his travel kit?

Knowing he’s done two bb contests and nearly went into organ failure both times, it’s safe to assume the stress from planning out a murder would likely lead to a heart attack and/or stroke resulting in his death, BUT it may be a fun exercise to think of the helpful items he would need.

I’ll start and recommend that he pack super absorbent Depends, these are to practical not to have.

* These threats have been sent to local Kitty Hawk law enforcement

Epi-pens
Antibiotic ointment
Hydrogen peroxide for disinfecting
Band-aids
Medical bandages
Bandage tape
Ice packs
Ibuproefen
Tylenol
Air casts
Flat board for immobilization of spine
Ice and small cooler for transport of knocked out teeth
Ace bandages
Oxycontin