If you found $1 million in a suitcase abandoned, what would you do to keep it?

[obsidian]

I thought about this. You can't just take this to a bank and deposit it. So will you just spend a dollar here and there on groceries, gas, etc.? If you walk into a car dealership and pay for the car in cash it would raise red flags.

Another question, if you somehow found an unclaimed computer in the trash with no personal info but a Bitcoin wallet and password and 1000 BTC in it, what would you do? You literally can't do anything with it if you want to stay on the right side of the law, especially in USA. If you tried to convert it to dollars you would be SOL. Would there be some way to declare to the IRS that you just found it in the trash? Would they believe you?

In Breaking Bad they acquire a car wash to rinse / launder their money. But I think the crucial part is they had to be able to acquire the car wash with legitimate savings that could be traced via accounting. If they just magically bought the car wash for $1 million it would raise flags. Unless they got a huge loan and then paid it off with "cash" from the business?

[joswift]

[obsidian]

Lol yeah that did not work out well for Josh Brolin! 

[pamith]

Bro...

[wes]

One of my all time favorite movies,and I`ve got a lot of them!

[Matt]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Simple_Plan_(film)

[LurkerNoMore]

Short answer - not much you can do with it without raising red flags. If they started looking into you they would look at what you buy and what you don’t buy equally.  That idea of buying gas and food?  What happens when you have to explain why you been driving your car for months but have no gas purchases on your account or cash withdrawal to indicate you used your own funds at gas stations?  No charges in super markets or restaurant?  Why haven’t you starved to death?

Forget a car wash (or bar).  They are mostly digital now.  Forget a casino.  Forget smuggling it out of the country to spend in other countries (they keep records of currency exchanges everywhere. )
 
Etc.

My gf mother retired as a federal forensic accountant.  Any ways  that people have tried to get away, she has seen. 

About the safest way is a long term scheme that most people do not have the patience to pull off.  That involves legitimately purchasing a house with your own money or financing it.  Then using the illicit money to pay a contractor in cash to fix it up on the sly.  Nothing extensive or that requires permits or inspections. Hold it for a couple years and sell for a profit. Rinse and repeat. 

[obsidian]

Short answer - not much you can do with it without raising red flags. If they started looking into you they would look at what you buy and what you don’t buy equally.  That idea of buying gas and food?  What happens when you have to explain why you been driving your car for months but have no gas purchases on your account or cash withdrawal to indicate you used your own funds at gas stations?  No charges in super markets or restaurant?  Why haven’t you starved to death?

Forget a car wash (or bar).  They are mostly digital now.  Forget a casino.  Forget smuggling it out of the country to spend in other countries (they keep records of currency exchanges everywhere. )
 
Etc.

My gf mother retired as a federal forensic accountant.  Any ways  that people have tried to get away, she has seen. 

About the safest way is a long term scheme that most people do not have the patience to pull off.  That involves legitimately purchasing a house with your own money or financing it.  Then using the illicit money to pay a contractor in cash to fix it up on the sly.  Nothing extensive or that requires permits or inspections. Hold it for a couple years and sell for a profit. Rinse and repeat.

Lol yeah great points. At the end, you just can't hide it. I would look into finders keepers laws and just come clean and declare it and pay taxes up front if you're allowed to keep it. Unless you're willing to live under the radar but always have to look over your shoulder.

[Irongrip400]

Buy a house and renovate it. Use the cash to pay contractors. Flip the house and do that a few times. You’ll end up paying taxes on the gainz but at least it’ll be clean. You can do the same with an old car too. If you just want to blow it, buy some shit like Rolex watches from a pawn shop. Also, if you just want to blow it, use a travel agent that takes cash. Most independent agents will.

[Rambone]

Go back to my trailer to tell my wife, “You’re retired.”

[LurkerNoMore]

Lol yeah great points. At the end, you just can't hide it. I would look into finders keepers laws and just come clean and declare it and pay taxes up front if you're allowed to keep it. Unless you're willing to live under the radar but always have to look over your shoulder.

It’s easy to say.  Until you find it.   Then you will be telling friends shit like “hey if you go to Best Buy and buy all this for me on your credit card, I’ll pay you and give you an extra $5000 too”

Or spend it on drugs or hookers.

Some have tried to use it to become a partner in a business or buy in to an existing LLC.  Paying the other partners cash for a percentage.  But then you got more involved and if one goes under for anything….. (even non tax related) it’s like dominos.  Cause you know he gonna snitch.

[Royalty]

Go back to my trailer to tell my wife, “You’re retired.”

You know how many people I know in El Paso?


...that’s how many

[Rambone]

You know how many people I know in El Paso?


...that’s how many

Switched the samples!

[Royalty]

Switched the samples!

Tommy Lee Jones was perfect in both movies

[robcguns]

You guys fucking kidding? My business is mostly cash. And as a gambler I deal in mostly cash. Easy as hell to make up where it came from and spend it. I buy everything in cash and no one has ever said a word. Who worries about using cash and what the feds might say? Let them come asking cause they won’t find it anyways.

[Walter Sobchak]

I thought about this. You can't just take this to a bank and deposit it. So will you just spend a dollar here and there on groceries, gas, etc.? If you walk into a car dealership and pay for the car in cash it would raise red flags.

Another question, if you somehow found an unclaimed computer in the trash with no personal info but a Bitcoin wallet and password and 1000 BTC in it, what would you do? You literally can't do anything with it if you want to stay on the right side of the law, especially in USA. If you tried to convert it to dollars you would be SOL. Would there be some way to declare to the IRS that you just found it in the trash? Would they believe you?

In Breaking Bad they acquire a car wash to rinse / launder their money. But I think the crucial part is they had to be able to acquire the car wash with legitimate savings that could be traced via accounting. If they just magically bought the car wash for $1 million it would raise flags. Unless they got a huge loan and then paid it off with "cash" from the business?

I’d keep pimping out your mom and sister for cash and not worry about laundering the money.

What next….a riveting thread about finding a Genie in a lamp?

Fucking gaylord

[wes]

Tommy Lee Jones was perfect in both movies

Hell yeah he was!

[Hendrixian]

You guys fucking kidding? My business is mostly cash. And as a gambler I deal in mostly cash. Easy as hell to make up where it came from and spend it. I buy everything in cash and no one has ever said a word. Who worries about using cash and what the feds might say? Let them come asking cause they won’t find it anyways.

Yep, this.

If you have no credit or whatsover and you buy a very expensive car in cash, now that might raise some suspicion, otherwise, no one gives a fuck.

[SOMEPARTS]

You people can't be serious. This would not be a problem for me, that's for sure.

Just curb the conspicuous consumption and keep it out of the banking system.

[CalvinH]

You know how many people I know in El Paso?


...that’s how many

You'll be hearing from my Get Big lawyer.


...I've been posting like this for over 16 years and it's trademarked

[Sandrock]

You guys fucking kidding? My business is mostly cash. And as a gambler I deal in mostly cash. Easy as hell to make up where it came from and spend it. I buy everything in cash and no one has ever said a word. Who worries about using cash and what the feds might say? Let them come asking cause they won’t find it anyways.

Has a man ever lost his anal virginity to you in a game of 6.45 card stud, Rob?

[AbrahamG]

Has a man ever lost his anal virginity to you in a game of 6.45 card stud, Rob?

Subtle way to introduce Matt C. to the thread.

[Beefjake]

With a million dollar suitcase I’d worry first if somebody comes looking for it.

[Sandrock]

Subtle way to introduce Matt C. to the thread.

I'M KNOWN FOR MY SUBTLETY YOU GODDAMN FAGGOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AbrahamG]

I'M KNOWN FOR MY SUBTLETY YOU GODDAMN FAGGOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nerve touched?