Proper tucking and Glute Posing -
Step 1: Balls up
This is the first, and probably weirdest step of the whole procedure. Basically you push your balls up and out of the way so that they’re not dangling around being all in your face. Most of the guides talk about pushing them up into cavities in your body. It sounds weird, a bit medical and quite confusing. I spent ages poking around for some odd ‘channel’ to push them into. As if I had a pair of secret vaginas no one had told me about. Spoiler alert, alas I don’t.
So let me break it down for you. Right above your balls is a bit of skin (where your pubes are) that’s not attached to your hip bones etc. You simply cup your balls, and gently push them up under the skin at the front of your body. They kind of sit just above and to the sides the top of your penis. Right at the front of your body, not in some secret internal cavity.
Step 2: Sausage Roll
So, your balls are now up, and you’re left with a penis and an empty ball sack hanging around. It’s time to start creating the illusion.
For step two, you wrap your empty balls sack around your penis like a sausage roll. This means that your balls won’t simply fall back down into your ball sack when you let go.
Step 3: Wrap the burrito
In this step we’re going to wrap tape around the sausage roll you’ve just made to hold everything in place. But first we need to talk about tape.
There are loads of different types of tape that you can use to tuck. You need a tape that’s going to:
1 Stick to your skin (we want things held in place)
2 Have a bit of stretch (things move around down there)
3 Be a bit waterproof. (things can get sweaty down there)
Some Bodybuilders swear by using Gaffa tape. It’s a solid choice, it’s mostly water proof, but my god it’s a bugger to get off. And to be honest it’s kinda overkill for the job.
Another common choice is Micropore Tape – This is the stuff that tattoo artists use to hold on the cling film. It’s designed especially to stick to bodies and it peels off quite easily, but not too easily. It’s good for a quick tuck, but if you get too sweaty it’ll rip.
The tape I most recommend is called Clear Marine Tape. It’s the stuff that model boat enthusiasts use to repair their toy boats! It’s great because it’s designed to be water proof, it’s got good stretch to it and it’s completely clear. So the illusion you can create is almost clock proof.
So, once you’ve bought your tape from the toy boat shop, we’re on to the next bit. Simply wrap up around your penis and scrotum from the base of your penis and down the length. Don’t wrap up the head, that would be weird and you don’t need too. Especially because you might want to pee.
Oh, I forgot. Step 0. Shave! You’re going to want smooth skin down there.
Step 4: X marks the spot
So I’m a Bodybuilder who likes a drink when he goes out dancing. But most of the tutorials on tucking seem to assume that you never need the loo!
So I ended up coming up with my own plan on how to tape and still go to the loo. It’s pretty simple.
You get some more of the tape and you tape an X shape. It runs from either side of the top of your penis and crosses just behind the head. It then leaves the head of your penis tape free. Which of course means that when you put it all back out of the way you can still pee.
If you bump into me in a club one day, please buy me a Jack and Coke to say thanks for this life saving tip!
You’re going to want to leave a fair bit of tape loose at the other end. It’s about to go right back and up over your bum.
Ok, nearly there…
Step 5: Down under
The finale! Next we’re going to grab everything and ‘tuck’ it all out the way to create the illusion. So to recap, your balls are up and out of the way. Your scrotum is wrapped around your penis and taped in place. You’ve run an X of tape down over your penis.
Next you squat down low. This is important as it means your tuck won’t snap loose when you bounce around and slut drop. We then grab the loose ends of the X, and pull everything back and underneath. The tape then sticks inside and up over your bum like a thong. It leaves the head of your penis upside down and facing out the back (so you can pee).
Step Six: Now Do a Twirl
Now that you're properly tucked, practice doing a twirl, pull your thong into your ass crack, and tense those glutes! Lat spread is optional.
Now you're ready for the Olympia.
