Shizzo, I believe the time is right for you to step into a G&O mod position. The board is dying, and the men are crying out for law and order.
We need someone with integrity and a fire in his belly to pick up the mantle and lead from the front. You've sobered up and humbled yourself; now it's time to demonstrate that you have what it takes to be a good adjudicator.
Will you strive to elevate truth above propaganda and bias?
Do you promise to never swing your sword in spite, but only in pursuit of justice?
Will you free the forum's judiciary from its craven and iniquitous Jewish parti pris, and recalibrate the scales of justice in order to ensure that every opinion is weighed equally?
I believe you will. And if you agree, then may I suggest that you revise the forum rulebook and propose your amended version to the G&O along with an opinion poll where the people may vote you in.
My liege, as I kneel before you today as a faithful servant who wishes nothing more than to see a return to our forum's glory days, I would like to offer you these parting words from Tennyson:
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.