funk,
You should post about the great things the Dems are doing...but you can't because they haven't done any.
Ha-ha-ha!!!!!!!!!
If your constitution trembles at the sound of “spicy syllables” or language that doesn’t come pre-washed and Sunday-service approved, consider this your fair warning. I won’t be dressing this one up with silk and civility. There’s no lace-trimmed diplomacy here. What follows isn’t polished prose for polite company—it’s raw, unfiltered frustration carved into sentences. Because frankly, we’ve crossed the threshold of absurdity, and there’s no room left for euphemisms when people are actively choosing medieval suffering over modern medicine. So I’m going to speak plainly. Brutally. Because someone has to.
Today—I shit you not—I was told by a full-grown Trump-supporting “adult” that “there are benefits to getting measles.” Benefits. Like permanent brain damage is a fucking juice cleanse. Like fever, blindness, seizures, lung collapse, and your immune system being gutted and left for dead is somehow a net gain. This is the level of delusion we’re up against.
How about a quick summary of measles since apparently we’re back to needing remedial plague history in the Year of Our Lord 2025. It starts with a cough, high fever, bloodshot eyes like you’ve been maced, and the feeling that your entire skull is about to split from pressure. Then the rash blooms—spreads like fire across your body while your lungs start filling with fluid and your immune system gets carpet-bombed. The one out of every thousand cases? The virus walks right into the central nervous system and torches the brain. It’s called encephalitis, and it doesn’t end cute. It ends with wheelchairs, seizures, permanent cognitive damage, or a casket.
Meanwhile, the alternative is a tiny, time-tested shot with a decades-long track record of preventing all that horror. No brain swelling. No kids suffocating on their own spit. Just immunity. But these morons—these Internet University PhDs in Bullshit Studies—think their kid needs to “build natural defenses” by rolling the dice with death and disability.
And when you call it what it is—dangerous, mouth-breathing idiocy—they start bleating about “vaccine injuries” and “freedom” and whatever new pseudoscience their cult overlords have vomited out that week. Yes, a statistically insignificant number of people had side effects from the COVID vaccine. More people die from drowning in bathtubs or taking Tylenol, and yet I don’t see anyone staging freedom rallies against water or over-the-counter meds. And I can already hear those same ghouls shouting, “I didn’t get the vaccine and I didn’t get sick!” Fantastic. You know what else happens? People survive lightning strikes. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna hand you a fucking nine iron and tell you to go dance in a thunderstorm and call it science.
This is what happens when willful ignorance meets political brain rot. These aren’t conservatives. Conservatism implies principles. These are fanboys for a sweaty, bankrupted, twice-impeached, sexually abusive game show host who once suggested you inject bleach and now tells people vaccines are poison while he quietly gets all his boosters in private. It’s not a movement—it’s a cult. And it’s a cult that tried to overturn democracy because their diaper-wearing demigod couldn’t handle losing like a grown adult.
And the best part is that the same people worshiping this bloated sack of narcissism cry like wounded little possums when you mock them for it. “Why are you being so mean?” Wasn’t MAGA the one selling “Fuck Your Feelings” merch? Wasn’t their whole vibe about triggering the libs? Now they want civility? After the Capitol riot? After the death threats to doctors and election workers? After chanting “hang Mike Pence” and telling us COVID was a hoax while people died on ventilators alone?
The truth is, if it were just these evolutionary cul-de-sacs suffering the consequences of this cosmically stupid worldview, I would say let Darwin take the wheel. But it doesn’t work like that. These people drag everyone else down with them. They keep deadly diseases alive, spread lies like mold, and call it “research.” They bury facts under fear and claim enlightenment while staring straight into the ass-end of a con job.
They aren’t rebels. They’re not critical thinkers. They’re not patriots. They’re marks in a long con, screaming freedom while slurping down propaganda like it’s Kool-aid, too proud to admit the grifter-in-chief played them like a damn fiddle.
And our ancestors—those who were permanently crippled, deformed, or simply died choking on blood and fever from preventable diseases—are screaming through the centuries watching their descendants reject modern medicine because some YouTube quack told them it’s “unnatural.” They would weep if they weren’t too busy vomiting in disbelief.
What’s next—inviting smallpox back with open arms and flowers? Calling the Black Death a misunderstood detox? Why not bring back leeches and bloodletting, toss antibiotics, fuck off with anesthesia, and go back to sawing limbs off with whiskey and a prayer—since apparently, the “good old days” were just misunderstood wellness retreats.
So yeah. I said what I said. These people are a fucking liability to public health, common sense, and the basic dignity of reason. And they’re too far gone to see it. The rest of us have to clean up the mess while they wear their dangerous ignorance like a badge of honor.
Goddamn exhausting.
Note: Yes, the photo is smallpox—not measles. That was intentional, as you’ll see by the end of the piece. No need to play fact-checker. Thanks.
