Alright... first, last and only time I ever flew this shit airline.
The shit (literally) started before boarding. The airport terminal didn't have a security checkpoint at the main check in area. Instead, it had a security checkpoint at the gate. Each gate had it's own TSA version basically. Which made check in a breeze. (good luck with the US catching on to this) Each gate had it's own restrooms. I get there two hours early and right off the bat, every damn toilet in there has been clogged with shit. Clogged, backed up, water on the floor and someone has even shit in one of the urinals. Yeah, I had seen memes of that before, but always thought it was staged. Never encountered this in the wild so to speak.
Now though not popular in the US, many foreign countries have water fountains that also dispense hot water. Like boiling hot. I noticed all these people - like over half the flight - in line at this dispenser at the gate filling up thermos type bottles with hot water.
There were three boarding lanes. Special assistance, first class, regular (but divided into zones). Announcement comes over the system. "Welcome we are now starting our boarding process with Special As....." **STAMPEDE** I am not exaggerating. Everyone bum rushed the gate at once. Knocking down the little posts and ropes separating the zones. It was a madhouse. Pushing and shoving and yelling.. worse than dindus at the Spirit counter in Miami...and the gate attendants didn't do shit. They didn't give a fuck. They saw this every damn day, every damn flight. They just started scanning the boarding passes of whatever lucky soul popped out of the bottle neck.
I just sat back and waited. Because it wasn't like the plane was going to leave without me. This was only a 4 hour flight so I was booked into the exit row next to the bulkhead. Decent leg room compared to the other seats. But Asians are short, so I guess that was the engineers fall back hope when they designed it. Because the other seats had no leg room at all. Only inches.
Plane goes up. Now, those thermos bottles? They come out and are opened. And while liquids could not make it through security, herbs, roots, spices, crust from voodoo witch doctor's asses apparently did. They had made their own special stew/soup/brew that simply reeked. It was god awful horrible. But then again, these people jab skewers in live bugs and eat them while they are still alive, so what do you expect? But the sheer number of people on the plane that did it... ugh! And when they delivered the flight meal, I could see why. First I was surprised because it was only four hours. But then I realized it didn't matter because it was completely inedible. I still don't know what it was. I took one look at mine and gave it back. I honestly didn't see anyone eating it.
What did I see? I saw an 80 year old man change out of his clothes into "traveling clothes" in the middle of the aisle. By traveling clothes, I mean pajamas. And by change, I mean he stripped down to his piss stained tighty (semi) whiteys. And the flight attendants just walked on by. He did it again right before descending, putting on his "other clothes" which were stained khakis and flannel shirt that he didn't even bother to button up. I saw the lady in the seat the next row over giving her three kids a hair cut. And I don't mean a little snip and trim. I mean a "we are now fugitives and must change our entire look" type hair cuts. She was cutting off three or four inches of their hair at a time. Of course with Asian children, I couldn't tell if they were male or female, but they were all getting the hack and slash job with a pair of office scissors and a comb. Hair flying everywhere. There was another older man that must have had a bladder problem. He was in the middle seat and got up to go to the bathroom twice. Doesn't sound too bad. Except that the woman next to him (who I can only guess was his wife) was asleep and this man was NOT going to wake her up for any reason at all. No no no... not even to step by and go piss. Instead, he stands up in his seat, steps OVER the back of his seat and crab walks on the two seats (and people) behind him. Oh sorry, excuse me, really sorry.... Ok, then he comes back from the bathroom and repeats the process. Walking over them and climbing back over his seat again to sit down. And this happens again an hour later. Flight attendants don't give a fuck. There is a tall Asian (about 5'10" - giant by their standards) that must not have been able to fit in his seat because he just went to the mid galley and laid down on the floor. Again, flight attendants don't give a fuck. They just step over him. He could have been dead and they were like "well fuck him... maintenance and cleaning crew will take care of it."
Now, we starting to descend. Remember those nasty stinking thermos bottle contents? That everyone drank? Well, pressure is changing. People's stomach are shrinking. Farts are a farting fast and furious. Honest to god I wanted to open a window if it were possible. Or the plane door. But I wasn't ESFitness so I couldn't. (Remember that claim of his). It wasn't just fucking putrid stink, it had a raw humid nature to it. Not a damn covid mask in sight to save me. (this was around 2017). I completely gagged.
Was so happy to get off that plane. Never again will I fly them. Or recommend them. Then to make matters worse, it was the first and only time I was ever "happily chosen" by undercover security after we landed for secondary inspection. And I was actually in line for a cab when they picked me out and took me in detention room. I mean, I was out of the airport at that point. Weirdest start to a trip I have ever had.
