George "The Liar" Santos promising that he won't harm himself or engage in sexual activities while in prison.
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I’m heading to prison, folks and I need you to hear this loud and clear: I’m not suicidal. I’m not depressed. I have no intentions of harming myself, and I will not willingly engage in any sexual activity while I’m in there. So if something does happen, there’s no confusion. I did NOT kill myself"
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You know damn well he is going to eat that Snickers bar he finds on his pillow right away.