Spot the Juicer
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How to tell if the guy in the next squat rack is natural or artificially enhanced
by Lou Schuler, Men's Health; Illustrations by Susan Gilbert
Skull: Steroids may or may not increase the size of the skull; the effect is more often attributed to human growth hormone, which is sometimes taken in conjunction with anabolic steroids.
Skin: Bodybuilders' skin sometimes takes on a reddish glow, since steroids cause water retention, which raises blood pressure. One writer described 'roided bodybuilders as resembling walking erections, "all veiny and red."
Deltoids, Traps: Supersized muscles surrounding the shoulders—trapezius, lats, pectorals, deltoids, biceps and triceps—are a good clue that Mr. Needle has been introduced to Mr. Buttock. Even if the lower body is normal size, upper-body muscles tend to be inflated.
Chest: One of the few consistent results of steroid studies is an increase in bench-press strength. When an experienced lifter makes sudden, dramatic strength gains, assume pharmacological intervention.
Back: Upper-body acne is a common side effect in adults using steroids.
Nipples: By any other name, gynecomastia is a bitch. Steroid-induced breast tissue can only be removed surgically.
Lats: Lifters can increase muscle mass by up to 25 percent with 10 weeks of steroid use, so stretch marks on biceps and pectorals are common.
Forearms: This is anecdotal, but some have observed that the best natural bodybuilders have a thick bone structure. When you see a guy with huge forearm muscles rising off relatively small bones, it's a pretty good sign he's been hitting the Vitamin S.
Biceps: Another way to tell the difference between natural and unnatural lifters: The juicers look as if they have more muscle fibers as well as bigger fibers. Steroids seem to trigger a process called hyperplasia, in which the body produces new muscle cells.
Abs: Steroids help reduce body fat even as they promote muscle growth. A guy who gains a lot of muscle quickly without steroids will also tend to add fat. Only a juicer can get substantially bigger in the chest and shoulders while losing fat from his waist.
Hands: Sportswriters are fond of saying steroids won't help you hit a fastball. But, since testosterone regulates the nervous system, steroids are thought to increase quickness by decreasing reaction time. Next stop, McCovey Cove.
Thighs: Anabolic steroids don't reduce inflammation, but they can help torn muscles recover their strength. On the other hand, corticosteroids, which are commonly used to reduce inflammation quickly, can cause damage to a muscle's structure and tissue regrowth.
Knees: Sports-medicine physicians have long suspected that steroids damage tendons and ligaments. Animal studies from the '80s show that the damage to joints begins within a few days of steroid use, and that exercise combined with steroid use makes it worse. The lab animals ended up with stiffer, weaker tendons.
Testicles: With artificial testosterone injected into your body, your testicles don't need to make their own, so the assembly line shuts down, and the testes shrink.
Penis: Waldo goes wild, even while his two nutty friends turn into shrinking violets. Steroid users often develop voracious sexual appetites (despite the fact that they're actually producing less sperm), along with feelings of euphoria and boundless energy.
