Fiance doesn't like to work out...

[swoody]

I'm sure this question has been asked before, which I have read, but not come to the answers I need... I was raised in a very active family... fitness is a part of our lives. My fiance was not... she was raised in a sedentary lifestyle... both of her parents are overweight. She is not, and looks good, but I am afraid that her parents genes will set in sooner or later and change all that. I want to get her into the habit of working out, but she says it isn't a priority in her life. Also, she is at a high risk for type 2 diabetes (the one that isn't as bad) because it runs in her family. She is only going to the gym twice a week with me, which is a start, but she doesn't do anything to get a workout in... pretty much just plays on the equipment. I want her to have a healthy lifestyle like myself so that she isn't unhappy and diabetic down the road... how should I approach her, if at all, and what should I do?
      Also, Is there any way I can approach her so she doesn't freak out and get the wrong message? Also, ladies, is it intimidating to you if you boyfriend, fiance or husband works out with you, or is it better if she works out by herself? She's also intimidated because it bothers her that guys gauk at her when she's there... any suggestions

[Deadpool]

   any suggestions

no.

[swoody]

Thanks asshole:)  Anybody else want to actually try to help me out on this?

[rocket]

Hey swoody,

There are lots of things you can try.

You can try to be straight, and perhaps if necessary bordering on commanding about it.

You can find another couple or another girl to come to the gym with her (careful who you choose, if she acts the same in the gym they will be kindred spirits of mediocrity).  The idea is to make her comfortable with trying hard.

You can find out what is at the origin of her laziness.  Often girls will not want to undignify themselves in the gym and so forth.  There are a 1000 reasons.

You can try to subtlely encourage her into fitness, maybe take her to a show or an expo or something, have her meet girls in good shape.

You can get her jealous by using the same idea as the last one (jealousy is a tool in the right hands, sorry girls I know that sounds harsh, sometimes you need a bit of enthusiasm).

You can organise a situation where she meets or talks to someone who has suffered what you are talking about.  Make her realise.

You can try to find her a type of cardio exercise that she does like.  Running on a treadmill or any cardio for that matter is extremely boring in the gym.

You can explain that this is a big part of your life and that you want her to try to reciprocate.  You want her to be healthy for the rest of her life etc.

Maybe try the whole "before/after" deal.  Make some sort of deal with her where she tries hard for a month and then if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to continue.


I could go on forever.  I would suggest the best way is find her an active female gym partner.  Positive reinforcement.

[CQ]

She's also intimidated because it bothers her that guys gauk at her when she's there... any suggestions

Not trying to be rude here but.....

Wear a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants and I highly doubt this will be a big issue. What is she wearing to make guys gawk at her so much as to intimidate her? Or is the gym full of sex maniacs

Sorry, no offense, but I have seen many beautiful women with great bodies stroll in a gym, train and not be gawked at. Looked at sure, but unless a woman is a total hog she should be used to that occurring. They just dress to deflect attention. Now, if you are wearing hot shorts and a sportsbra [which one has every right to of course] you will be gawked at. That simple.

PS: LOL Medford

[rocket]

I don't think it really matters whether she's being "looked" or "gawked" at CQ, its what goes on inside the head that counts and it likely isn't the right way of thinking whatever it is.

I would say consider her going to an all female gym but I just realised you can't really make sure she's actually trying there.

[swoody]

Thanks guys... I appreciate all of your positive feedback, and will definitely consider all of it.

[muscleforlife]

Hello,
it is hard to have someone do something they aren't interested in doing.
What you can do is get her to do an activity she enjoys, bike riding,hiking, swimming, etc.
Once she sees and feels results, she may want to do some lifting.
Get her a personal trainer to introduce her to other ways of lifting other than weights. 
Swiss ball, med balls, tube/bands, bosu, etc.


Also, just remind her what she will look like at her moms' age if she doesn't take care of her health.  It's not only about the outside looking good, it's about the inside being healthy.

Sandra

[Rick Lohre]

What I've learned and most men should understand is - if she isn't into it, don't push it.
The worst thing you can do is tell a gal what you want her to look like...or what you want her to be like.

Now that said, you can play up what athleticism is there....

"Wow, honey you really have a naturally fit build, if you ever want to work out with me, I'd be flattered...?"

"Jeez babe, your flexibility is great, have you ever done any gymnastics...?"

"You want to go do an obstacle/workout course date and follow it up with a nice dinner to reward ourselves?"

One thing that a lot of women I meet have said is, I don't want to be gross and have a lot of muscle like Lou or Arnold -or- I don't want to get all veiny and Hulked out.  Women are often afraid of the image of having a lot of muscle and think by picking up anything bigger than the 2.5lb dumbells will turn her into the next Cory Everson. 

Digging deeper into that, many have a stereotype of what most fitness & figure athletes look like (year round)...and that stems from contest shots and workout shots where most of them are in their "competition/dieted down" state. 

What I have told many women is "Look, what you see there is the extreme, a two week window of what those women look like during prep for a contest."  Most often, they say "Really?" and then they are a bit more open to the idea and want to learn a bit more. 

I posted something similar to another topic just a few minutes ago...see below.

I'll add, my wife and I train together, now she's an IFBB Pro but still we get a great workout together and neither one of our training suffers from this.  I used to think, I need a guy to work out with, but to be honest having a really hot babe to impress while working out tends to push a man more than having your smelly bud spot you on bench press.  The view is a bit better too!     (Sorry babe)  Her openness to new training techniques has been better too.  Back when, she wouldn't have even considered doing deadlifts etc., now though we both tend to give creative suggestions on workouts neither one would have considered before....

Previous Post
One thing that often catches their attention is the fact that:
more muscle = higher resting metabolism = more fat burning potential

If you really want to get a women into working out and all else fails, tell her that the more muscle her body has, the more fat she has the potential to burn.  Most will be mesmorized by this and BAM their hooked. 

Be forewarned though and know from experience once their hooked on working out, you'll never rest again!  Seriously, I'm dead serious.

Rick Lohre
www.lohrecreative.com

[flutterby me]

get her to do pole dancing classes great exercise,harder than it looks and you will reeeeeeeeeeeppppppppp the rewards!!!!

[ToxicAvenger]

I'm sure this question has been asked before, which I have read, but not come to the answers I need... I was raised in a very active family... fitness is a part of our lives. My fiance was not... she was raised in a sedentary lifestyle... both of her parents are overweight. She is not, and looks good, but I am afraid that her parents genes will set in sooner or later and change all that. I want to get her into the habit of working out, but she says it isn't a priority in her life. Also, she is at a high risk for type 2 diabetes (the one that isn't as bad) because it runs in her family. She is only going to the gym twice a week with me, which is a start, but she doesn't do anything to get a workout in... pretty much just plays on the equipment. I want her to have a healthy lifestyle like myself so that she isn't unhappy and diabetic down the road... how should I approach her, if at all, and what should I do?
      Also, Is there any way I can approach her so she doesn't freak out and get the wrong message? Also, ladies, is it intimidating to you if you boyfriend, fiance or husband works out with you, or is it better if she works out by herself? She's also intimidated because it bothers her that guys gauk at her when she's there... any suggestions

she's your fiance so this might not work but i've fixed this before by introducing my girlfriend to my 'workout partner' who happened to be a hot chick..

my girl started taking an immense interest in working out all of a sudden...

sounds harsh..but worked for me.

women love men other women love..not only she'll start going to the gym..she'll all of a sudden start fucking your brains out also..

[Playboy]

I'm sure this question has been asked before, which I have read, but not come to the answers I need... I was raised in a very active family... fitness is a part of our lives. My fiance was not... she was raised in a sedentary lifestyle... both of her parents are overweight. She is not, and looks good, but I am afraid that her parents genes will set in sooner or later and change all that. I want to get her into the habit of working out, but she says it isn't a priority in her life. Also, she is at a high risk for type 2 diabetes (the one that isn't as bad) because it runs in her family. She is only going to the gym twice a week with me, which is a start, but she doesn't do anything to get a workout in... pretty much just plays on the equipment. I want her to have a healthy lifestyle like myself so that she isn't unhappy and diabetic down the road... how should I approach her, if at all, and what should I do?
      Also, Is there any way I can approach her so she doesn't freak out and get the wrong message? Also, ladies, is it intimidating to you if you boyfriend, fiance or husband works out with you, or is it better if she works out by herself? She's also intimidated because it bothers her that guys gauk at her when she's there... any suggestions

There are lots of other things you can do to trim down. Roller blading, bike riding, long brisk walks, etc. You can do these things together and be more healthy and fit for it. You certainly do not need a gym to trim down. Make it fun for her.

PB