Author Topic: I am starting a new religion  (Read 8322 times)

body88

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I am starting a new religion
« on: June 22, 2006, 10:20:24 PM »
I plan to start a religion.

I am God and bast is co God/miracle pimper. I am currently writing out our form of the bible so stay tuned for details. It is a work in progress as Bast has to pimp the rest of his miracles.

I will leave a sign up sheet for you guys. Make sure you print you're name since cursive is a MAJOR sin. Punishable by death even!

There will be cookies and animal crackers served as refreshments at sign ups. We also will have mini box's of cereal if you guys like those ( Do not touch the cheerios those are my favorite)

If anyone has a keyboard or kareoke machine (one that accepts a micraphone) and could let me borrow it I will make you a saint right of the bat. My grandma took my keyboard to square dancing and I need something to sing our theme song on. Thanks!

Hope to see you all there!

Bast175

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2006, 11:11:30 PM »
I'm excited about this I have to say.  I'm working on getting arm bands, bro.

Bigger Business

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2006, 11:57:27 PM »
you guys are really silly guys...just some guys havin some fun and guys feeling good

good on you guys

Deedee

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2006, 06:49:08 AM »
Does everyone get to wear white robes? And from now on, does Bast get referred to as "Papa Love"?

Butterbean

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2006, 07:03:54 AM »
I am currently writing out our form of the bible so stay tuned for details.

Make sure you keep using spellcheck so we know it's in English ;D



Will you have pendant key chains?
R

Deedee

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2006, 07:54:56 AM »
Will you have pendant key chains?

Lol, or bumper stickers that say, "Powered by Papa Love"?

OzmO

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2006, 08:39:34 AM »
Can the followers worship your breasts?

And if so can we take communion based on that?

And what's your view on casual sex?

body88

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2006, 08:58:30 AM »
I'm excited about this I have to say.  I'm working on getting arm bands, bro.


Yes Bast arm bands are just what the doctor ordered. I think we need bumper stickers with a catchy slogan. Any good ideas? We also must include ninjas and vikings in our religion.

body88

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2006, 09:00:17 AM »
you guys are really silly guys...just some guys havin some fun and guys feeling good

good on you guys


Thanks for the kind words. BB we have a pope position available if you are interested. The only requirments are that you are good with animals and like horse radish.... I think you are just the man for the job.

body88

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2006, 09:01:46 AM »
Does everyone get to wear white robes? And from now on, does Bast get referred to as "Papa Love"?

Dee I just noticed your idea of bumper stickers after I called for some. great thinking! We have a saint position available if you are interested. The only requirements are you dislike power rangers and are good with mammals!

body88

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!!
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2006, 09:05:17 AM »
Make sure you keep using spellcheck so we know it's in English ;D



Will you have pendant key chains?

Stella spell check is a staple of our religion. One of the commandments if you will. It goes a little something like this.

THOU SHALL USE SPELL CHECK MAN!!!!

We will not be having keychains this year. But we will be passing out bumper stickers and nail guns. feel free to enjoy the refreshments!

Deedee

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2006, 09:06:48 AM »
Dee I just noticed your idea of bumper stickers after I called for some. great thinking! We have a saint position available if you are interested. The only requirements are you dislike power rangers and are good with mammals!

Well, I'm still doing freelance work for some of the minor demons, but I like your outfit and would be thrilled to join your team. I hate power rangers and do well with small children and animals. I'm also willing to help out with licking envelopes for mass recruitment mailings.

body88

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2006, 09:07:43 AM »
Can the followers worship your breasts?

And if so can we take communion based on that?

And what's your view on casual sex?

Ozmo

You raise some great points.

Boobs are actually a god in this religion. Brestasidus to be exact. It is perfectly fine to worship boobs.

Casual sex is fine as long as you write the girl a brief but to the point love letter. (double spaced)

here is a sample.




Dear Sandy,

Your eyes are like the ocean. I am very fond of your personality

with love

Body!!!!

body88

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #13 on: June 23, 2006, 09:08:54 AM »
Well, I'm still doing freelance work for some of the minor demons, but I like your outfit and would be thrilled to join your team. I hate power rangers and do well with small children and animals. I'm also willing to help out with licking envelopes for mass recruitment mailings.

Great you seem like a valuable addition to he team! Stay tuned for details!

Butterbean

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Re: !!
« Reply #14 on: June 23, 2006, 09:40:02 AM »
Stella spell check is a staple of our religion. One of the commandments if you will. It goes a little something like this.

THOU SHALL USE SPELL CHECK MAN!!!!

We will not be having keychains this year. But we will be passing out bumper stickers and nail guns. feel free to enjoy the refreshments!

Will this be your first hymn?


Building A Religion by Cake



We are building a religion,
We are building it bigger
We are widening the corridors and adding more lanes
We are building a religion.
A limited edition

We are now accepting callers for these pendant keychains
To resist it is useless,
It is useless to resist it
His cigarette is burning but it never seems to ash
He is building his pool
He is living comfort eagle
You can meet at his location but you'd better come with cash

Now his hat is on backwards. He can show you his tattoos
He is in the music buisness he is calling you "DUDE!"

Now today is tomorrow and tomorrow's today
And yesterday is weaving in and out
And the fluffy white lines that the airplane leaves behind
Are drifting right in front of the waning of the moon

He is handling the money. He's serving the food
He knows about your party. He is calling you "DUDE!"

Now, do you believe in the one big sign?
The double wide shine on the boot hills of your prime
Doesn't matter if you're skinny. Doesn't matter if you're fat.
You can dress up like a sultan in your onion-head hat

We are bulding a religion. We are making a brand
We're the only ones to turn to when your castles turn to sand
Take a bit of this apple, Mr. Corporate Events
Take a walk through the jungle of cardboard shanties and tents
Some people drink pepsi. Some people drink coke. (coke)
The wacky morning d.j. says democracy's a joke.

He says now, "Do you believe in the one big song?"
He's now accepting callers who would like to sing along
He says, "Do you believe in the one true edge?"
By fastening your saftey belts and stepping towards the ledge

He is handling the money. He is serving the food.
He is now accepting callers. He is calling me "DUDE!"

Do you believe in the one big sign?
The double wide shine on the boot hills of your prime.
There's no need to ask directions if you ever lose your mind
We're behind you. We're behind you.
And let us please remind you
We can send a car to find you
If you ever lose your way

We are building a religion...
We are building it bigger...
We are building............... a religion.......
A limited edition
We are now accepting callers for these beautiful pendant keychains


R

OzmO

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #15 on: June 23, 2006, 10:49:16 AM »
Ozmo

You raise some great points.

Boobs are actually a god in this religion. Brestasidus to be exact. It is perfectly fine to worship boobs.

Casual sex is fine as long as you write the girl a brief but to the point love letter. (double spaced)

here is a sample.




Dear Sandy,

Your eyes are like the ocean. I am very fond of your personality

with love

Body!!!!

Ok,

How's this:


Dear Sandy,

You voice brings me joy and eternal peace.  I love to explore your garden again and again and then yet again and then again some more and then again for the new religion and then once again for the road.

with love............again.

OzmO


?? 


body88

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #16 on: June 23, 2006, 03:20:51 PM »
Great job you are good to go!

Bast175

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #17 on: June 23, 2006, 03:27:37 PM »

Yes Bast arm bands are just what the doctor ordered. I think we need bumper stickers with a catchy slogan. Any good ideas? We also must include ninjas and vikings in our religion.






Migs

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #18 on: June 23, 2006, 03:55:49 PM »
WWPLD?

body88

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #19 on: June 23, 2006, 06:12:25 PM »






Bast this is why you are head miracle pimper.



We need a variation of the pope mobile to keep the babes away.

body88

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #20 on: June 23, 2006, 06:22:34 PM »
Things we have so far

A few slogans to denounce the competiotn -thanks Bast

List of the god

Body88
Bast175
Breastasidus
vaginasourus
(more to be named later)

Resident hot christian : Stella

Pope bigger bussiness

Saints

Ozmo
Deedee

Deedee

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #21 on: June 24, 2006, 07:37:51 PM »
Can the followers worship your breasts?

And if so can we take communion based on that?


And what's your view on casual sex?

Rather odd requests, but I guess since it's a cult anything goes...  :-\

body88

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #22 on: June 24, 2006, 09:51:31 PM »
You can worship anything from boobs to toasters....

Whatever floats your boat!

Bast175

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #23 on: June 28, 2006, 06:50:47 PM »
We are holding mass suicides this satuday.  Everyone please come!  It's our last meeting you can't miss it!


body88

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Re: I am starting a new religion
« Reply #24 on: June 29, 2006, 09:37:03 PM »
LMAO!!!!


Bast!!!!! Did you purchase the anti freeze???? I got the m80s and cyanide!