pre-marital sex in the age of the Real World

[Al-Gebra]

a 22 y o girl who works in our mailroom is engaged to one of our 33 y o IT guys.  he's cool for an IT guy, but she is very pretty, ex-cheerleader, sorority girl, etc . . . she is also a baptist and a virgin. the dude's also a baptist, and I think that's why she agreed to marry him.

a couple days ago one of my buddies stepped into the mailroom for a minute.  my buddy had been at high school w the IT guy, and Steph (the 22 y o) asked him what her fiance was like in high school.  so my buddy--who is kind of a jackass--tells her that IT guy was known for having a small penis.  he was joking around, and didn't think twice about what he said. 

anyhow, I went to the mailroom today, and steph wasn't there, but anna--hispanic milf--was there.  anna says that my jackass buddy's comment had upset steph . . . who is now concerned about what her sex life is going to be like.   

so, i was wondering what the Christian method of addressing issues like this was? I had several church friends growing up, but we all tested our sexual compatibility by having sex, so I don't know how Steph is going to solve her problem. she could ask, I guess, but anna says that's a bad idea and would probably give IT guy a complex. I suggested that Anna tell her to make a grab for it. But apparently Steph is not even into heavy "petting" (of course she isn't, what other hottie gets engaged at 21?)

anyhow, the part i find funniest is that she wants a guy with a good sized schlong . . . even though she won't put out.

so, christian ladies and gentlemen, how have you addressed this issue--sexual compatibility--in your own lives?

[Purge_WTF]

  Communication is key. Faith and sexual prudishness don't always go hand-in-hand, nor should they. A husband and wife should be comfortable enough to let each other know what they like or don't like when it comes to intimacy. It's quite a shame that your friend had to get diarrhea of the mouth like that, and it's an even bigger shame that Steph had to buy into it story hook, line and sinker. And if she's never had sex before, why is she so concerned about size? Does she want bragging rights? She sounds too young and naive to handle marriage.

[Al-Gebra]

She sounds too young and naive to handle marriage.

i think there's definitely something weird going on . . . I don't know her well enough to know exactly what.  She did mention once that her mother told her to marry a younger guy . . . and I think the fact that she hasn't been with anyone has more to do with other issues than with her faith. she is very typically texas ex/woodlands princess in the way she carries/dresses herself, but on this one issue she has decided to outdo the most committed nun. 

  Communication is key. Faith and sexual prudishness don't always go hand-in-hand, nor should they. A husband and wife should be comfortable enough to let each other know what they like or don't like when it comes to intimacy

I agree, but I don't know how far communication can help with sexual compatibility. I'm very communicative and receptive to what women have to say, but I've found that in some cases, all the communication in the world is not going to make  for a good experience . . . especially for the woman. it has more to do with personality and physiology than it has to do with communication.


 i guess if you were committed to christian mores, then sex would not be as high on your list of "needs," but for me it is.  I think in our culture women are programmed to have expectations that may not be satisfied if they don't "shop" around.


finally, christian mores make more sense in a culture in which the woman is completely dependent on her husband for her living.

[ToxicAvenger]

  he's cool for an IT guy,