Author Topic: Best tampon.....  (Read 22545 times)

Laura Lee

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #100 on: September 08, 2006, 03:27:05 AM »
Lemme guess... uterus taken out, ...but ovaries left in tact?
just one.  :)
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Original Sin

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #101 on: September 08, 2006, 10:44:08 AM »
Okay this thread needs a little kick back on the cheery side.

So two guys in their twenties decided to do a backpack trip across Europe for summer vacation.
Being guys they were so very careful with their money and got stranded in the French country side
with only $10 left to their names.  One guy turns to the other, "what the heck are we going to do, we still have three weeks of vacation left?"  the other fellow grabs the $10 and shouts that he knows what to do while running down the street to the corner store.

A few minutes later he returns with a box of tampons.  The first fellow looks at him and says
"What are these? Tampons! how is this gong to help?"
The second looks at him blankly
"What do you mean, with these things we can now go Horseback Riding, Cycling, Swimming etc..."

Just Bad Bad Blood!

Mydavid

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #102 on: September 08, 2006, 11:19:11 AM »
Okay this thread needs a little kick back on the cheery side.

So two guys in their twenties decided to do a backpack trip across Europe for summer vacation.
Being guys they were so very careful with their money and got stranded in the French country side
with only $10 left to their names.  One guy turns to the other, "what the heck are we going to do, we still have three weeks of vacation left?"  the other fellow grabs the $10 and shouts that he knows what to do while running down the street to the corner store.

A few minutes later he returns with a box of tampons.  The first fellow looks at him and says
"What are these? Tampons! how is this gong to help?"
The second looks at him blankly
"What do you mean, with these things we can now go Horseback Riding, Cycling, Swimming etc..."



 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Lisa

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #103 on: September 08, 2006, 01:43:47 PM »
that took a second to sink in

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #104 on: September 08, 2006, 11:39:54 PM »
that took a second to sink in

Don't worry miggy. You don't have to feel left out, ...you can always use them for ...nosebleeds.  :D
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Laura Lee

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #105 on: September 09, 2006, 09:07:16 AM »
Don't worry miggy. You don't have to feel left out, ...you can always use them for ...nosebleeds.  :D
Why not, when my son was really small he came out with one in his ear and was telling me he was cleaning his ears.  Too funny, then when I went into the bathroom to see what he was getting into, he pointed to all the pads stuck on the walls and door and said "look mommy...stickers".  I don't think I ever laughed so hard in all my life.
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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #106 on: September 09, 2006, 09:56:46 AM »
I got the idea from an episode of "Sex and the City".
Miranda's ex gets a nosebleed, ...and they stick a tampon up his nose. <lol>
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Deedee

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #107 on: September 09, 2006, 10:02:09 AM »
Apparently they're also good in a pinch for plugging up bullet wounds, as well as cleaning out the holes in bowling balls.  :P

Laura Lee

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #108 on: September 09, 2006, 10:06:40 AM »
Apparently they're also good in a pinch for plugging up bullet wounds, as well as cleaning out the holes in bowling balls.  :P
hmmmm, and you know this how?  :o
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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #109 on: September 09, 2006, 11:56:13 AM »
Lol, I don't know any bowlers... I read it somewhere, along with how a Marine saved his buddy's life by sticking a tampoon into his wound to keep him from bleeding to death. Also, apparently maxi pads with wings are good for cleaning... you just wrap the sticky part around your hand and go...

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #110 on: September 09, 2006, 08:28:21 PM »
Lol, I don't know any bowlers... I read it somewhere, along with how a Marine saved his buddy's life by sticking a tampoon into his wound to keep him from bleeding to death.

Which naturally begs to ask ...just how and why did he have the tampons to begin with?  :o
I've heard some gay men use them to give themselves a bit of a discreet BUZZ ON thru the day  :-X

Quote
Also, apparently maxi pads with wings are good for cleaning... you just wrap the sticky part around your hand and go...

  :-\   I'd rather use a swiffer.
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Deedee

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #111 on: September 10, 2006, 02:24:19 PM »
It comes from an e-mail exchange between and mom and her marine son.  He was getting care packages destined for female by mistake...

"My son said they had the most fun with Marine X’s package. He said he wasn't sure who we were sending the pack to, but the panties were size 20, and he said one of the guys got on top of the humvee and jumped off with the panties over his head and yelled, "Look at me, I'm an Airborne Ranger!!!!". He said one of the guys attached the panties to an antenna and it blew in the wind like a windsock. He said it entertained them for quite awhile.

Then of course, they had the tampons. When he brought this up my imagination was just running wild, but I let him continue. My son said they had to go on a mission and Marine X wanted the chapstick and lotion for the trip. He grabbed a bunch of the items out of his care package and got in the humvee. As luck would have it he grabbed the tampons, and My son said everyone was teasing him about "not forgetting his feminine hygiene products".

My son said things were going well, and then the convoy was ambushed. He said a Marine in the convoy was shot. He said the wound was pretty clean, but it was deep. He said they were administering first aid but couldn't get the bleeding to slow down, and someone said, "Hey use Marine X’s tampons". My son said they put the tampon in the wound. At this point my son profoundly told me, "Mom did you know that tampons expand?" ) "Well, yeah!".

They successfully slowed the bleeding and got the guy medical attention. When they went to check on him later the surgeon told them, "You guys saved his life". If you hadn't stopped that bleeding he would have bled to death. My son said, "Mom, the tampons sent by the Marine Moms by mistake saved a Marines life." At this point I asked him, "Well what did you do with the rest of the tampons?" He said, "Oh, we divided them up and we all have them in our flak jackets, and I kept two for our first aid kit".


PS. I'd rather use a swiffer too.  :)

24KT

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #112 on: September 11, 2006, 02:43:06 PM »
{LOL} Now THAT's a great story!  :)
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Butterbean

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #113 on: December 05, 2007, 07:14:02 AM »
bump :)
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Laura Lee

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #114 on: December 05, 2007, 07:53:18 AM »
bump :)
ROFLMAO,  Stella, did we really need a tampon thread bumped  :-X
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Butterbean

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #115 on: December 05, 2007, 01:38:29 PM »
ROFLMAO,  Stella, did we really need a tampon thread bumped  :-X
Yes.  Yes we did  :)
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xxxLinda

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #116 on: December 06, 2007, 07:29:54 AM »
Of course we did.  I'd not actually read it properly and now I have.

I'd never understood why tampons went all long instead of going sideways like they do on the adverts.  & I have never been able to get one in without an applicator. 

Like ~flower~, I figured it was my internal muscles and the fact that I did not have children (and when I have a cervical smear they have to use the smallest size instrument thingy).

It's not exactly a subject which women ordinarily talk about, so it's good, I think, to discuss this subject on a forum.

Thank you so much for the information in this thread (which really should run for 100 pages).

Unfortunately I still can't do the little ones that you shove in with a finger, just can't get them in.  The only way I can get a tampon in is to lie on my back and I'm only able to use the mini ones with cardboard applicators.  They used to come with plastic applicators, but I think they did away with those because people flushed them and they ended up as debris on the beach along with all the condoms.

xL

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #117 on: December 09, 2007, 04:56:14 PM »
Tampons are good for a Bad Case of Diarrhea.... ;)
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xxxLinda

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #118 on: December 10, 2007, 03:09:23 PM »
A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons.

She notices tampons stacked on a table in a far corner with a sign on them saying, "5 boxes for a dollar" The woman just couldn't believe this price so she asked the clerk if it was correct.

He said, "Yes, five for a dollar." She said, "That can't be right!"

Clerk says, "See here? Five boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."



xL

(I once had to go to the doctor (the day after the night before), to get help to get one out, because I'd lost or couldn't find the string...

Mydavid

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #119 on: December 10, 2007, 09:58:09 PM »
A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons.
She notices tampons stacked on a table in a far corner with a sign on them saying, "5 boxes for a dollar" The woman just couldn't believe this price so she asked the clerk if it was correct.
He said, "Yes, five for a dollar." She said, "That can't be right!"
Clerk says, "See here? Five boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."
xL
(I once had to go to the doctor (the day after the night before), to get help to get one out, because I'd lost or couldn't find the string...

That was actually pretty funny but i'm drinking wine, too, so that might have helped the giggle ;D

Lisa

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #120 on: December 10, 2007, 10:04:35 PM »
My gyno told me she's been known to wear 2 at once   :o on heavy flow days when she's tied up in surgery.
:

Mydavid

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #121 on: December 10, 2007, 10:08:01 PM »
My gyno told me she's been known to wear 2 at once   :o on heavy flow days when she's tied up in surgery.

See, i never understood that...how do you do that? I'd rather just change one every hour if need be.

Lisa

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #122 on: December 11, 2007, 12:33:05 AM »
This board can be great if we give it a chance ;D


I like OB non-applicator.  It widens as it absorbs as opposed to lengthening and becoming very uncomfortable, if you know what I mean :P

More tampon talk is welcome ;D

i REALLLY hate ob non-applicator.  It's just a wad of COTTON.   I don't know how you are able to slide that in, it's so DRY. 

Butterbean

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #123 on: December 11, 2007, 06:39:25 AM »
i REALLLY hate ob non-applicator.  It's just a wad of COTTON.   I don't know how you are able to slide that in, it's so DRY. 
Hi SCW ;D

They at one point had "coated" ones which made the surface more slippery.  Not sure if they still make them that way?
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xxxLinda

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Re: Best tampon.....
« Reply #124 on: December 11, 2007, 08:53:52 AM »
My gyno told me she's been known to wear 2 at once   :o on heavy flow days when she's tied up in surgery.

and that is about the most ill-informed info i've ever heard from a female professional health gyno person in surgery.  she ought not be allowed to give advice or even voice an opinion like that.


surely a super maxi tampon and a big pad if it's that bad would be more appropriate (or just call in sick !!!

xL