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Author Topic: I would like some advice, please  (Read 7928 times)
Original Sin
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« on: September 18, 2006, 09:40:38 AM »

Hey Ladies, Migs and even random men I would like your opinions on this.  Since my "advice" seems to greatly differ from most of you I would like some insight, please.  I have pretty well already made up my mind about what I will do, but I like to think of you gals as "the better Angels of my soul".

A guy I have known since I was sixteen (and yes he was my first) contacted me for dinner and drinks.
We hadn't really spoken in the last few years as his wife doesn't like me.  I ran into him at a Stampede party in July and we laughed and talked like no time had passed.  He even gave me a job as an office cow for two entire days before I screwed that one up (Damn funny story in my books).  We parted ways and I hadn't heard from him since then.

He called my Friday and invited me out for Dinner, Dancing and some Drinks, I accepted.  So during drinks on Saturday he told me his wife left him and took the kids earlier in the week and he wished to have somebody he could talk to about his feelings.  Now I know where this is going to lead it always has with us.  We've tried being together at least 6 times and it never works out.  We have travelled together numerous times to places like Vegas and we have "played the slots" without leaving the hotel room.
Then at the end of the trip, a peck on the cheek and we go our own separate ways.

I know he is looking for emotional AND physical comfort.  I am just not sure I can do this right now as I am still a little bit of a emotional train wreck myself.
That is the advice part...  Smiley
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xxxLinda
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thank you Ron & Getbig, I've had so much fun


« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2006, 09:44:06 AM »

find an unmarried toy boy

xL
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Deedee
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They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.


« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2006, 09:48:27 AM »

Sometimes it's too tempting when the sex is good to say no.  And if that's the case, then it's the "the heart wants what it wants" scenario.  But other than that really, what do you get out of it, except drained?  Undecided
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The BEAST
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« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2006, 09:58:54 AM »

You already know that it isn't worth it...you said it in your last sentence.  Say thanks but right now I have myself to take care of-his problems are not your problems, don't let them be.
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Jennifer
xxxLinda
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thank you Ron & Getbig, I've had so much fun


« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2006, 10:03:24 AM »

so sorry, i'm useless at advice.  I've made the same mistakes 20x.

I think you need to do it over and over and then one day you get it right?


with love
Linda
x


ps:  don't go there unless you absolutely have to.  but maybe he's a nice guy?
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Butterbean
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« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2006, 10:07:28 AM »

You already know that it isn't worth it...you said it in your last sentence.  Say thanks but right now I have myself to take care of-his problems are not your problems, don't let them be.

agree
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R
proschic
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« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2006, 10:09:20 AM »

Honey...you do what will make you happy.

But take this into consideration....you are an attractive, hot, young SINGLE girl.  You make your OWN money, take care of yourself and lead your OWN life.  You have what many men want in a woman.  There are so many SINGLE men in this world that you could have....SINGLE being the key word.  You say you have your own issues with this guy and have tried 6 times to have a decent relationship.  What you do need, IMO, is a decent guy that has no baggage and just wants to cater to you.  Why put your time and effort into a guy that has a wife, kids and is emotionally unstable.  

Its a train wreck waiting to happen....and you will be the one who hurts more.  He has a wife and kids to go home to when its all said and done.  Sex may be good, but its only sex.  That only goes so far before its monotonous.

tasha
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xxxLinda
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« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2006, 10:15:51 AM »

agree 100%
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xxxLinda
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« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2006, 10:36:16 AM »

I dreampt last night about scrolling through all of this.  I could feel my fingers and toes and my mouse.
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Always Sore
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« Reply #9 on: September 18, 2006, 11:55:27 AM »

I get to use one of my favorite expressions. Hell is the belief that doing the same thing will yield different results. "repeating yesterday" is never a fun cycle. To many times its easy to go for the comfortable and what you know regarding sleeping with a ex but its always a bad thing that keeps you in the same cycle forever. Better to go without then to ever go back.
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Migs
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« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2006, 11:56:39 AM »

Trust me, i doubt he's looking for emotional support.  It is my opinion that you need to take care of your own house before taking care of someone elses.  If i were you, i would simply but politely say no to hsi offer, or rather retract your previous acceptence and move on.  Emotional and physical crutches only tend to make people more disabled.  It's just my two cents, but take care of yourself and if he needs emotional support he can go to one of his freinds that he's kept in touch with more frequently or go to counseling.
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MMM BOOBIES
YoMamaBeenLurking
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« Reply #11 on: September 18, 2006, 12:00:22 PM »

I don't get what advice you're asking for?  You obviously know that this will go nowhere beyond a few drinks and an orgasm in exchange for listening to a tale of woe. 

So, that being the case, you either go, nod your head, say a few "I understands" get your booze on and then get eachother's rocks off until the next time, or you sit home with a glass of wine and a vibrator.

Mods, not being callous or cras, just giving and honest answer to her question.
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BKS - Guardian of Truth
Always Sore
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« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2006, 12:03:09 PM »

I don't get what advice you're asking for?  You obviously know that this will go nowhere beyond a few drinks and an orgasm in exchange for listening to a tale of woe. 

So, that being the case, you either go, nod your head, say a few "I understands" get your booze on and then get eachother's rocks off until the next time, or you sit home with a glass of wine and a vibrator.
Mods, not being callous or cras, just giving and honest answer to her question.

normal night at miggirino's...sorry I know its going to get deleted..Smiley
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YoMamaBeenLurking
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« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2006, 12:04:58 PM »

normal night at miggirino's...sorry I know its going to get deleted..Smiley

ROFLMAO Grin Grin Grin
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BKS - Guardian of Truth
Migs
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THERE WAS A FIRE FIGHT!!!!


« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2006, 12:07:44 PM »

damn no love here, lol
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MMM BOOBIES
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« Reply #15 on: September 18, 2006, 12:42:08 PM »

I am just not sure I can do this right now

  that there is your own advice.   Smiley
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%
youandme
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« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2006, 01:28:03 PM »

Trust me, i doubt he's looking for emotional support.  It is my opinion that you need to take care of your own house before taking care of someone elses.  If i were you, i would simply but politely say no to hsi offer, or rather retract your previous acceptence and move on.  Emotional and physical crutches only tend to make people more disabled.  It's just my two cents, but take care of yourself and if he needs emotional support he can go to one of his freinds that he's kept in touch with more frequently or go to counseling.

Right he's not really looking for emotional support he will look to his buddies for that and laughs, and the "what to do now" song and dance. either he's going to take you for a ride or your going take him for a ride  Wink

If I were you....I'd keep in touch...16 years right? It's not going anywhere so keep it like that, he already has his mind made up you need to make yours up...and have fun with it...
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ToxicAvenger
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« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2006, 06:59:44 PM »

Hey Ladies, Migs and even random men I would like your opinions on this.  Since my "advice" seems to greatly differ from most of you I would like some insight, please.  I have pretty well already made up my mind about what I will do, but I like to think of you gals as "the better Angels of my soul".

A guy I have known since I was sixteen (and yes he was my first) contacted me for dinner and drinks.
We hadn't really spoken in the last few years as his wife doesn't like me.  I ran into him at a Stampede party in July and we laughed and talked like no time had passed.  He even gave me a job as an office cow for two entire days before I screwed that one up (Damn funny story in my books).  We parted ways and I hadn't heard from him since then.

He called my Friday and invited me out for Dinner, Dancing and some Drinks, I accepted.  So during drinks on Saturday he told me his wife left him and took the kids earlier in the week and he wished to have somebody he could talk to about his feelings.  Now I know where this is going to lead it always has with us.  We've tried being together at least 6 times and it never works out.  We have travelled together numerous times to places like Vegas and we have "played the slots" without leaving the hotel room.
Then at the end of the trip, a peck on the cheek and we go our own separate ways.

I know he is looking for emotional AND physical comfort.  I am just not sure I can do this right now as I am still a little bit of a emotional train wreck myself.
That is the advice part...  Smiley


hon...chivalry and cavilry are the only things i hold abovve love...

most of the time they go hand in hand...in this case they dont...

a man...(not a male)..but a man DOES NOT....i repeat ..DOES NOT...entice other women when he is married.

its that simple...

what makes u think he wont do the same with you?  and that is a crass way of putting it......


high road...robert frost...and all that...he loved this woman enough to have given his soul to her (marriage)....do you want to be the one that enables him to disregard that?
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« Reply #18 on: September 18, 2006, 07:12:31 PM »

Bad news. You already know that tho. You're gonna do whatever you're gonna do, ...but in the end can you live with yourself? If you were truly a friend to him, ...and yourself for that matter, you'd already know what to do without having to seek out our advice on it.

Just my 2 cents.
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w
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« Reply #19 on: September 19, 2006, 12:23:07 AM »

so youve been 'seeing' him while he was married?
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Playboy
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« Reply #20 on: September 19, 2006, 06:01:16 AM »

Hey Ladies, Migs and even random men I would like your opinions on this.  Since my "advice" seems to greatly differ from most of you I would like some insight, please.  I have pretty well already made up my mind about what I will do, but I like to think of you gals as "the better Angels of my soul".

A guy I have known since I was sixteen (and yes he was my first) contacted me for dinner and drinks.
We hadn't really spoken in the last few years as his wife doesn't like me.  I ran into him at a Stampede party in July and we laughed and talked like no time had passed.  He even gave me a job as an office cow for two entire days before I screwed that one up (Damn funny story in my books).  We parted ways and I hadn't heard from him since then.

He called my Friday and invited me out for Dinner, Dancing and some Drinks, I accepted.  So during drinks on Saturday he told me his wife left him and took the kids earlier in the week and he wished to have somebody he could talk to about his feelings.  Now I know where this is going to lead it always has with us.  We've tried being together at least 6 times and it never works out.  We have travelled together numerous times to places like Vegas and we have "played the slots" without leaving the hotel room.
Then at the end of the trip, a peck on the cheek and we go our own separate ways.

I know he is looking for emotional AND physical comfort.  I am just not sure I can do this right now as I am still a little bit of a emotional train wreck myself.
That is the advice part...  Smiley
Hi there Original Sin.
Here's my two pennies worth. If I were you I would move on before this snowballs into something ugly. He is seperated (not divorced) and he has children. When the reality hits him that he WILL have to pay child support and alimony he will run back to her and do everything in his power to salvage his marriage and you will be always ranked #2. Personally, I would never take a second seat to anyone. Whats done is done, you had your fun now move on. There are plenty of single men who would love your company wether its for pleasure or fun.

PB
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Deedee
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They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.


« Reply #21 on: September 19, 2006, 06:19:17 AM »

Hi there Original Sin.
Here's my two pennies worth. If I were you I would move on before this snowballs into something ugly. He is seperated (not divorced) and he has children. When the reality hits him that he WILL have to pay child support and alimony he will run back to her and do everything in his power to salvage his marriage and you will be always ranked #2. Personally, I would never take a second seat to anyone. Whats done is done, you had your fun now move on. There are plenty of single men who would love your company wether its for pleasure or fun.

PB

It's Calgary though, right?  Undecided

Original Sin, girl, you need to move to Toronto, or Montreal.   Smiley
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Playboy
Getbig V
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« Reply #22 on: September 19, 2006, 08:22:57 AM »

It's Calgary though, right?  Undecided

Original Sin, girl, you need to move to Toronto, or Montreal.   Smiley
Toronto & Montreal are great meat markets if you are single.

PB
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Deedee
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They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.


« Reply #23 on: September 19, 2006, 10:00:31 AM »

That's very true.  (PB I'm guessing  you represent the Toronto committee?)

But both cities are also filled with great relationship guys too.  Smiley
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Original Sin
Getbig IV
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You fucking disappoint me!


« Reply #24 on: September 19, 2006, 10:18:54 AM »

It's Calgary though, right?  Undecided

Original Sin, girl, you need to move to Toronto, or Montreal.   Smiley

Umm No,
I am an Albertan a loyal slave in the Kingdom of King Ralph
"Eastern Creeps and Bums" and all that j/k   Grin

Dancing in Montreal is a very different scummy thing, so no way for me.
and
I don't wish to live in the "Center of the Universe"  Grin
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Just Bad Bad Blood!
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