Brutal juicebox meltdown of Nephrotic proportion.
Ligthen up no one, you're acting like a bitch. You know what you're doing to your body isn't good nor sustainable. You're meant to be tall skinny 190lb at most. Live with it and stop trying to be something that you're not. The chemical meatsuit you so cherish... won't be there to hug you in a few years. 40yo+ and chasing the bodybuilding look... its all down hill while the rest of us have just begun so many more rewarding journeys....