Washington Post:
Last week's prizewinner in the misdirected apology sweepstakes was the actor Alec Baldwin, who got caught on tape calling his 11-year-old daughter a "rude, thoughtless little pig" who lacked "brains or decency as a human being." Baldwin issued an apology on (where else?) his personal Web site. "Although I have been told by numerous people not to worry too much, as all parents lose patients with their kids, I am most saddened that this was released to the media because of what it does to a child...I am sorry for what happened. But I am equally sorry that a court order was violated."
Baldwin's language is revealing--what "it" does to a child. How about what he did to his child? Baldwin ought to be on his knees to his daughter, and he ought to be seeing a therapist who, perhaps, can make him understand the impact of such words on a young girl when they come from her father. But he probably prefers the reassurances of sycophants who tell him that "all parents lose patience with their kids." Yes, they do. But all parents don't call their kids pigs.
A final mark of the non-apologetic apology is the statement, "It's time to put this behind us." Translation: I want to put this behind me. Again, this sort of weasel-like apology occurs in both public and private life.
In private life, the non-apologetic apology shifts the burden from the offender to the offended. A cheating spouse says, "I'm sorry you were hurt." Translation: "If only you would stop making such a fuss and stop crying your eyes out, we could get back to normal."
In 21st-century America, unearned forgiveness is the secular twin of cheap grace. They mean the same thing: the apologizer expects to be forgiven simply because he says that he's sorry.