Div,
i think everyone has pointed out the obvious and i agree with what Luv, Rim and trab are saying. she seems like an emotional rollercoaster and the fact that she also went towards her high school sweetheart shows she is in a backwards slide to reform her past. basically she wants to make up for lost time during her horrible wedding days. you might have been a rebound or she might have really liked you, either way she is pushing you away.
you are a calm and down to earth guy but this women is taking you for a ride, well from what i can tell at least. she might like you but she might also be scared of a new serious relationship, specially with kids involved. most women like to run wild after a divorce, I've seen this first hand. I've had women try to use me as their "talk to" guy when they were having divorce issues. every time they tried to get me to sleep with them but i never did because i respect that wedding right. I'm not saying what you did was wrong by any means, but I've never actually done it so i don't know how it feels. you didn't cheat, she did.
i will say that sometimes we find the "one" and it changes your every breath. I've dated and slept with tons of women and i never imagined settling for one. but about a year ago i met a girl that changed my entire outlook on life and it was the best thing that happen to me. she had just broken up from an 8 year engagement with a doctor and i met her when she was still down, just a few months after the breakup. he had treated her like shit(controlled her every movement) and cheated on her while he was away for training. after talking with her and her broken English for 3 days i couldn't imagine how anyone could hurt a girl like this, she is the most thoughtful person I've met in my entire life. her life has been filled with hardship and war, most women have no idea what she has been through from an early age.
we moved into a relationship rather quickly and we both have enjoyed so much with each other that we never thought was possible(due to our different cultures). i wouldn't say i was her "rebound" by any means, because we are still head over heals with each other a year later. this girl has been through more hardship than anyone could imagine, so i hold her very close to my heart and i feel i am here to protect her from any more harm. this is the first girl i can hold through the night and not think of sex the entire time, i truly care for her every breath.
now i'm dealing with "her" family, and they do not approve of me because i'm "white". i find this odd but it's the way vietnamese culture is in the old tradition. her family won't even speak to me, but i'm still trying hard to prove them wrong. it's taken a toll on her to fight her family over me, and that's unheard of in her culture. family mean everything to them but i'm stuck in the middle. time will tell...
what I'm saying is i guess you would know by now if she was the "one". judging by "her" actions i would tell you to move on but i know when a girl rings your bell it is very hard to walk away. i was attracted to a girl many years ago that didn't want me for anything more than a "good time". i fell for this girl and it was one of the hardest things i went through. it took me years to get over her. this is why you must let her go, for your own sake.
now i truly am happy with the girl I'm with now, and for the first time in my life I'm not thinking about other women, but I'm thinking about my future family(which for me is very strange). she is one of the main reasons why i don't use AAS anymore, because i know i would break her heart if i told her i used them. she doesn't understand AAS and i don't feel the need to bring her into that world out of respect for her. I've always been a selfish man until now, these days i think of her first. when you live and breathe a womens name all day, you know she is the one...i have changed my life completely to hold this girls hand and it's all been worth every second!...just ask trab 
good luck my friend, i feel you are educated enough to make a good decision, but i hope you walk away unharmed, she seems i little scared to be with you.
Many thanks for the your thoughts, Overload.
I think you're right about this and I understand it's probably just best to walk away, but I feel that I need some type of closure before things can be straight in my mind.
I'd like to try to be her friend because I liked her as a person way before the sex came in to the equation, thus it seems only natural that we'd go back to that afterward.
I mainly just want to see her every once in awhile, something casual perhaps.
I can deal with her as a person regardless of the sex, intimacy we had.
I'm not sure yet if she can do the same.
I think she saw me as a "
rescuer" from her bad marriage and the hell she was going through at home and I did help her in that way.
I just wish I hadn't gotten attached to her is all.
This is the first woman who's really made me feel and that's hard to just break off.
From her looks to her personality, nature.....she's the type of woman I could see myself with until the end of time, bro.
Longterm we probably wouldn't work because of her kids and I'm a bit too edgy for her but that "
darkside" is partly why she was attracted to me in the first place.
I can do things her husband never could, give her things her husband never would.
.......and then she said "....
you've ruined me for anyone else after you."
Ruined, how?
"
Sexually, you've ruined me for anyone else......."
The sex is the sex, and that doesn't change regardless of any woman I'm with.
I miss the intimacy we had.
Now, about your situation, Overload.........
It's going to be a long hard road out of hell to convince her parents that her marrying a white guy is OK when it's obviously not kosher in their culture.
Not sure how you get past that.
If you and her end up marrying, they might excommunicate her from the family.
It's sad and it would break her heart, but in some cultures, you don't marry outside your race/ethnicity.
Shit.........Suzanne and I were talking one time about this and she told me straight up that her older sister, a christian fundamentalist in Utah, would never like me because I'm Hispanic regardless of how well I treated her or how much she cared for me.
Sometimes it's just how things play out.
Don't give up on it...
DIV
