Ronnie ColemanFrom Encyclopedia DramaticaJump to: navigation, search UUUUURUGGUURURUGH!!!Ronnie Coleman was born in 1922 Last Thursday. He grew up in Kenbucket, Kentucky. In 1952, an order from the deputy of Colonel Sanders came through into the villiage of Kenbucket, where, incidentally, Ronnie Coleman currently resided, like I said awhile agoes.. The order was that the strongest and fittest of the lads of the villiage were to help Sanders destroy a Demon who currently lived in the cave seven miles away from the cock sphere of megastrat, Kenbucket. Coleman and a young man called Arnold Schwarzenneger who brought along his friend Michael Jackson were ordered to slay the demon, whose name was "Plateau". The guys pumped iron on the train on the way to the cave of Plateau. When they arrived they were sent in alone. The three travelled deep into the uttermost depths of th cave, and encountered many lively but weak monsters on the way, such as skeletons with swords and shields which were either pirates or knights or footmen of some description when they were alive. They also encoutnered a baby named Joe Frazier, who breathed fire on them, then flew away. They were fatigued greatly and so fed on some of the morsels in Schwarzenneger's bag, including his steroids, etc etc etc etc etc, etc. Finally they arrived in the chamber of the monster. it greeted them with a devillish smile and commented "i'll lick your souls!". The three heroes however began punching the monster, and within five minutes, it was on the verge of death. Before it died, however, it cast a spell on Jackson and Schwarzenneger, melding their personalitites and looks to form Michael Wasanegger. Mercifully Coleman slaid this inhumane new beast which had a white face and a strange tendency to stare at nearby children in an unsettling manner after it's incarnation. He then train hopped back home to Florida. This however was only the beginning of his tale. [edit] Ronnie Coleman: A Bridge Too Far and The Rumble In The Jungle Around 1.2 years after his encounter with Plateau, Coleman caught the rare sleep disease, sleepitis. He fell into a slumber which lasted 5 years and when he woke up, in his absence the devious George Foreman had taken over the world, enslaving it's people having defeated the peaceful previous ruler of the world Joe Frazier in Just 2 rounds. Coleman then embarked on an ambitious campaign to battle Foreman. He teamed up with Muhammad Ali and began climbing the Tower Of Foreman He defeated many of Foreman's minions and stuff, only to be defeated in a courageous battle with Foreman where his cock was ripped off his balls and he was slapped with it then haymakered into a giant hamburger. He didn't regain consciousness for a very long time. Meanwhile Muhammad Ali entered the fray with Foreman in Zaire. The tough battle which ensued left many of the resources of the world stricken as Muahammad Ali ate a lot of it to restore energy between rounds in the fight. Ali luckily KOed Foreman and defeated him, thus toppling Foreman and his tower into the ruins of New York, which Foreman had burnt to a crispy slum where the citizens lived during his reign. Though Ali was the victor and not Coleman this time, Coleman still recieved extreme praise for his superb performance against Foreman before his defeat. Foreman himself was forgiven for his annihilation of millions of people, establishment of torture chambers, wide use of the worlds resources, beating everyone at Counter Strike, killing Malcolm X and Martin Luther King etc when he claimed, "I did it for the lulz". [edit] Ronnie Coleman: Decline, Death and Revival After this epic battle and series of events Coleman returned to his hometown of London and sadly announced his retirement as a superhero. He claimed he didn't have Real Ultimate Power anymore and that all the lulz had gone out of his career. Two minutes later he caught cancer and died the next day. His funeral was attended by the likes of Ronald Mcdonald, George Foreman, Muhammad Ali, Jesus Christ, Adolf Hitler and a bunch of n00bs. Two weeks later he was revived, and despite claims that he was the messiah announced he would now live a peaceful happy life in Orlando. Retrieved from "http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Ronnie_Coleman"Category: People
Epic Purple Aki reference. Are you the real Purple Aki?
Yeah do i know you kidder?
No i've never had the pleasure of making your aquaintance. I'm trying to remember what you're well known for. Trying to get young boys to touch your muscles, wasn't it?
