Thanks all. Here is my journal entry on the whole event. It's long, but it lets you know what happened...
On 4/29/09, Diki died. As she lay on the dirty floor of the animal hospital, whimpering and barely conscious, I stroked her hair while the vet administered the drugs that ended her suffering. She was thin, bloated and covered in her feces and throw-up. A sad death.
Just three days earlier, Luca, Ella, Naagu, Diki & I were at the park. Just as they usually do, Diki and Naagu ran wild across the fields. Luca & Ella played tag. There are few things in life I enjoy more than watching my loved ones laughing, playing and having fun. We’d been there for about 20 minutes when I decided to walk over to where the girls were. I sat with them under a tree and we watched the dogs play. Suddenly, Diki stopped running and started to throw up. At first we thought nothing of it, thinking she ate too much grass. Luca & I even joked about it and imitated her. Ella didn’t think it was funny and demanded that we check on her. It wasn’t until Diki laid down, that I thought something was up. She was always full of energy and loved dashing across the park fields nonstop running circles around Naagu. But now she was just lying there. We walked over to check on her, only to discover that she had pooped herself and thrown up all over the place. When I touched her head, she didn’t respond. She was conscious, but couldn’t move. Not a good scene.
Of all the times to forget my cell phone! We had walked to the park and our house was about a mile away. A lady walked by with her kids, and she lent me her phone. I called Marina and she came to pick us up right away. We took Diki to an emergency hospital just a few miles away. They immediately took her in and began running tests and treating her for potential poisoning. While they did this, we drove the kids home and I came back to the hospital. They said it looked very serious and that she should spend the night so that they could observe her. After checking on her, I went back home and hoped for the best.
Later that night they called me to let me know she had taken a turn for the worse, and recommended I take her to a specialist. So, I drove back and transferred her to another hospital. They kept her there for the night and in the morning she was doing much better. They then suggested I transfer her back to the original hospital for observation. I went to pick her up that morning and she looked a lot better. She was up and walking around and seemed to be recovering.
I dropped her off and thought she would make a full recovery. That day, I had to go on a business trip. I though by the time I got back two days later all would be good. Unfortunately, the next two days were an emotional rollercoaster. Each time we got an update, it was either good news or bad news. She was getting better then she was getting worse. After two blood transfusions, endless tests, medication, treatments, etc., she went from bad to worse.
On Tuesday night, the Vet suggested that we put her to sleep. I asked them to do whatever they could to make her comfortable and keep her alive. I wanted to be there when she moved on. My trip back to California seemed endless. There was, of course, a bunch of flight delays and traffic. Marina & the girls picked me up at the airport. The drive to the hospital was very somber. On the way there, Luca asked how Diki was doing. All along we had been telling her that she was doing better. But, we could not shield her any longer. I told her we would be putting Diki to sleep. She broke down and cried inconsolably. Ella was much more composed, but you could tell she was very sad and confused.
When we finally got there, they put us all in a small room and we waited for the vet. We decided not to let the girls see Diki be put to sleep. The Vet said she did not look like herself. So, the girls waited while we went to the back. It was a good decision. The sight was depressing. I can’t imagine what Diki must have been thinking. She was alone in this noisy and smelly place. And she was in pain and suffering. I don’t know if I should have asked them to keep her alive until I got there. Perhaps, we should have ended her suffering sooner. But, as soon as I came in, she heard my voice, felt my touch, opened her eyes and looked directly at mine. Until that moment, I had not shed a single tear over this whole event. But, suddenly it hit me. She was a good dog. She loved to run in the park. Whenever I would go in the yard, she would bring me her tennis ball. She loved to bask in the sun and chase squirrels. She loved wrestling with her best buddy, Naagu. She loved to meet new dogs and say hi to everyone in the park. She loved it when I rubbed her hind legs and behind her ears. She tolerated the girls picking her up and bugging her. She was a sweet girl. And now she would be gone forever.
After she took her last breath, they put a sheet around her, and brough her to the room where the girls were waiting. Luca sobbed even harder and Ella broke down for the first time. They both caressed her and said goodbye.
It’s been a few days now. We went camping to Yosemite over the weekend. It helped to keep our minds off of what happened. When we got home, we saw her leash, her pillow and her favorite bone. All, painful reminders of a loved one we will never see again. We’re all doing okay. I think Naagu is having the toughest time. They spent every hour of every day together. He seems very depressed and is not eating his food. We’re spending more time with him than we ever have before. I’m sure in time, he will be back to his normal self.
We have her ashes now. We still don’t know exactly what happened. Maybe an allergic reaction to a bug bite. Maybe she ate some poisonous mushrooms. We’ll never know for sure. I think we’ll try to do a little ceremony for her this coming weekend.
