WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
"It's an opportunity for me to prove myself as a mixed martial artist." - Kimbo Slice, who was announced this week as a contestant on the Ultimate Fighter 10. (Cage Writer)
"Coming from the backyard, coming from being a street fighter. It's time to step up my game." - Slice, who needs a leap more than a step.
"He walked into the gym [today] and this guy is pretty serious. He wasn’t messing around. He wasn’t joking. He wasn’t laughing." - UFC President Dana White. (Carmichael Dave Show)
"I don’t think he’s a big Dana White fan either." - White. He's not a big fan of Seth Petruzelli either.
"I'm hungry out there. Shit, it's a recession." - Slice
YOU'RE A FUCKING LEGEND, BRO
"You take punches better when you abstain from, ah...punching your own loads out." - Phil Baroni, doing it wrong. (Cage Potato)
"I’m not a scientist." - Baroni, aptly.
"I more than [make it up to my wife] when I don’t have a fight. My wife could use a break anyway." - Baroni
"It was a lot easier when I wasn’t married; you could just bring ‘em in the room, one after another, line ‘em up, like when I was in Japan." - Baroni, who's wife is thrilled with this revelation.
"Put Gina Carano in there; I’ll fight her instead." - Baroni, speculating that Joe Riggs wouldn't show up to his fight. I'm not sure Gina can make 170 these days. (MMA Mania)
EVEN FEDOR'S IMPRESSED
"I threw a right hook and tore a tendon in my shoulder. That’s what started it. Then, a week after that, I tore my right bicep and they had to go back in and redo my shoulder and bicep. Shortly after that, my lungs collapsed on me." - Former UFC heavyweight champion Kevin Randleman, just getting started on his injury nightmare. (Times and Democrat)
"Think of a scab on your knee except I had a scab all the way around my left lung and partially my right lung. So, they had to go in, and they didn’t have to take my lung out, per se, but they had to rip the fungus off of my lungs which is just like raw meat." - Randleman. Sounds appetizing.
"The bad blood and the infection got into my blood stream and started shutting down my organs. My kidney, my liver and all that stuff were failing on me and I went into a coma." - Randleman. Standard.
"Think of it as the ‘Rebirth of the Monster.’" - Randleman, Enzyte spokesman
UPPITY 145'ERS
"I’d still be broke, no matter if I’d been the top guy or not. That’s upsetting sometimes." - WEC featherweight champion Mike Brown, on the possibility of being out on his ass if he lost a couple fights in a row. (Cage Potato)
"I do think there needs to be some sort of competition, or there needs to be some sort of... you know, coming together of the fighters and making a stand, because as of right now, they've got a stranglehold on the fight game, Zuffa, and we need to get some dough." - Former WEC featherweight champion Urijah Faber, following the footsteps of such controversey-free fighters as Roger Huerta and Randy Couture. (Adam Corolla Show)
TODD HARRIS, BEACON OF OBJECTIVITY
"I watched in the hotel last night they had some Showtime EliteXC and I thought it was a clown show." - WEC play-by-play man Todd Harris, who also calls such esteemed sports like the Professional Bull Riders. (Cage Writer)
"The production, the way they put it on, the fighters...it wasn't good. The best shows are put on by the fans are put on by the Zuffa folks." - Harris, really doesn't want to go back to reporting from college football sidelines as his only gig.
SO MUCH FOR THAT BOXING CAREER
"I have to be more disciplined." - Former UFC heavyweight champion Andrei Arlovski, prior to his bout with Brett Rogers. Rogers obliterated Arlovski in 22 seconds. (MMA Mania)
"He kind of exposes himself. He likes to lead first and then come with the punch." - Rogers, prior to the fight. (MMA Mania)
"Once, I touch you it is over." - Rogers, too many Star Trek viewings. (MMA Mania)
IT'S ABOUT THAT CHEDDA
"I’m not afraid of nobody. If they use their common sense, they can see what my game plan is." - Former UFC light heavyweight champion Quinton Jackson, making his reasons clear for choosing to coach TUF and fight Rashad Evans instead of challenging Lyoto Machida. It's the money, stupid.
NSAC SHOULD TAKE A LOOK INTO THIS
"I couldn't even get any sleep. Everytime I slept, I lost in my dream. I was like 'Shit, I keep losing in my dream and I never lose in my dream.'" - Former UFC light heavyweight champion Rashad Evans. It's really unfair when Lyoto Machida penetrates your unconscious thoughts. (Cage Writer)
PARTING SHOTS
"I kept punching him and pushing him." - Nick Diaz, with a fitting decription of his fight with Scott Smith. Diaz unloaded over 800 strikes in the bout. (MMA Mania)
"I think I have a woman's hands and I try to hit as hard as I can so it doesn't really work out." - Cub Swanson (Cage Writer)
"I know my English is not good, and I tried to, you know, like on TV when they tell bad words it [sounds] like 'beep beep beep,' but it sounds like pee pee ... It's all good." - Andrei Arlovski, destroying the myth of a classic MMA interview. (MMA Fanhouse)
"My initial reaction was ‘Oh my God, I’ve got to change my strategy to fight a southpaw." - Mustapha Al-Turk. Shouldn't your first thought be, "Oh my god, I'm not fighting Todd Duffee"? (UFC.com)
"I better get back to my locker room before they steal my wallet too." - Former UFC middleweight champion Rich Franklin gives his thoughts on his decision loss to Dan Henderson at UFC 93. (MMA Convert)
