POLL Question for the MEN only please

[Butterbean]

By "watched and judged" I don't mean it in a stalker way but in the sense of thinking people are thinking about you and forming judgments from what they see.


This is stemming from that one book by Shaunti Feldman re: the way men think.

More later on what she says about this.

[tonymctones]

I actually think youre being judged the majority of the time but this question is kinda vague...

someone may cut someone off on the freeway and be judged a A$$, or they may hold the door open for someone and be judged a nice person...

what kind of judgement are we talking about?

sounds like it might be in terms of a potential mate from females or potential threat to mates from other guys?

[benchmstr]

I read people from the second I see them....its always been part of my work though....I can generally sit across the room from someone and watch them for about a hour, and tell you almost anything about them...

Bench

[tonymctones]

I read people from the second I see them....its always been part of my work though....I can generally sit across the room from someone and watch them for about a hour, and tell you almost anything about them...

Bench

exactly everybody is even if you dont meet someone, if you just pass them on the street or see them on TV youre judging them on some level

[Playboy]

People are more intimidated to judge men especially if they are an alpha male and to their face. General fact.

[benchmstr]

but no....i never think about people judging me...i couldn't care less.....if you met me in person the first thing you will notice is that i have crazy self confidence, and ego...so i draw a opinion about myself, and thats the only one that matters to me...

bench

[powerpack]

Guys are constantly sizing each other up.
I have defnitly changed the way I go into meetings, talk or act on an engineering site because of this.

[freespirit]

Guys are constantly sizing each other up.
I have defnitly changed the way I go into meetings, talk or act on an engineering site because of this.

Most guys are insecure, and waist their time by comparing themselves with other guys. Looking inside themselves might scare them too much.

[drkaje]

I really don't worry too much about being judged.

It's different for men. Looks matter less for us and we're evaluated/judged on different things.

[powerpack]

I really don't worry too much about being judged.

It's different for men. Looks matter less for us and we're evaluated/judged on different things.

I am not talking so much about looks it is about much respect, authority and clout you bring.

Looking the part also counts to a degree.
A brilliant young engineer was recently flown to a job but he arrived there looking like a varsity student and no one gave him the time of day.

[Butterbean]

what kind of judgement are we talking about?

sounds like it might be in terms of a potential mate from females or potential threat to mates from other guys?

Sorry, my Poll question wasn't very good (I should have copied one of the author's)..actually the judgment or forming of opinions by other people about you guys would include everything...from your professional life to your public life and I wasn't thinking about it but yes, it would include the potential mate thing too.

Good discussion here.  Very interesting.

[Migs]

i have a thing about me not living up to expectations, mine mostly.  I don't care what too many other people think.

[herne]

i have a thing about me not living up to expectations, mine mostly.  I don't care what too many other people think.

+1

[Butterbean]

i have a thing about me not living up to expectations, mine mostly.  I don't care what too many other people think.

Not sure if I read too much into your statement here but your answer may be the same but just to be a bit more clear the question isn't about whether you care if others are judging/thinking about you, but if you think they are judging/thinking about you.

[drkaje]

Not sure if I read too much into your statement here but your answer may be the same but just to be a bit more clear the question isn't about whether you care if others are judging/thinking about you, but if you think they are judging/thinking about you.

Why would I be thinking about that?

[tonymctones]

Sorry, my Poll question wasn't very good (I should have copied one of the author's)..actually the judgment or forming of opinions by other people about you guys would include everything...from your professional life to your public life and I wasn't thinking about it but yes, it would include the potential mate thing too.

Good discussion here.  Very interesting.

Id say the majority of the time yea ppl are forming judgements or reassesing judgements of everyone around them

I think what stella is saying fellas is not whether you care that ppl are judging you but whether you think ppl are judging you for whatever reason...

[ToxicAvenger]

i answered "not really" but on ocassion i've showed up at family gatherings unshaved , unshowered and stinking to high hell of scotch...then i'm very aware as to not get close to people....so as they dont smell me...and i'm aware of the "looks" i'm getting...

other than that....meh...could care less....

i actually have more respect for people that dont care either way....shows self confidence...

bling is inversly proportional to self esteem

[Brixtonbulldog]

Most of the time it's nothing but I work in shitty neighborhoods and black people are always giving me the stink eye.  I know they be plottin! 

[Migs]

judging me, yes.  Thinking about me, probably not.

[powerpack]

i have a thing about me not living up to expectations, mine mostly.  I don't care what too many other people think.

I agree
I thought I would be much higher up the food chain at this time in my life, it is a worry

Just a thought when guys complain about this it is called having a midlife crisis, it is about taking stock

[Migs]

I agree
I thought I would be much higher up the food chain at this time in my life, it is a worry

Just a thought when guys complain about this it is called having a midlife crisis, it is about taking stock

yup.  I expecteed to be much further along.  at this point it seems like i was making more in highschool than now.  I hae 2 friggin egrees and it sucks

[Parker]

I read people from the second I see them....its always been part of my work though....I can generally sit across the room from someone and watch them for about a hour, and tell you almost anything about them...

Bench

Me too, I'm the same way... But it's funny because I short, people tend to tell me that what they thought of me before is the exact opposite...and somehow, I'm very disarming...
You can't really control people judging you, but you can control someone's perception of you. It's how you perceive yourself, and what you project. I had to learn that when student teaching in Baltimore city amongst a class of 58 kids.

[drkaje]

I read people from the second I see them....its always been part of my work though....I can generally sit across the room from someone and watch them for about a hour, and tell you almost anything about them...

Bench

Checking someone out* is normal for men.

* In case you have to lay the smack down.

[Brixtonbulldog]

Checking someone out* is normal for men.

* In case you have to lay the smack down.

The non-gay isn't checking out.. it's sizing up.

homo

[drkaje]

The non-gay isn't checking out.. it's sizing up.

homo

There's no reason to gay up everything, LOL!

Sorry.... I forgot this is GetBig.